Raintree Ruckus (@albi.raintreeruckus.com.ap.brid.gy)

What the Hell Was That? Robotech 2017 Welcome to Some Sorta Recap, where you now hear this in a YouTube Announcer Voice and imagine my rantsona in the lower right corner. I don't know, I just thought this up and I've been sitting on this for literal months. Because I really don't do reviews... they're more like my recaps and thoughts. Retroactively, I've added the tag to some past entries that qualify; you can view the tag as "Some Sorta Recap." Let's start this bullshit. * * * Going through my comics, I realized I was missing the last two issues of ROBOTECH: Rick Hunter. Now, while I am a die-hard fan of the original MACROSS, I occasionally dive into whatever the hell we (as in, USAsians we) came up with for the series. Besides, that was how I was introduced to this universe. So, intrigued, I use Hoopla to borrow all four at once. And once that was consumed, I poked around to see what else I may have missed. "Fresher and edgier." Oh no. First off, the first impression? Not great. Because I can't stand what they did to Claudia Grant's fucking hair. It's giving Amber from Invincible and I am embarrassed on your behalf. _Honey. What is this?_ I know they're to render the characters in their own style. Depending on the artist, it could either endear to me quick or it'll grow on me. So not only was this the secret third option of "I simply loathe and will never accept this," _but you fuck up my girl's hair?!_ It has been depicted as afro-textured since it aired on TV. Yes, it was the subtle bare-minimum bumpy afro look, but subsequent toys and most appearances made it abundantly clear that she's rockin' kinky hair. And. You know. She's fuckin' Black, hunty. It's called a context clue. And I'll just link to She's Fantastic page about Grant's action figure, because they have the deets. Me ranting to my girlfriend about this. And some of their covers actually got it right! Why was it so hard to have her real hair in the actual comic!? Later, her hair becomes more... palatable. But it still ain't right so I'm still salty about it. If you're gon' fuck it up, at least make it look decent. I'm coming after the colorist, too. Explain to me why Henry Gloval looks like– _that_. ANYWAY HE'S PALE AS FUCK AND HE SHOULD NOT BE The fukkin OG (and current avatar on Discord).I DON'T KNOW THIS NIGGA Editor's Note: So about those two points– if you're mad that I brought that up (_and_ ain't Black on toppa that) just shut the fuck up. I ain't got time for you. Read some other shit. Anyway. I got one more thing for you, and I do admit I'm just petty at this point: THEY CUT MAX STERLING'S HAIR. I did a double- and triple-take despite him and Ben Dixon being formally introduced, by name. If they had also given him a dye job I would have been beside myself. He grew it out by Issue 14 but until then __I didn't know that nigga either!__ So anyway. Who is responsible for this fucking nonsense!? More importantly, what the hap is fuckening? Let's find out, together. In fact, I'm so attracted to this mess we're strapping in for the whole thing! I got time to kill since I got an "A" in "Doing All The Household Chores Ahead of Schedule." I am truly winning here. Also, this is not a review. I don't do reviews. I do _recaps_. I tell ya what happens and my thoughts about it. That's totally, _totally_ different, you see. **!!! SPOILER WARNING !!!** * * * ## Titan Comics Yeah, they did this thing. Glad that's settled! ## ROBOTECH: IYKYK I was all meh about the whole thing until it became apparent that there's gonna be some... diverging from the story I'm familiar with. Like having Gloval unceremoniously killed off during the SDF-1's maiden transformation. (OR WAS HE? du-du-duuuuun!) 