I love making silly little jokes :)

I was talking to my fish buddies and they told me about you yeah I’ve heard all about it glug glug this blurb blurb that it’s so over for you

If you went to a pet store it would be pet dumb

Can Sidney Sweeney like learn to backflip or something I’m so over the whole scantily clad thing I get it you are hot but like it’s old hat at this point

Do other people get the right before bed shitty jokes that just come to you is this a unique thing to me I never thought about it?

Ohhhhh she’s called Judy hops because she’s a rabbit it makes sense I always thought she just really appreciated a good craft beer

Progesterone :)

This was kind of surreal

Bit idea snowman runs for office

JFK if the k stood for Burger King

And now for some motivation from the Owensboro Burger King.

FUCKING GO AWAY I JUST WANT TO WATXH SCHLOCKY HORROR MOVIES WITHOUT HAVING THIS SHIT IN MY FACE

Can stancil just not give a shit about these things it’s so easy to not care

Sleeping in my own bed is so nice after staying up all last night at a relatives house

Being a law professor at Harvard is like getting kicked in the head by a horse.

Fried or possibly baked

Total dogshit allegory aside it’s so fucking good we saw it in the 4d thing it was like a roller coaster I was about sore afterwards 10-10 experience

Mr Ed was the first Umamusume but y’all ain’t ready for that conversation

Coco

When I was in college a few types like this were in my classes didn’t even have to take the tests apparently something with social security lets them take as many classes as they want

While I was up all night I decided to check out TikTok and see what all the fuss was about it and yeah I get why Congress voted to can it stupid fucking vote but I get it

Guess I wasn’t the only one that didn’t get any sleep last night

Dental schools need to expand their remote learning programs

Had like three days straight of Christmas and tomorrow it’s avatar time

I love it it’s the flip drill thing

Really do not care for the amount of ai videos my family are watching

Look at this fucking thing

One of the things the British absolutely got right is the chocolate orange love those things it’s so fun to crack them open and tastes so good

Posted 6:16pm on Christmas Eve

Kitties

Fuck dating apps, I will find a wife by posting a truly deranged personal ad in the London Review of Books

One generous serving of orange loaf. Still warm

Not to get all sappy but today at work we gave each other gifts and I got tools and a little handheld Atari thing and they all loved the sleeping masked I got for them and we played bored games it was really nice

Where does the Atlantic find these people

LRT: I am very uncomfortable with everyone doing their own little true crime podcast investigation with the Epstein files trying to find the juiciest stuff to go viral with, and I think we should all be exercising some restraint. Someone’s going to end up doxing victims for clout.

boy, charlie brown, of all the charlie browns out there, you're charlie brown

she’s a hippo, she doesn’t know how predictions work, she just likes trump and wanted him to win

I was born in 1601. I am a vampire. And for that reason I’m out.

i feel like this from roosevelt's 1942 state of the union address still works as a mantra today for our fight

This is such a selfish thing to think but I keep telling myself thank god I didn’t go to OU

Is this good?

It’s always weird when stuff like this comes up because for me working for the tribe was always gonna happen

All the cool kids are going to www.governmentjobs.com

“No cultural legacy” explain that to the blue fleshlight that I just saw

"Grok I've been placed in command of the SuperMAGA Battleship USS Donald J Trump, the PLA have launched 40 DF-41s directly at me and the ship is too big to maneuver away from them What do i do?"

ITS REAL?

Wait how the fuck did I miss that the boat shit was for battleships a thing we haven’t done since like the 40s

Intellectual property and it’s an equation lmao

Here it is, your moment of zen