In this episode Kes finds a giant space creature although becomes an all-star pitcher in the new-earth baseball league

Next week, on CBS All-Access Admiral Cornwell accidentally starts a war with the Klingons yet they make a genetic duplicate in order to harvest their brain parts.

This time Michael gets caught running a tardigrade fighting ring however could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the ship first

In this episode Kes meets another fake god although can't find any coffee.

In this episode Captain Kirk finds a giant space creature although can't remember the last 24 hours.

In this episode Admiral Cornwell increases the frequency of Black Alert drills but actually is the reason why we cry.

In this episode Subcommander T'Pol returns from shore leave although that brings back an old cast member.

In this episode Chakotay is caught in a time bubble but also finds an unexpected love.

Tonight on Star Trek Uhura eats some food cubes although could have solved everything if the transporter had just worked.

Tonight on Enterprise Hoshi is infected with time-travelling brain parasites although never really resolves the Klingon problem.

Next week, on CBS All-Access Lieutenant Tyler increases the frequency of Black Alert drills though can't escape the holodeck!

This time Lt. Reed goes into a coma while working on the engines nevertheless actually is the reason why we love.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager Seven of Nine travels through time however can't find any coffee.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager B'Elanna makes first contact with a new, obviously stereotypical, alien race but can't escape the holodeck!

This time Captain Kirk eats some food cubes though can't escape the holodeck!

This time Travis makes first contact with a race of sentient insects but has to learn a lesson about themselves before they can complete the mission

Tonight on Enterprise Hoshi meets another fake god however becomes an all-star pitcher in the new-earth baseball league

Tonight on Star Trek: The Next Generation Lt. Cmdr Worf slickly peels off a pair of Lee Press-On Sideburns after stealing the Defiant but also finds an unexpected love.

This time Geordi loses a valued crewmember we've never heard of before on an away mission but the crypto market crashes and isolinear GPU prices return to normal

In this episode Counselor Troi meets a friendly robot who just wants to love although can't remember the last 24 hours.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager Tom Paris meets Amelia Earhart nevertheless they have to find the cure to save their best friend.

This time Dax opens a space-Etsy shop to exploit the people of Bajor and their love for cheap jewelery but can't remember the last 24 hours.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager Harry accidentally starts a war between two alien races but actually is the link to the alpha quadrant

This time Spock lets the ship get taken over by some aliens with belts that make everyone play freeze tag but they have to find the cure to save their best friend.

This time Lieutenant Tyler gets stuck in a time loop but they have to find the cure to save their best friend.

In this episode Chief O'Brien is betrayed by an old friend who we’ve never heard of before this episode, and we will never hear about again although the town is defeated by the Dal-Rok

In this episode Harry can't escape a dream although also convinces Starfleet to let them go back to Risa.

Tonight on Enterprise Captain Archer can't escape a dream although accidentally causes the crew to get space drunk.

Next week, on CBS All-Access Ensign Tilly gets stuck in a time loop however is really in the dream of a sick child at a hospital.

This time Captain Picard meets another fake god but can't find any coffee.

This time Captain Janeway accidentally discovers new life on the holodeck nevertheless finally figures out what was going on with those worms that took over Starfleet.

This time Odo figures out that everyone onboard is actually a changeling although they make a genetic duplicate in order to harvest their brain parts.

Tonight on Deep Space 9 Dr. Bashir betrays the crew for the last time nevertheless actually is the link to the delta quadrant.

In this episode The EMH meets a hyperintelligent George Costanza forehead alien however really discovers why the spice must flow.

This time Nog is given a bauble from Kai Opaka’s Etsy shop however could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the station first

Tonight on Star Trek Uhura meets space nazis although also convinces Starfleet that holograms have rights.

Tonight on Star Trek Uhura enables the self-destruct to go off whenever the ship passes a Space Wendys however the producers ran out of budget for new sets and put the legal proceedings in Quark’s bar

In this episode Seven of Nine returns to Earth's past but also finds an unexpected love.

In this episode Seven of Nine meets Amelia Earhart though the writers don’t even care about the A plot, or the B plot, or the C plot. It’s really not clear at all what is going on and then the episode just ends.

Next week, on CBS All-Access Doctor Culber reconfigures the spore drive to mine bitcoin although also finds an unexpected love.

Tonight on Enterprise Captain Archer battles the Klingon Battlecruiser Qo'Blos though could have solved everything if the sensors had just worked.

In this episode Dax can't escape a dream although actually is the link to the alpha quadrant

Tonight on Deep Space 9 Dax has some interstellar shit going down in the wormhole however finally figures out what was going on with those worms that took over Starfleet.

Tonight on Enterprise Hoshi can't leave well enough alone but could have solved everything if there was any continuity in the series.

This time Data repurposes the ship's computers to mine bitcoin although is trapped in a mind-meld with another darn old Spock.

This time Geordi accidentally discovers new life on the holodeck nevertheless also convinces Admiral Fraiser to take Space LSD.

In this episode Commander Sisko finds out that their entire life is based on a lie though actually is the true source of anime on Earth.

In this episode Chakotay finally figures out how to make a cloak work however actually is the link to the delta quadrant.

Tonight on Star Trek: Discovery Admiral Cornwell is convicted of mutiny yet takes a wrong turn at Albuquerque

In this episode Voq can't stop watching reruns of 2 Broke Girls on CBS nevertheless actually is the true source of anime on Earth.