📌 He's whitewashed and dead... but my girl made Captain! Backing up a bit, the story kicks off as thus: We flashback to the battle fortress crash landing on the islands (more on that later), and flashforward 10 years after *that* to its maiden flight as the SDF-1. We have our first major deviation as Roy is a dick and has Rick arrested for trespassing. However, he still needs to escape those handcuffs just in time for the booby trap to activate. Fate demands he finds himself in a Veritech to fumble around, givng Lisa a curveball and pissing off Minmei-with-a-bat. Minmei with a bat. So, that's their Meet Cute moment. They top it off like they do in the original series: get Folded with the SDF-1 to just around Pluto, crash land through a hole to bumble about, is stuck twelve days and dragged the _whole_ tuna from the cold void of space, this time. Anything for sushi! Honestly? I would, too. We've had quite the list of minute changes throughout this run, and different takes on this-and-that. I am tempted to itemize every single one, because I'm a Virgo but that's fun only for me. Besides, once the duo get rescued things start to go _Off the Fuckin' Rails_ and that's _much_ more interesting. ### Minmei and Rick We deal with Rick Hunter coping with optic trauma, as a treat. He gets some cool shit out of it, at least– thanks to him being exposed to Protoculture as they were rattling around the SDF's hull. It gives him a "new" way of seeing and interfacing with Robotech, which comes in clutch quite a few times. (You can't perceive this image unless you're interfaced with Robotechnology.) Minmei's powers surface much later, and her voice is Compelling, literally, to the Zentradi; _yack deculture!_ They obey her commands and tell the truth if asked any questions (which is super convenient). Despite this power via plot reasons, the blue lettering and emphasis doesn't appear until _after_ her Macross Has Talent win. It's repeatedly shown that not only is she talented in her own right, but she has the passion to back it up. In fact, she is so focused on her career that she does not reciprocate the kiss Rick gives her. BEAT IT, NERD Why bring any of that up? Because with their powers combined... they save the world and then some. Any reason to have these two goofy kids still get together somehow, even if it's just one-sided pining for a few panels. "Did we read the same fanfic?!" Rick and Minmei start having shared dreams, and realize that they're _connected_.📌 ### The Not-Rival: Lynn Kyle _No_ , Minmei and Kyle don't kiss. Stop asking about that. He's still an annoying shadow, though, and hates Rick's guts and the concept of war. He takes it out on the Minmei Stalker Trio as they try to sneak backstage once. Kevin Smith voice: "NO TICKET." He's not important this time around, moving on. ### Lisa and Rick We shouldn't have worried. They're still endgame. We touch the rails again in Issue 5, as SDF-1 checks out the rigged Mars Base. This time, Kyron acts against Breetai's wishes with the gravity snare. (And if getting bested by Micronians wasn't humiliating enough, he also gets roughed up and put in time out for awhile.) The beats were hit with their variations, and soon enough we're on that fated and fraught expedition (but this time, it's a second trip back to Mars) where they are captured by "The Aliens." They really love their Mars traps this time around. The comic also fakes us out by having Rick lose his eyesight completely– but remember, good thing he has those powers, huh? He soon learns to use it to his advantage, including getting the jump on the Zentradi as they fight their way out. But first. Endgame Couple have their first real bonding moment after they manage to escape their captives with Max's help. They have a heart-to-heart chat and an almost-kiss. NO NO NOT YET Don't worry, they will eventually! And it just kinda... happens? We don't see any of the slow burn as in the original show (and Robotech), so it feels kinda outta left field. By Issue 19 you could be forgiven if you didn't see it coming... but Issue 20 reminds you that they're love interests by doing the Big Damn Kiss after the SDF-1 shoves their cannons up Dolza's backside. "ugh look at them kissing __and__ having careers." But yeah. Issue 21 has Lisa's cast box declare that she and Rick are in love. But I wasn't buying it. There seemed to be a lot more chemistry between the platonic relationship between Minmei and Rick. They also have the shared experience of _gaining superpowers,_ so I guess that couldn't be helped. But yeah, this one just kinda... happens. They're together. I guess. Yes, we know it's inevitable, but this was just no fun. ### The Lost Love: Karl Riber force ghost force ghost As Lisa walked around the Mars base during the first visit, she stumbled upon Karl's final vlog, declaring that there was some shady shit going on– there was even a hologram pointing her where she needed to look. Rick, with his ocular issues, arrived almost too late to the party but still managed to rescue her... and a book of Karl's for more answers. That may have something to do with that space-time rupture where the SDF-1's fold generators should be... Oh, and he shows up again because remember, we're _Off the Fucking Rails_. 