onto the most pressing issue facing the us right now: deadpool should sound like jerry lewis

listening to some showbiz podcasts to get some inside info on the entertainment industry. bowen yang just casually admitted he watched one battle after another on 1.5x speed

bluesky keeps giving me this repeat notification about this bot account liking one my tweets (the bluesky version of x™eets)

forget "leftist joe rogan". what we really need is a modern atheist yojimbo to pit the conservative protestant megachurches against the mostly Catholic supreme court

Easter was too early this year. Put me on the cross if you disagree

what if it turns out those "new york was peaceful in the 70's before WOKE" posts are just conservatives subliminally announcing that they're trying to get rid of rudy giuliani

do you think God could ever create a dancer so uncontrollable

the best part of this is that according to the replies, the shell is still on the egg

the keurig dr. pepper company has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

wait, is this what he looked like before the surgeries

note to self: don't put on a turtleneck sweater someone else is offering

think I'd be willing to defend the new mario movies as "basically harmless" if it weren't for pratt as mario. Don't know if james gunn was responsible for putting pratt in the mcu, but shame on him for taking a good sitcom actor and squeezing the life out of him

Crime Paint

watching the rankin/bass easter special on tubi

the son has become the father

some parenting tips for all the 38-year-olds on here

listening to music online

I guess it's fitting they've already made a remake of Her (2013)

nobody reads my tweets (the bluesky version of x™eets) so I'll just say it: sam campbell and david mitchell do seem to have at least a bit of onscreen sexual chemistry

I can't say I'm not part of the problem, but april fools this year seemed especially mirthless

these guys must be genuinely terrified of non-white people if "indian guys do social media vanity stuff too" is that shocking to them

unfortunately I was moronic enough to watch that new mario movie, so I gotta say this just makes the starfox stuff in that flick even more offensive

sorry for double dipping but I remembered some others

this one's got a nice cadence

seeing a lot of posts on here where any time they want to praise an april fools prank they have to label it as "the only good april fools prank." Starting to suspect this is a joyless place

seeing this quote get shared a lot. I think I'd respect these kinds of takes more if they skipped the "what about the children?" stuff and people just admitted that they hold the concept of mario dear to their hearts

they should make a version of animal farm where napoleon is the good guy. I wonder if that was what that red dawn movie was about

Let's call it Project Heil Mary

nintendo is so greedy nowadays. the fools can't even keep their holiday, now it's gotta be about some wii game movie

watching Mona Lisa (1986) after seeing Super Mario Bros. (1993): getting a lot of mario vibes from this angry short guy who's constantly being sent on quests

Dailywire+ has greenlit a NEW film adaptation of Hillbilly Elegy. "No more woke crones like Glenn Close. They're gonna do it right this time" says Vice President Vance

oh no, he's turning into that mcdonalds ceo

unfortunately, since the culture war is real and has very observable material effects, there probably does need to be a strategy for how to talk to the kind of weird adult who's attached to harry potter

simplest way to make this place more appealing to artists and casual users and so on is to just have public likes like twitter had back in the pre-musk days

Knights in Service of Sandwich

remembering the greatest hits of yester-yester-year

I guess it didn't work out for him

there's almost something chilling about the character of Gwenpool— someone who finds the thought of crime to be funny...

guy who ate a sandwich while waiting in line, only to find out the pain he was feeling in his shoulder actually means he needs surgery in his abdomen

I've caught a glimpse of the genius's typo

alright, alright, I admit it. Spiderkash is my xvideos account

these ARGs are getting out of hand

barbara fried and maye musk should start a parenting advice podcast