I don’t think I’d want to live in a country with multiple time zones. There’s something weird going on there. What are they hiding? All wrong

Well I’m not sure what to post tomorrow now

Finally. I’m still prepping for a move to Apple Music though

[GC] Group Chat test

I have group chats now but can I send dick pics?

“Life Pro Tip” and it’s the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard and could only possibly work in Pitstain Alabama if you don’t mind going to prison and not the fun sexy prison you see in those short films online

This guy followed me a couple of weeks ago so I followed back and waited for the inevitable as indicated by the ratio. Today... yep! bye!

I've spent the past 10 minutes trying to work out if, in one of the universes, the original, very dark version of And Then There Were None happens in the same hotel where Daphne Castle comments that Arlena could "Throw her legs in the air higher than any of us!... ... and wider..."

The Pifflevalve Investment Strategy System (PISS) says it's still Buy Time btw

Day off, so I'm just at home with rain hitting the windows, while a spaniel watches me drinking a cup of tea. It's quite nice

I voted! 🗳️ (against the directors’ remuneration report, just to be awkward)

Gooning for the next 4 days

Cake by the Ocean - DNCE

Who wants some

Two managers have touched my upper arm today. This has never happened before. Am I about to be taken out the back of the barn and put out of my misery?

I just turfed some random person out of my booked desk by the window. Yes there are lots of other desks free, but I booked this one. Yes I’m serious. I’ll help you move. I don’t care if you think this is pathetic

It’s here!

Like this post if you’re still using Twitter

International arrest warrant for Elon and block Twitter in the UK until he hands himself in

Tomorrow’s my Friday and I have a big dick 😃

Hope you enjoyed 🥰

I did my local government annual refresher course on equalities a few weeks ago and it’s more about “just don’t be a dick” than giving anyone special treatment

There are many, many videos online showing the answer to this

🧐 www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

*ties you up*

I turned the wrong hot plate on to boil my broccoli and then got stuck into a coding problem for 20 minutes while an empty frying pan reached the temperature of the sun so my house smells wonderful now

Just popped the electric blanket on for a few minutes

Anyone else horny for Home Bargains opening in Honiton in 2 weeks? I’m moist

I have completely wasted my weekend 🥳

Is your penis ok?

I went to the shop to buy eggs for my low carb high protein wfh omelette tomorrow and bought eggs, Haribo, Pringles and yogurt coated banana chips.

🤫

Useless copilot

Sunday scaries, but also… I’m only working Monday to Wednesday for the next two weeks so… 🤔

Coffee to round off the Sunday roast anyone?

Bluesky content this morning

Later today I'll be driving past the entrance to the caves used for filming the underground scenes on planet Eternia in Masters of the Universe. Pretty sure I can make some money from this. There must be a way

AI notification when you walk past my house

I cleaned out my hole with a cocktail stick and now the plug stays in!

I’m watching A Murder is Announced (Joan Hickson as Miss Marple) and I know I could get to Chipping Cleghorn and back before the killer is revealed as long as the A35 isn’t messed up

Is it gay to bend at the knees when you get stuff out of an under-counter fridge?

Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Do you ever hang around the gymnasium? Do you like movies about gladiators? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

What? I’m not homeless

Do you ever interact with someone in customer service and afterwards think “my god, their head is just the place they store their teeth”?

On the day Moonbase Alpha lost contact with Earth in Space 1999 after an explosion ripped the moon from orbit, the song at No1 in the UK charts was We’re Going to Ibiza - Vengaboys #PiffleFact

Somehow the village fete always brings with it a severe weather warning

I’m sensing homosexuality in the vicinity

I like the bit where Mrs Peacock peers right down between Yvette’s massive boobs while holding a glass of champagne

Dead celebrities I’ve made eye contact with but when they were alive: Annabel Giles Wincey Willis Anthony Head

Oh. He smiled at me in Paddington Station once. The bit where you go down the steps to the underground