📌 ### Miriya and Max There's another major deviation when the crew is captured, too: The M&Ms meet a little earlier than scheduled. And Max "Motherfucking Genius" Sterling gets fuckin' _bodied_. Instead of just getting sucked out of a hull breach, Miriya wrecked his shit so bad he _became_ the hull breach! And as he was unconscious in deep space she walloped him in his dreams for good measure. Serves you right for dreaming her up in that rag, douchebag. All of their fights still happen, but it's never Max that wins outright; each give as good as they get until a third wheel intervenes. Ben gets a lucky shot and is killed for it in Issue 12; Rick uses his new powers to eject Miriya from the SDF-1, and their future child karate chopped her to unconsciousness while wondering how the fuck those two stopped trying to kill each other long enough to procreate. "Can we __not__ do this in front of our future kid, right now?" By story's end the love sparks are definitely not flying. She's in a jail cell and he really doesn't want to get punched again. How they interact from there remains to be seen. Foreshadowing is a literally device-- ### Claudia and Roy To balance _that_ out, these two get a happier ending this time around. But it's not without some major hurdles and conflict. Like Roy getting shot. Don't worry! It was a stun gun. He is Displeased at the results. He is not bested by bullet or pineapple salad this time around. He's only a little knocked out, kidnapped, and replaced by a doppelganger to have a few things explained to him as his imposter sabotages SDF-1's plans. 📌 As his kidnapper monologues at him, Claudia is looking into Gloval's suspicious demise. And it wasn't lookin' good, because the culprit appeared to be Roy himself. Roy Boy Decoy #2 is found out eventually, of course, and pulled a YouTube Censor before he's captured and interrogated. So, for awhile, everyone _thinks_ he turned traitor and died. Hey. They get better. The real one makes a successful bid for freedom and they're reunited by Issue 23. He even gets his famous last words in after Claudia administers CPR. Except he lives! Ain't gonna lie, this made me cry a little. ## We Don't Need Rails Where We're Goin' Besides me, Certified Roy Fanboy, who on earth would want to kidnap him? Uh, this guy. ENHANCE This Lazlo Zand has a PHD in Eeeeevil and dragged a cloning chamber and the Invid into the story. Also, space-time travel. Because _this_ SDF-1 can do that. ... Yeah. Once Roy woke up in Zand's Inner SDF-1 Evil Base, the scientist told him about the _true_ story of the battle fortress. Hey: _I_ already told you. _The thing can also space-time travel._ And for some reason Zand wants to be the main character and have the universe revolve around him. Okay, that's uncharitable. His exact words are "Could we not hone a single, realigned singularity, with _us_ at its very center?" But tell me that isn't Main Character energy! "But, what about the damn clones?" Yeah so... okay:_to distract the military from his time-space shenanigans, Zand gives them a cloning device so they can clone Roy thanks to him going "yeah sure 23andMe and the military are fine I guess" so they can have a bunch of talented pilots at their disposal._ Which is a wild thing to say because Max Sterling is _right there_ , but maybe they were working up to it (after Rick Hunter). They gotta have Roy elevated in the plot so they can justify keeping him alive in this continuum, I guess. Then he summons the Invid as a distraction because of course he does. He also needs them for his Evil Plan. What is it? Fuck if I remember. Oh yeah and Gloval is back, too (as a clone). Hah, I knew they didn't have the balls to stick with it! He helps Roy out and they both defeat the mad doctor by getting a door open and he promptly skedaddles out of the story. Ariana Grande said that once. After getting that last petty quip in, let's move on. ## ROBOTECH: IYKYK 2 So remember the three Zentradi folx Kyle beat the shit out of and they confessed about their mission the moment Minmei demanded "What the fuck yo?" in that Compelling