Unfortunately for the man who tried to approach me in the pharmacy line, I have the Lyra Silvertongue gene. Good luck to him in his online search this afternoon for a woman who does not exist

Ooooh the backs of my knees are furious

Moved up to the next level in pole so look out bitches I am going to try out the VOMITRON

Looked in the mirror during my workout today and had the involuntary thought, "these are the thighs of an anime character"

Someone is very demanding this morning

Today is bound and determined to make me burst into tears

Today is miserable, I just wanna be at home under the blankets 😖

I need some choker necklaces STAT

I've come up with a handy pros and cons list for anyone on the fence about adoring me

As a parasite enthusiast, this admin has been great for finally having people want to hear about my niche knowledge instead of covering their ears and shouting GROSS GROSS GROSS at me

Okay I am for sure watching Stick It tonight. Long overdue for a rewatch, gotta get all my Joanne-isms locked back in

Shocking developments at my first pole class: the instructor said that I actually didn't look awkward at all after like 3 tries at a move, AND there are points in my videos where I actually look???? Sexy????

Watching back the videos from my aerial classes has revealed that what I think my feet are doing and what they're actually doing are often different things entirely

Very productive afternoon: I traced pattern pieces for a dress AND finished taking in a skirt! Tonight, I'll cut out the tracings and make any final alterations, then start another mendable

Second raise of the year today, bby

ANOTHER poem???? I'm going to have a whole damn collection if this keeps up

Forgot to post it last night but I managed to fix the issues with my toile!!!

Concert tickets: bought Hotel: booked All I need to do now is make a top to wear; I'm thinking a sheer crop top of some kind. Just need to decide what fabric to use and pick a color

Sometimes my therapist asks me questions that I do get why he needs to ask but at the same time wow how insulting, do I LOOK LIKE a delulu bitch baby (well probably, but still)

My mom is in the hospital and they don't know what's wrong so are keeping her overnight in case it's her heart. This fucking sucks

Me, delusional: nah I won't take out my contacts, what if someone wants to video chat, I need to stay cute

Good news: I'm still very, very hot

Got invited to a bbq last minute by our landscaper and turns out this guy lives in a giant colonial full of ancient furniture and gorgeous architectural details. I have never been so jealous in my entire life

Sorry to everyone else but the weather gods promised me one perfect weekend this summer. I get to be a roasty-toasty princess and the rest of you can fuck off indoors

I know it's too hot bc the second I stepped outside I let out the most contented sigh of my life. Any time my horrible lizard body thinks it feels nice out, all I hear is how awful everyone else finds it

Took a trapeze class last night and have been positively BUZZING ever since I was born to hang upside down and do flips

Finished my crop top toile last night (yay) and it doesn't fit (boo)

Today is going to be a good day! None of you better fuck this up for me!

I have cowtales and blackberry cider, so it's safe to say I am a very happy woman

I always feel extremely awkward when I see someone (non-family) again after a long time apart; do I go in for a hug? Do I stay three feet away? Will they hate me forever if I choose wrong?

Spending every evening in the backyard playing with a volleyball or soccer ball with Christian has proven to be more soothing to my brain than expected

Anyone interested in seeing and touching my naked body is welcome to come give me a tick check, but unfortunately you will stop finding it sexy when you realize how absolutely covered I am in freckles and moles

Making a crop top and shorts (well, if I have my way, hotpants) next but first I need to throw together a quick and dirty toile. Which is my least favorite step in the world but I know if I don't the crop top will just look like a top. The perils of being short

Now imagining a hot dog bun made out of cinnamon swirl bread and I would like to invest

You could never catch me having a wish go awry. I have a document of wishes worded in such a way to avoid tricksy loopholes. This is bc I am a very normal person with a very normal mind

I love an ice cream shop staffed entirely by teens. Ordered a medium cone and got an extra large

I start learning pole dancing and trapeze today and I'm so excited I'm literally vibrating

Had my one (1) cocktail and now need to fight off the urge to make stupid decisions

It is Ophi's birthday today so he wore his bday bandana to daycare and they put a party hat on him 😭😭😭

Is the sudoku harder this week or am I just running on a sleep deficit + spiraling mentally? The world may never know

Sometimes I forget that I am very strong in comparison to a lot of people bc I always look at, like, professional powerlifters and think "I'm such a weak baby" Then I talk to a normal person and realize. Oh. Right. Lifting well over your bodyweight is NOT the usual baseline

Time for my favorite anecdote from a friend who has been in AI for over a decade: Watson once "forgot" what women are. Dumped all references to clear up space for other info. When my friend pointed this out, no one else thought it was much of an issue. She had to convince them it was worth fixing.

The thing about being an adult in your own home is you can wear whatever you want. You can wear a thin tank top without a bra, a pair of undies, and leg warmers and no one can say anything at all about what a weird series of choices that is

The first scoop of a fresh jar of peanut butter is the closest a human can get to divinity

I often wonder how many people are forever unsure how to spell "tasty" bc Fergalicious misspells it

How does one cocktail get me tipsy now, jfc

My mom isn't feeling well so the joint bday dinner for her and Christian at the fancy tapas place is being postponed to next weekend 😥

It's Christian's bday weekend!!! First date is going to the movies this afternoon

Finally going to have a real summer storm tonight, bless bless bless Aka it'll be hot enough out that I can play in the rain without catching my death

I am writing so much poetry rn it's actually absurd. Meanwhile, my current novel WIP languishes on the typewriter