then again there is a hot middle aged butch so really who can say if it's bad, right?

watching a show and they're playing a muezzin over footage of prehistoric utah. type of shit you only see in the 2000s

nevermind, i take this back. the coughing giving me cramps in my lower abdomen is quite gender affirming actually 😍😭 /hj

update 2:

adding to the Official "weird ass things that make me dysphoric and shouldn't" list: Having a cold. No, not the part where it makes my voice deep and raspy, that's understandable. The concept of having a cold or being unwell as a woman gives me dysphoria. somehow.

Watching Tangerine for the first time and A: I didn't realise this was a Christmas movie. B: I didn't realise it was so damn FUNNY. I just thought it was a drama, not a comedy-drama, but I'm not even 3 minutes in and I've laughed twice. The comedic timing is EVERYTHING it's so good.

jade 2 years ago didn't know how good she had it, damn

just made a "Mind Goblin these nuts" joke to a sweet 70 year old trans elder. they shouldn't let me have a space in queer community tbh. I'm cancelling myself for this preemptively.

adding to this, i'm *also* developing daddy issues that were previously held back/redirected due to a lack of interest in men.

reflecting a bit on it being trans day of remembrance on the same day as my 7 month hrt anniversary. It's a lot of very mixed feelings for me, a day of a small celebration personally but also mourning for those we've lost, many of them before they could get even as far as I have in transition.

i fear that hrt is just making me a basic white girl...first it was the attraction to men, now it's a new appreciation for taylor swift's music...soon i'll be drinking vanilla lattes...someone save me before i start making pinterest boards

...she's Mormon 😨😭 Good thing it's facial hair removal at least, I can just boymode through that.

cyber-stalking my laser technician to try and figure out if she's cool with the dolls or not (I honestly can't tell if her friends just have a lot of buccal fat removal or they're clocky)

ughhhhh it's only getting worse oh my god he vaguely flirted at me when I came into chat and I was blushing and kicking my feet and almost giggling BRING ME BACK TO LESBIANISM!!!

thinking this again....where can i find a tboy that looks like this? being a puppyboy as well is optional but pretty swag....

okay am I crazy or is estrogen just...not sweet? Like gals keep saying it is, but it's bitter if anything. Is it a metaphor???

just realised i'm somehow mutuals with alyson greaves...i really should get around to reading dorley one of these days. But not today!

Told her!!! Ended up talking for...about 2 hours? The whole thing, etc etc...except that I use she/her. I KNEW I forgot something.

okay so I've not told my mum that I'm on hrt yet. She knows I'm trans (well okay she "knows" I use they and she but never uses she and I also don't use they anymore and haven't for two years) but I've not told her I've started. (1/2)

I think estrogen could save her. Actually, I think estrogen *did* save her, to me this is a butch.

girl who stims by flopping her peen around (she's me)

was just thinking this and searched "tom scott trans" glad that someone else sees the vision

re-reading the gender narrative I had to write two years and I am *so* fucking catty in this I can't even believe it. Like calling my mum "relatively masculine" and her clothes "practical but unstylish" as a kind of rejection of the idea that I may have been influenced into femininity by imitation.

update: started estrogen this summer, but still not hot, still kind of rotting and still have the bad kind of ripped jeans!

oh...oh i've done this my whole life...am i a puppy girl??? i don't even like dogs!!! 😭

...having the sudden realisation i'm about to become a trans girl stereotype and get bangs soon, because holy SHIT i look good with them.

goddamn it those trans girls talking about hrt making them attracted to men were right, i'm watching a mid twitch streamer and basically swooning over him and his voice. UGHHHHHH I USED TO BE A LESBIAN

Been watching a twitch stream featuring a guy with my deadname, so now I live in constant fear of accidentally calling him Jade. I just autocorrect that name in my head to stop me introducing myself as [deadname] at this point. (yeah i know you can guess my deadname from this, i don't care)

i know estrogen can't change my voice or my laugh but it sure does feel like it has! i used to laugh really loud and kinda gruntingly, but now i just sorta do a breathy panting like i'm a car that won't quite start

update: still cone, gotten bigger, not yet Big Cone.

update on the emotional effects of estrogen, just got mild criticism and broke down crying and apologising although that might be the trauma actually. truly who can say?

damn estrogen really does have emotional effects huh? just cried 3 times watching a film and i'm barely halfway done. had to stop it because i was just completely sobbing and couldn't even focus on the film. is it kinda gender affirming? hell yeah. is it kinda frustrating? ...also yeah.

i got tits that look like cones at the cost of them being very very tiny. sad. hopefully they grow into Big Cone.

no longer doing this :( hrt took my cumbing away :(

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

lol and lmao, my ass did NOT get hrt fairly soon. started it 6 days ago, so...464 days after this skeet.

It is a horrible day in Britain and you are a lovely trans person

Currently watching The Minecraft Movie (totally legally dw for sure): Less than two minutes in...why is Jack Black on a greenscreen IN AN OFFICE? That doesn't need a greenscreen!

i'm still a bpd survivor

still doing this btw if anybody wants to know

born 2 be transsexual forced 2 be transgender

woah really past me thats so awesome anyway does anybody want to do parallel play

rewatching silence of the lambs critical support for buffalo bill

been thinking this again. also sorry for the quote skeet (do people still say skeet? i've been on twitter for too long and have lost my bluesky dialect) spam. just rereading the old bangers.

sadly this has not yet happened :(

i have the hottest of red-hot takes older women are cool and hot who's with me!?!?!?

deploying my autistic rizz by calling a 25 year old an older woman and then immediately getting ghosted

once again considering this

What's with the sudden influx of chasers and bots? Don't get me wrong, it's not like there were *none* before, but pretty much immediately it seems like it's gone from mostly genuinely cool people to Twitter v2.

I'm sad to announce that the presidential debate last night determined that ONLY the catgirls and doggirls are politically relevant that said all the animal/plant/nonhuman girls/fems/thems stay important to my interests and are to be eaten out and serviced as a matter of policy