Did the investigation for the Zodiac Killer ever get as far as Joe from Guess Who?

Why does the referee feel like he needs to speak to the players during the penalty shootout? What have you possibly got to say? "Here, son. There's a dot painted on the floor right here. That's where the ball goes.

People are thinking about penalties too much. Just fucking run up and smack it.

No problems with the big refereeing decisions tonight but a lot of massive cunt energy from the referee tonight. In my opinion.

Watching High Noon. I feel like these two share a lot of the same energy.

This is why I love pigeons. You can put whatever anti-pigeon measures in place that you like and a pigeon will still give you the middle feather and make it's crappy little nest right there.

The good thing about getting old is that I've seen it all before at this point. Approaching this game with relative calm. What will be, will be. Come on you Irons.

As teachers on half term, this will be a daily discussion my wife and I have this week.

Just caught up with the DfE/Gemma Collins unpleasantness. I guess it's easier for them to hire a celebrity to try to convince people they're doing a good job than it is to actually do a good job.

He's clearly in need of a new challenge. He'll love it at the London Stadium.

Fuck off Celtic.

I've actually got a dentist appointment tomorrow at 2.30. What a tremendous feeling.

You cannot convince me that this is the sort of conclusive proof upon which relegations and championships are decided.

In all seriousness, this is the sort of thing that utterly ruins the experience of going to a game. If we'd lost 1-0 with no controversy you could leave the game feeling like the team had given it their best shot and fallen short. That's how I *was* feeling.

I'm proper raging. I want a full audit of all the officials' finances. You can't convince me, with all the billions being thrown around in this game, that there's no chance some of these cunts are on the take.

West Ham 0 Cheating 1

The best way to spend a bank holiday weekend; having a snooze on the sofa while the snooker is on.

Fucking Brentford, man. Proper bogey team. Luckily we've got a guaranteed 3 points against Arsenal next week.

The kissing scenes Something Very Bad is Going to Happen be like

Hurriedly deleting anything negative I might have posted about the Callum Wilson signing last summer. I was always confident in the success of that transfer.

Everyone at London Stadium seems remarkably relaxed or are at least very good at masking their emotions. I'm shitting myself.

Post your favourite film from the year you turned 18

Just posting a picture of a bunch of bottles. No reason.

Those Castellanos goals reminded me a lot of Michail Antonio. Never confident he was going to score up until the very moment the ball crossed the line.

SPURS IN THE MUD

😭

I'm so glad I'm not there tonight because this is shit

Watching Something Bad is Going to Happen. When you don't make any of your characters likeable it really makes for a frustrating watch.

Excited for Finn Herrick. No pressure on him but what a story if he's the hero.

Proper tears at the end of Toy Story 3. Thought I'd be immune by now.

Happy Mother's Day

This is what happens to me every day at school when the kids come back in after lunch. Every single one of them got something to say. "I hurt my knee" "My tooth is wobbly" "Did you know it's my birthday on Saturday"

😎

That didn't look like a team that wants to be relegated.

Nuno to Wan-Bissaka before the game: "Aaron, you're really good at doing step-overs and back-heels and shit so make sure you do something like that literally every time you get the ball."

I loathe Guardiola for the shit he inflicts on the Premier League. I can't stand watching Man City play. Like a bunch of school playground bullies playing keep-away from some little kids.

While I understand the sentiment she is trying to express, I actually don't think it would be an abandonment of her principles if Shania Twain allowed herself to be really quite impressed by a rocket scientist.

I remember that we were quite strongly linked with Kinsky in the January window, with a suggestion that Hermansen would go the other way. Probably worked out for the best.

It would be very childish and a waste of an evening to spend the next few hours looking up people making Spurs jokes.

I'm just noticing that Americans say "sports" sometimes instead of simply "sport" and all of a sudden Donald Trump is only the second worst thing about that place.

Another confident result, never in doubt. That's how you do that, people.

Thrilled that daughter is following somewhat in my footsteps by doing stupid shit like this and finding herself extremely funny.

God, Chelsea are cunts. Proper cunts.

How I arrived on Bkuesky

God, can you imagine if we stay up and Spurs get relegated? Can you *imagine* how that would feel?

Set fire to daughter's Tudor house today. It was quite spectacular.

It's that time of year again. Out with my parents and my daughter, helping toads and newts to cross the road. It's a busy month for people who like helping amphibians get laid.

Pathetic of Donald Trump to try to win us all over by doing an (admittedly very good) impression of beloved percussionist Evelyn Glennie. It's not gonna work, you dick.