i can’t really get over the dream i had last night it was soooo funny

wedding

i wanna write ska

pineapple jalapeños pepperoni pizza

manifested seeing my middle school crush, and i had to serve him and his DATE

i hope elon musk moves to hell michigan. that would be really funny

i fhink im ill

asking what the english word for something as if it is my second language.

going to a wedding tmw….

men find me intimidating bcos often times we end up having the same shoe size, and i make them trade with me. #PunksInPumps

let’s get #SuperWhoLock trending!!!

i gotta get back into gaming. been so depressed

in 7 days a song i made two months ago will be on more streaming platforms right bow its on soundcloud if you even give a shit. #CounterStrike #ProdMe #Producer #Garageband #Soundcloud #Smexy on.soundcloud.com/2AGoaTTMnBcu...

whatver you do- dont eat deodorant

trying to speak regular but the benadryl scrambled with my wernickes area

beer cheese + premarital

vaping as hard as i can before i go to the doctors and they tell me i cant do that no more

im not done with twitter. i will explore any avenue i can to garner more attention from people who expect nothing from me

what if i agreed to be someone’s girlfriend and they hate me??? like am i someone’s girlfriend??? please tell me- also we need to talk.

i’m freaking out

where the bad bitches at, im trynna see something crazy

i want to eat a bowl of avocado spread, mayo, and red onion

New #AmericanDad is Gas

i always want to trauma dump but something stops me every time. i think it should be encouraged and i would like everyone to laugh at my pain with me. and if not me, some other miserable troglodyte will get all the attention

i want it too bad

is it true that everytime your chest hurts it means someone falsely accused you of a crime? i heard someone say that….

everytime your chest hurts someone falsely accused you of a crime

if i had my own family, we would be weirdly conservative, but only about shit that doesn’t matter. My kids won’t be allowed to watch anything that isn’t foreign.

pregnancy is in the air bad :(( but i just reached out to someone who is going to fix this. You thought they were banning abortions? NEWSFLASH they’re BANNING the Hanky Spanky. No sex? No unwanted pregnancy. 2️⃣🦅🦅1️⃣💎

they hate to see me jerk, what are they?? Chicken?!?!

straight up jerkin it to the sound of November Rain

when i log into my crypto wallet and start throwing my hard earned money into something bcos i got good vibes from its ticker

how to diagnose whats wrong with me no doctors no glue no borax

how to tell if im dying of cancer

just converted another Family Guy fiend to the American Dad Stans The Man Clan

everything going wrong in my life could be solved with a bottle of robitussin, and a rotisserie chicken i can eat with my bare hands

as soon as i start getting happy over my man, he disappoints me again. oh my god hes a narcissist

thank god his team won, i am so tired of explaining to our son why daddy has to go on a mandatory three day vacation everytime the Dodgers lose

im addicted to the dopamine hits i get from post interactions

🤞🏽💯

Clubs vs Baby Seals

Baby Bash vs Bastion from OW

Sean O’Malley vs 300 Wolves

Team Edward vs Team Jacob?

death will be plentiful i will spare none of you peasants

every time i post before proofreading, i deserve a lashing

i love getting online and LARPING as a WASP mom with an u healthy relationships with painkillers

im crying at my son rn 😭😭 he keeps saying things like “skibidi rizz” and im like “this is why your father is leaving us”

changing the answers on my kid’s homework to ensure they cant ruin my summer. #SummerSchool #LifeHack