collecting gym nemeses like infinity stones

i don’t want to work i just want to listen to amber mark

my kitten demands blanket forts solely so he can do this

did i ever think i’d read philosophy again after college? absolutely not.

was there that much fingerblasting in wuthering heights and i just missed it in high school?

i love the feeling of finding a new favorite song tbh like “oh we’re gonna be together for at least the next ten days straight”

objects in mirror are closer than they appear

i can’t wait to be fully hairless AND sad

it’s been a minute since i’ve paid the gym mirror toll

these negative wind chills, man.

if anyone has maintained their dry january commitment this year, your mental fortitude needs to be studied

my husband is lurking in the shadows of this picture like a gremlin

i take one (1) edible and i’m actually so funny you guys you don’t get it

i’m supposed to voluntarily leave my house today?

lifted heavy things and my back didn’t explode. please clap.

yet another day of my back being thrown out instead of blown out 👴🏻

if anyone needs me; don’t

it’s a good thing we don’t have AIM away messages anymore

vibes are terrible today. i’m going back to bed.

i don’t want to look at my computer, there are emails in there

just remembered other people can perceive me. no thanks

i’m about to get so fkn cozy

gym and groceries done. you better believe i’m not changing out of my robe for the remainder of the day

i was hoping for a more pronounced difference from last year, but progress is progress is progress (kitten cameo in pic 2)

not a friend at the gym clocking my edible and now i forget how my body works

where the treetops glisten

omg i did want a broken hot water heater for christmas! dreams do come true!

fivehead hard launching

ok you guys never feel silly working out? like this bicycle crunch is ridiculous rn

watching the shower scene from heated rivalry ep. 1 for leg day motivation

the stockings are hung on the bookshelf with care

exclusively referring to long johns as johnathans from now on

last night on the dance floor one of my besties leaned in and said “chris, i can tell how much work you’ve put into your chest lately” and i came instantly

so depressing that my 2:30 AM walk home was the warmest the weather will be all day today

on vacation for the next three weeks, so gonna go kiss some boys tonight to celebrate

my kitten vacillates between perfect sleeping angel and must-kill-everything demon so quickly

catch me walking under icicles today in the hopes i get Final Destinationed

this lighting makes me look Large

🤭🤭🤭

taking a long, hot shower just to feel something (warmth)

i can’t go to the gym in the morning because i need approximately 3 hours to mentally flog myself for not going to the gym in the morning

oops accidentally got high and hyperfixated for 45 minutes all berries

i’m so into hats right now

we don’t talk about how lazy of a brand name Lubriderm is.

sharing music is my love language

guess who stayed out past his 🎶bedtime🎶

my favorite part of getting ready to go out for the night is our hype up dance party where we drink coffee in our sweats, play music videos, and dance in the living room

i shouldn’t get a buzzcut, right?

me thinking it’s fate when a relatable song comes up on the playlist i curated

all i’m bringing to friendsgiving is a bottle of wine and the full choreo to gnarly. think i should grab a bag of ice too?