yes, yes, we've all seen your bouche. very amusing

Happy Pride Month 🌈🥳 here is cute collection of queer people representing their pride flags! I've got the Bi pride first to rep myself 🩷💙💜 If you're interested in a custom one with your look, your flag, your skin + hair etc., I'm doing them for $15, so send me a DM if you are interested! ⭐

My first appointment is booked under a name of someone I went to high school with. Praying for my own sanity that it’s just another person and not actually them 🙏🏻🧎🏻‍➡️

A little 30min watercolour and oil pastel sketch I did last night just to get off my screens for a while 🖌️ What do you think?

Truly nothing is more frustrating than working in a trades based industry, and living in an old rental full of some of the most dogshit quality of workmanship in every corner, nook and cranny.

I wish to give a big fat wet kiss upon the lips to the genius person who came up with pre-made freezer hashbrowns 😙

Used the grill compartment of this absolutely dogshit landlord special Chef brand double oven and am positively shooketh to my foundations at how well it worked in cooking something that was a fucking nightmare when I pan-fried it two weeks ago.

Incredible that I am being paid to have to come to TAFE today (despite completing all required deliverables this week), solely to complete a hand drawn 1:10 scale plan drawing of what we have already built, assembled and installed 🤪

Chimney pots: done! ✅ Gluing office onto goods shed: done! ✅ I love my first cardboard HO scale model child 🥹🚂

Good thing ya boy has his first session of counselling this coming Monday because HOO BOY have I had a week and got some shit to talk about!!

Save for the gluing of the office onto the actual goods shed and the chimney pots onto their stacks, she’s done! Guess I gotta work on the actual baseboard, rails, wiring, cork and ballast now 😗✌🏻

Progress on my silly little model has been slow due to my absolutely dogshit mental health of late, HOWEVER! All the main building components have been erected and roofed!! 🏘️🚂

I fear that me blasting Dancing On The Wall whilst driving is going be detrimental to me being able to keep my license going forward 🫣🛻💨

Had to pull over and take this view in for a hot minute whilst driving in the Yarra Valley for an at home client visit 🏞️☁️

Save me Moccona classic instant coffee (medium roast) and two 10mg methylphenidate hydrochloride tabs 😴🥱

Forgot to charge my work phone and work laptop last night. Both were practically dead for my first client appointment, and I’ve also somehow left/misplaced my sunglasses at my first clients house and neither her or myself could find them. Honestly, someone just put me down.

I need time to hurry the fuck up and winter solstice to be done and over with. Already sick of the house being dark and needing lights by 5pm and we’re only now just into May 🫠

Happy Monday to everyone except the filling in one of my front teeth that fell out in my sleep 😩

Truly nothing thrills me more than appointments booked and scheduled with clients at our showroom that could’ve been: a). An email. b). Sorted by the client just reading what we do on our website. LOVE to waste an hour and a half just…talking about the concept of their kitchen 😗✌🏻

“Please welcome to the stage, Steak Diane, and her drag sister Big Miss Steak!” 💃🏻🥩

YES!! 🫪 I FINALLY HAVE THIS BITCH NOW!! 🫪 HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Really unnerving working at a client’s house doing their new kitchen who I constantly see in the “most woofed near you” subcategory on the Scruff homepage 😗

Not to be a typical Melburnian and complain about the weather, but what the fuck is this weather?!

Might get stoned in my childhood home, eat leftover lasagne, drink beer and watch Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris!!

In the other class running concurrently to ours in the same workshop, there’s a pair of identical twins who wear almost the same clothes, glasses, everything and also are working as a pair. Wild.

Incredible scenes at TAFE. Diesel is $2+ a litre, and the lads will all still go to their cars at lunch break, sit in them, turn them on and crank the A/C and let them idle for 30 minutes. I…

The heater has made a powerful enemy by deciding not to work this morning.

Weekend away in the High Country with my parents, their dog, my brother who lives abroad and is visiting, his partner, me and Jake. I’ve had a tension headache just thinking about what could possibly go wrong, weehee! 😀🤪

Taking annual leave is almost not fucking worth it, because you need to somehow condense five days worth of work into four 😩

The more I block accounts flogging pet related products, care or services on Instagram, the more they double down and keep showing me in ads 😭😩 I don’t have a pet dog!! Or a pet cat!! I don’t care about your orthopaedic dog beds!! Leave me alone!!

Colleague who has been employed with us since March of last year, who only works on job sites and is also an apprentice, who constantly asks clarifying questions about things he really should know by now, somehow managed to drill 12 fucking holes through the front of a drawer panel, not the back 😀

Back on my modelling nonsense after a two (?) year hiatus. Feels good man 🚂😌

If there’s one thing about doctors clinic receptionists, it’s that no matter their age, they really just don’t give a FUCK!!

Boss (yesterday): On Thursday, can you deliver a panel and pick up four jobs from the spray shop. (No time specified). Boss (now, when I’m already at the spay shop): (Absolutely LOVE to have my time wasted due to lack of information!! J’adore!!)

My audition (assessment appointment) for the role of ‘patient seeking mental health care’ was successful 😭✊🏻

Lord, if I could not be blamed for shit that was not my doing at work for ONE fucking day, that would be amazing.

I’m not okay (finished the last episode of His Dark Materials on HBO only a week after finishing re-reading the books).

My new enemy at work is the factory’s panel saw. I hate that spiteful bitch with a passion.

Wild to have started listening to a new podcast today, and then the same podcast host liked one of the work Instagram accounts latest posts. Some uncanny valley shit.

My job is really not difficult, but every fucking c*nt of a client I have to deal with at work makes it more difficult than it needs to be.

Melbourne is rapidly approaching Princess Diana weather season (wearing shorts, but with a nice warm jumper), and I cannot WAIT. Best time of the year.

I try not to complain about fast food establishments too much, because it’s just a futile effort. But every, single, time I go to GYG and order inside for a single burrito, at various different locations, I always have to wait more than 10-15 minutes for a single fucking burrito. Make it make sense!

I’m gonna eat my bowl of pantry pasta slop, rip the fattest drag of my w*ed vape and just spend my evening completely zooted on the couch.

Client who I have not heard piddly boo from in over a year, emails me wants “ask some questions”, insists it must be a phone call because it would be easier, has now wasted three emails worth of my time, when she could’ve just constructed one email with the questions she had, and be done with it.

Stonemasons truly astound me. The fact that someone looked at the two slabs, and went “the grain direction of these two slabs side by side is absolutely correct and not in any way wrong” and then proceeded to install it. Incredible display of no brains, or no care.

Thank you Department of Employment and Workplace Relations 🫡 🤑

There’s a certain March of 2020 je ne sais quoi in the air with *gestures broadly* everything going on.

Royal commission into why affluent freestanding weatherboard house owners in the inner-most northern suburbs insist on planting Eucalyptus caesia (silver princess) into the tiniest front yards, and almost always underneath power lines so they can’t grow properly and look like dogshite 😪

This comment under an ABC article about a bridge being closed due to it cracking (and being 200 years old) has me ????????¿ “Can we bring back convict labour”. Jesus fucking Christ.