Voice? No? I kinda skipped over that. But it happened. That plot development was instrumental in turning the tide. Because it gave her an idea... Before they executed her theory, though, things happened: * Dolza and Earth (Command Center vs. Grand Cannon) trade blows and heavy casualties * Roy Boy Clone bites the dust * Azonia and Kyron planned a mutiny as they lurked in the shadows, then just lay low for awhile (can't really blame them) * Some Zentradi shrunk themselves to request asylum aboard the SDF-1 * and Miriya is among them, hellbent on killing "Maxsterling" once she was done piloting their ship * the Invid fucked up shit * the SDF-1 is also doing fucked up shit, thanks to... * the space-time breach within and * and * The omni-directional forcefield did not explode; instead the excess energy was shunted into Invid space– and they are _pissed_. 📌 I may have gotten some things jumbled up pre- or post- Dolza Defeat, but trying to keep it straight made me crosseyed. Shit gets wild and what do you want from me, an outline of this shit!? (Yes– but I'm not gonna.) So. Our favorite singer had a wild idea that just might (and did) work. All she had to do was hold Rick's hands as they both tapped into the Protoculture, hijack the Zentradi's radio signals, and sing. This time, alien strangers aren't won over by the power of song and culture. They're just magically compelled to GTFO. How... anticlimatic. ### And Then What? We find ourself in a nice, several-months long timeskip. Considering the fact that OG Earth was reduced to barren rock, a few major cities getting nuked is a slap on the wrist. But you know how humanity is; we spring back up in no time. * Kyle is Minmei's manager; he gets like, 4 panels or something * Miriya lurking around stealing from the SDF-1's arsenal * Max is being a punkass tourist in Hawaii and haunted by his asswhupping with his douchebag glasses * Remember, mad Invid * Roy breaks free and escapes around this point, for the record. aw who cares, let us get to the _really good stuff._ ## I Told You, We Don't Need Rails! I'll make it clear, here, that Roy was already cagey about the whole SDF-1 situation. In canon, he was always more in the know about the whole Zentradi thing, as most of that was top secret from the general public anyway. But during this run we get a lot more than "we fight really big alien dudes, actually." When the battle fortress made its debut Roy, along with a few others, gained clearance to investigate. And they saw an older crew– including an _Admiral_ Rick Hunter– dead among the rubble. That's a pretty big secret to keep to your chest. No wonder he was kind of a jerk when Rick showed up in the first issue– a misguided attempt at trying to protect him from his perceived fate. So when Captain Hayes (distracted by their kiss, of course) ferries him to this mysterious tube with a girl in it to use his Robotechnology Whispering, it doesn't come as a surprise that we glimpse an older version of himself, expressing how important her mission is before sending her off. And that brings us to... ### Here Comes a New Character! (Several, Actually) The arrival of **Dana Sterling** also comes with some much-needed exposition. Despite being late by about a decade, she's still able to aid with this Invid Problem. She traveled back years into the past to help our heroes save all possible futures! And of course, only those of the "Prime" continuity can do this. (Hey... do you hear that? That's the gears of Multiverse Crossover about to start. They start purring when Dana sloshes out of her cyro-tube, and they'll really kick in when we need it most.📌) "Damn, who hurt you?" "The Invid." "Oh right, right..." **Karl Riber** survived Mars Base... because he was stranded on the Invid's home planet. They were researching Shadow Technology before a stray bullet touched off a chain reaction– mostly lethal, but some people were just... _displaced_. As the Invid first appeared Riber managed to hitch a ride "back." He's now a one man army after having fought them for years on their own turf. He is crucial for intel and support as the Invid begin raiding alternative Earths, including this one. I should write something on that forehead. The **Invid Regress** wants all this Protoculture energy from every multiverse in existence so she can grow her Flower of Life. Also pretty mad about the (albeit