happy birthday to my favorite son who i am wishing on time because i absolutely did not forget his birthday because he is my favorite son and i love my one and only son that is not an utter disappointment and i would never forget his birthday happy birthday *checks hand* gilbert

ooc. sbr wooo!

why don’t you make me shut up?

my heart no longer beats. but my teeth still chew.

in a bad way. you will be in pain.

i will eat it.

I will be first place once I emasculate you with my teeth.

Obviously I am not insecure about it. I am quite proud of it.

close your eyes

i am so in love with this unintelligent american. i gave vanilla ice a cowboy hat because i missed hol horse. i disgust myself.

I want you eviscerated. ( gives hol one brief goofy and lovesick grin before forcing a more angry expression onto his face. )

there is a trolley. there are 2 paths. on one path, 1 hol horse is on the rails. on the other path, 5 hol horses are on the rails. the trolley is on the path with 5 hol horses. you could pull a lever to run over the 1 hol horse instead. or you could make the trolley drift & take out all 6 hol horses

ooc. my dio is single shipped ^^

ooc. thinking about this again … he’s perfect for it … i should at least make dio do his makeup like this …

someone stole my pants. vanilla ice, if it was you, i am going to gut you and display you in a common room to make an example out of you. i will make petshop eat your liver every day.

ooc. dio irl fc. hear me out.

watching rupaul’s drag race. thinking about how he could do everything so much better.

Yes. Which is why we shall name him Alfred Giorno-2 Brando Oh so now you listen to me … Vanilla Ice “loves on” me all the time, whenever I am not with you. ( I’m never not with you, but that is not the point. )

Who said he’s your son? No. But that is because Hol Horse is the most ridiculous name to ever have been created. One Hol Horse is embarrassing enough, a Hol Horse and a Hol Horse Junior would be far too absurd for this world.

( he follows after, unable to stay away from hol for too long ) is there something wrong with Giorno 2? i think it is a wonderful name. perhaps DIO jr, if they are not completely useless, unlike most of my children.

. . . charles is a good name. but i supposed i can settle for giorno 2.

hol horse i swear to DIO! that if you do not go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich RIGHT NOW, i am naming your son charles.

i am HUNGRY.

sandwich. for your beautiful wife. go.

get them yourself. YOU are making ME a sandwich. if i wanted to run around my mansion for beans, i would make my own sandwich. what kind of husband cannot even make his beautiful and pregnant wife a sandwich without help.

when did sandwiches get so complicated. back in my day we didn’t have “cold cuts”. sandwiches were two pieces of bread with beans in between them.

make me a plain sandwich.

make me a sandwich.

he is good enough. at least my dear vanilla ice actually listens to me, unlike my so called husband.

spit it out and lay with vanilla ice.

i will chew it clean off.

i lack a gag reflex, but have exceptionally sharp teeth. do you really want to challenge me, my beloved?

say that again and i will make it disappear.

if you leave i will find a way to kill myself and write your name in my suicide letter. ahem, i mean. do not leave. you are still of use to me.

i could quite literally last until the end of time without you, hol horse. though, it would be rather quiet with you in another room … ah, not that your constant chattering would be missed.

you are sleeping on the couch for the rest of our eternal lives.

the feds, my dear. they got me. arrested me for. being too handsome.

darliiing guess who’s back from jaaail