made it five minutes into my monday before my coworker had to tell an old lady not to manhandle me

good morninggggg

“this could all be yours” *gestures to empty restaurant* “did you just mufasa me?”

can do

“you’re just the opposite of everything”

abe’s exoddus ass eighth

one thing we’re gonna do is laugh about it

🩷💐

thanks for the lesson and something to learn from. that’s how we’re looking at all the shit and moving on

back to choosing peace cuz that ain’t it

i guess some people can handle shit better than others

#tellmelies is so good and also so triggering i’ve lived this already

🐶💤💖

🦜💕

“she talks?” 😭

post vegas be like

“that’s your dinner? dressing?”

as soon as you meet me you’ll wish that you never did

merry christmas eveeee i am very loved

🎄🐶

😬🎄✨

every police interaction i have happens in my pajamas that’s so great

🐬🆙

👻🎬🍂🎨

post concert in n out >>>

expensive day 😫

“i don’t know who hurt you, ma’am, but it wasn’t me” -tire guy

best frienddd🧡🐾

😅

girl lunch

don’t be so scared to take a second for reflection, to take a leave of absence, see what you’re made of

even got me chicken tenderssss 😭🥰

my dad is loving his teams offseason choices

be careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it all

doink in for the win lol

i think she watched the ring 😱 #dogsofbluesky

it’s the glance in the rearview can’t stay stuck there…onward ho

i love my life is a thing that’s happening?

my mom gets it

no i don’t wonder why i’m single

there was a scratcher machine in the dive bar which i got overly excited about and dude next to me goes “i don’t gamble but i could buy you dinner or flowers or…” & i’m like “…or more lotto tickets??”

she groaned at me because i am wrapping her christmas present too loudly apparently #dogsofbluesky

*trying to understand the lore of past family heirlooms* “it was on sale, that’s the story”

what point of leftovers are you at? just had thanksgiving egg rolls

always where i’m meant to be

“i’m not the good guy, i’m the bad guy” (duh)

(watching a movie called ‘the beekeeper’) “wait, he’s really a beekeeper?” lmaoo

🕹️

no saved drafts here? that’s probably best it’s just me crying