accidental) wrecking of her home planet, so she plans to punish the humans with the "Over-Mind" fused with our tech and hers. We love a multi-tasking Boss Bitch, ne? But. Wait. You may be confused, if you're familiar with the source material. If the Invid Regress is the final lap big bad... What about the canon/original one(s)? ### BTW: Azonia and Kyron One's serving cunt (Azonia), and one __is__ a cunt (Kyron). Alex Ronald did a great job on this cover, too. Easily my favorite one. He was a boy (who has a grudge against the Micronians), she was a girl (who is ambitious). Can I make it any more obvious? _They scheme together,_ duh! Until... It only took the common enemy of the Invid invading to get them on Earth's side. Long after you probably forgot about them, they fold in and provide the SDF-1 with much-needed reinforcements in the 11th hour. Even better? They live to tell the tale. ## The Last of It Okay, okay, there's a bit more to Regress. She also has Shadow Technology at her disposal, and that is how all of her plans are in motion. ... Just kidding, that's all we got according to our two favorite psychically linked peeps. "Broooooo people write throuple fanfic about us!?" And with this knowledge, they kick off the final battle. The SDF-1 deliberately pisses her off _again,_ as a big enough distraction for our key characters to infiltrate her base and shut everything down. I'm only showing Breetai here because we've seen everyone else's mug by now. ### !! EVENT HORIZON !! As promised, the Multiverse Crossover does happen in a glorious orgy of name announcements and cool poses. When hope all seemed lost, Minmei and Rick use their Wonder Twin Powers to summon what we all came here for: **LOADS OF BADASS CHARACTERS TO KICK SOME ASS** NO, I'm not showing that badassery. Have this instead! Or maybe I should. It's literally the only badass panel we get... As Queen of the bugs gets her ass handed to her off-page (yeah, I know, wtf), we get one more _tweest_ before this battle ends. They meet their objective of disabling the One-Mind thing– Minmei telling them to get lost, but leave the Shadow Tech manuals first... Deuces! She disappears. ... I think? (She's back 4 panels later, arms akimbo, just whatever. Don't know what that was about.) _Whatever we don't have time for that, we got some weddings to plan!_ Generally, it's looking good, too. Corporation between races! Boundaries to not cross! Task forces to create! True Loves to unite! Probably. scheming meanwhile And we're left with this inspiring quote: > ...But we saw, ultimately, we had been handed a second change few get. To craft a different future... a **better** future. ## Final Thoughts I should try to put more words to this than _"what in the kentucky fried fuck was that?"_ But damn, you know what? I'm not gonna. I have nothing constructive, just snark. And if you're here for constructive criticism... well, that was your mistake. I fucking warned you. Snark aside, I do love a good alternative/what if story. Emphasis on good. Whether it's bias from me never shaking off that first impression, or them just dropping the ball... it just ultimately didn't click with me. "Sir! No smoking on the bridge! Or in jail!" But hey, there's some good things about it! Did you count that? That was _two weddings!!_ And Roy is not dead!! And Rick and Minmei have that BFF Superpower energy which is a pretty nice twist. And everyone showing up near the end there was pretty epic. If only they had more breathing room so we could actually _see_ them all be badass– they only had one spread– it would have made it all worth it. Probably. Would I _recommend_ it? ... ... ... _I dunno._ It's a Robotech joint. Playing fast and loose with Macross canon– when it's not doing its own thing– is kinda it's schtick; Titan Comics definitely had the spirit. It's got interesting takes, for better or for worse. ### The Not-Rating "Whatever." Same, girl, same. ### Loose Ends So what happens after that? Is there more? Well, yes. _Curtain Call_ was a side story printed alongside the final act of this series. But since that's to be recapped and continued elsewhere, I guess we gotta find out more about it in... _Robotech Remix?!_ Dana Sterling is About to Shoot You But it's only four issues. I think. What can possibly go wrong? https://raintreeruckus.com/what-the-hell-was-that-robotech-2017/