fivehead hard launching

ok you guys never feel silly working out? like this bicycle crunch is ridiculous rn

watching the shower scene from heated rivalry ep. 1 for leg day motivation

the stockings are hung on the bookshelf with care

exclusively referring to long johns as johnathans from now on

last night on the dance floor one of my besties leaned in and said “chris, i can tell how much work you’ve put into your chest lately” and i came instantly

so depressing that my 2:30 AM walk home was the warmest the weather will be all day today

on vacation for the next three weeks, so gonna go kiss some boys tonight to celebrate

my kitten vacillates between perfect sleeping angel and must-kill-everything demon so quickly

catch me walking under icicles today in the hopes i get Final Destinationed

this lighting makes me look Large

🤭🤭🤭

taking a long, hot shower just to feel something (warmth)

i can’t go to the gym in the morning because i need approximately 3 hours to mentally flog myself for not going to the gym in the morning

oops accidentally got high and hyperfixated for 45 minutes all berries

i’m so into hats right now

we don’t talk about how lazy of a brand name Lubriderm is.

sharing music is my love language

guess who stayed out past his 🎶bedtime🎶

my favorite part of getting ready to go out for the night is our hype up dance party where we drink coffee in our sweats, play music videos, and dance in the living room

i shouldn’t get a buzzcut, right?

me thinking it’s fate when a relatable song comes up on the playlist i curated

all i’m bringing to friendsgiving is a bottle of wine and the full choreo to gnarly. think i should grab a bag of ice too?

i need a hug that is also strong enough to crack my back into place. is that too much to ask for?

oh, we’re going out tonight?

trying so hard to not fall asleep on me (failing miserably)

it is really challenging to be professional on zoom while a kitten is biting your feet off camera

“damn bitch, you live like this?” - me to my cats

actual interaction with my mother: mom: your turkey’s going to be better than mine. i’ve never brined my turkey. how big of a turkey did you get? me: 15 lbs. mom: hm. mine’s 19 lbs.

if my family doesn’t notice how much work i’ve put into the gym this year, i will buy them all early flights home

hush baby, hurry slowly is the spiritual successor to strangers and i just don’t know what else to tell you

the worst part about doing a peloton ride is there are no gym boyfriends at home

i stg my workout app is trying to kill me

does this read as frat party? be honest.

gonna take my feelings out back and old yeller them real quick brb

lobotomy, it feels so good

the completely illogical hatred for someone who snags the equipment you need right before you go to use it

it’s snowing. picture unrelated.

if you go dancing, i’ll go dancing too

how is it not friday yet?

been a minute since i’ve kissed for fun.

you ever just realizing you’ve been clenching your jaw for like three weeks?

hush baby, hurry slowly

i finally finished a game that i’ve spent over 130 hrs playing and it was still only about 87% complete. the perfectionist in me is screaming.

you ever wake up and just know it’s going to be one of those days where you get nothing done

it’s not that deep unless you want it to be

really unclear as to why Outlook always insists on autocompleting my name as Christmas

“i’m going to take a picture in your mirror when i watch your cats, just fyi” and i’m a man of my word

she should be at the club

imagine just being this small out in the world. just one speck of a cat.