Time to charm my way into a masters programme

Hmm

I need someone to feed me some Things To Say To Men About Sports as a matter of urgency.

I'm going to make an excel spreadsheet so good that everyone falls in love with me

Was anybody going to tell me about the naked dwarves fountain scene in the extended edition of the first hobbit movie or was I supposed to just find out about that while getting a full back tattoo??

Marking my last day at work by just shaking my head and walking away anytime anyone tries to say goodbye to me.

Pitch fork? I hate to tell you this but they invented that ages ago...

Im vagueposting about you. You. Yes, you, reading this, that's right.

Tboys dress like closeted transfemmes who dress like butches who dress like tboys who-

I'm going to do a standup comedy routine about being autistic where I also completely over explain every single joke I make.

My relationship with the bit may be non-monogamous but boy am I committed to it.

Mr and Mrs Potato head were t4t. I am not taking questions at this time.

You have to start your day with as much efficiency as possible to maximise the grind. My hack is, when you wake up in the morning, eat a meal to give yourself energy. I'm calling this idea "break-fast" because it will help you break out of your sluggish routine. Follow me to fix your life.

Does anyone want to have a census 1926 themed gathering with me in April

Fire men? Uhhh I think the union will have something to say about that

In 2026 I've decided I'm done with concepts and theories. Not going to be thinking about them anymore.

Overwhored

Babies are being born socialist atheists...

Can't even die anymore because of woke

If you have a big nap on Christmas day it actually gives you twice as much rest as any other day of the year. Follow me for more health advice.

Charades but it's just me and my siblings seeing who can make the best Minecraft noises

Bringing so much tboy swag to the production of this Christmas dinner

Having a bit of a

My Dad is eating cheese and he keeps muttering "eating my cheese... Eating my cheese..." Under his breath. I guess there's a reason I am the way I am.

I've only been home ten minutes and my father is already holding a lit candle with a pliers. Looking forward to Christmas.

I should be allowed to get into arguments with people as Gaeilge more I'd have such better insults.

I've done it I've figured out love I know what it is now definitely. And this will never change.

If you have a trio of friends and one of you can't make the hangout it is the duty of the other two to talk about the missing third like either proud or concerned parents.

Sometimes getting a pint spilled over you is good for your karaoke performance it turns out.

In this house we love the creature

Being in the centre of a group photo and sitting up straight while everyone else leans in to get in the shot so you look like jesus at the last supper

Hang on kid's bones are GREEN????

I may have been misgendered in this first aid course but so was one of the cis men doing it so I think I win actually

Doing my first aid course wearing the t-shirt I had made from my MRI photos of my fractured foot. Do you think the paramedics will find this funny.

I am going to build a home free of evil spoons, thereby breaking a cycle of trauma that has been ongoing in my family for generations.

The children yearn for the toxic yaoi

Sibling Mitski discussion circle

Every time I visit my family I learn something new and insane about their current residence. Last time the dishes were in the filing cabinet. Now none of the light switches are light switches. I will never be able to Intuit my way around this place.

I'm in a bad place rn. And by that I mean Ennis train station.

Ar an traein arís

Had a horrible stress dream that someone asked me on a date. Woke up feeling like I was being hunted for sport. I'm doing fine.

No better way to keep your ego in check than hanging out with younger siblings. They are completely without mercy.

"Men and women can never just be friends"? You guys don't even seem to like each other when you're in a relationship what do you MEAN

I'm clearing out my wardrobe and because I'm normal I've decided to make a spreadsheet cataloguing and categorising every item of clothing I own so that I can decide what to keep.

Too many onion ring...

I may be misunderstanding social cues but I'm doing it in a new, fun way that makes everyone intrigued by me and whatever I have going on

I really feel like I was born to be the age that I am right now

My schedule for this morning: 6am-7am: get to the train 7am-8am: yearning (on the train) 8am-10am: practise for interview

Always find it so funny when people gender me as male in public and then apologise when I speak or something. Like girl do you think I look like this by accident.

Ever since I broke my foot I get the urge to take my shoes off when I'm on the train. One step closer to the wizard.