Dominants asking if you pissed yourself like a little girl and not stopping their bullying until you admit you did. 🥰🥰🥰

Why is this so horrifically pathetic omfg

Unironically just wet the bed. Why am I like this aaa

Three days in a row now, I've dreamt up new kinks and then woke up with an extra one Help

What do you think a swirly in the skibidi toilet would be like?

Being a switch is so wild because I can be in the most intensely submissive and obedient mood. Then I see someone pathetic, and I can only think about how I need to ruin them

Need to lick a woman's boots so badly I'm panting

Girl who adopts a couple but only so that she can forcefemme the guy and then have a lesbian harem

*in the middle of watersports* thanks for the gold, kind stranger

The decline of the mistress title needs to be studied

Thinking about that little folded line of skin that goes down the cock

All I'm saying is that if the League of Nations didn't want to collapse, they shouldn't have gone with a comic book villain name

Tfw you're so bored that you start humouring the chasers just to kill time

Why is it that anytime I find a new funny account here, they're having sex with the other accounts I follow? This while site is one polycule designed to cuck me I stg

Polycule that exists exclusively to cuck one specific member that Noone will let out of chastity

HEARTWARMING: Trans woman finds another trans woman willing to collar her; only 6000kms away

Sometimes I get stressed questioning my gender and then I remember... I dont have to pick. I'm allowed to just do what I want and dismiss labels. There's no need to decide between being binary trans and cis.

I'm bi, but like... only for long-white-haired vampire elf twinks who would look like they need to be in a crop top and micro skirt. Surprisingly common category

Bimbofying a girl until shes stupid enough to find my bits funny

Peeing in the sink is good for the environment

I want to live to be like 80 so I can just meditate all day and give people vague life advice in the form of poetry

I miss having layers in my hair :(

Age regressing to 5 minutes ago so I can un-burn my dinner

Powerscalimg the polycule to see who's the dommiest

Marketing director: "What's the best strategy for us to penetrate the market?" Me: *Moans*

There's no way this made it past screening

I wish I could tell 6 year old me that my Dad is wrong and trading cards will, in fact, get me so many girls

Every bluesky friend group has the: Horny trans girl Horny trans girl Diversity hire cis guy Horny trans girl Horny trans enby Horny trans girl Horny trans girl that won't admit she's trans Asexual who likes dnd

Girl handing you apple juice with an odd after-taste and a grin on her face

Girl at the bar: "Hey, your hair looks nice." Me, so drunk my knees are crooked: "Can yuo pull it and call me puppy?"

*Farts cutely*

Health insurance that asks you what kinks you're into so they can gage the health implications

Trying to haze the new cheerleader, but she's suspiciously into any attempts to humiliate her

IBS sucks because what do you mean I just sat on the toilet for an hour and didn't even go? I was literally running to the toilet 😭

Girl who sees you lick your plate and makes you get on the floor and do it on all fours

Petplay, but for a fish. You just sit in a glass case on a shelf and occasionally you get fed or stared at

Business idea: Cleaning company that provides free HRT in exchange for dressing as a maid once a month and cleaning.

I think it is possible that I am not cis

As a kid, I discovered that my urethra was the same size as a ds stylus. I also discovered that if I squeeze, the stylus shoots out. I unironically lost so many stylus that way

I'm putting my index and middle fingers of each hand up to their respective temple while closing my eyes and furrowing my brow in an attempt to psionically control your cat into peeing on your living room rug.

Me: "I value my time" Also me: *Goons for 8 hours and scrolls through Reddit all day*

Pinned tweet

The masculine desire to be a eunuch advisor to a rich and powerful woman so I can scheme behind her back and also maybe get pegged

Trans girl who can't decide what flower to name herself after, so she's named "Plant"

This is the face of an alpha male

Domming your neurodivergent puppygirl gf into eye-contact is animal abuse

You like trans women because you fetishize them. I like trans women because I need a girl to vent about trading card games to. We are not the same.

Not letting your puppygirl gf eat the brownies you just made because she can't have chocolate

Ethical non-monogamy be damned, I need unethical non-monogamy. Someone tie me up in the corner and make me watch while the polycule fucks without me.

My hobbies: -Sex -Drugs -Rock and Roll -Except only really kinky sex -And no hard drugs -Also mainly alt rock