Do I look buff yet? #gainer

Turkey tastes like a desert threw up on a chicken.

I feel like doing a human vore morph. If anyone wants one, reply a pic to this status and I might pick yours. Final result will be posted to @kaejer-vore-morphs.bsky.social

What if the tooth fairy except for kidney stones.

Do orcs and dorks come from the same common ancestor?

Who needs toilet paper when your toilet has a tongue?

Cover all AI data centers with Nickelodeon slime.

If you don't use conditioner on your eyebrows you're basically a squonk.

McDoubles will become the new currency after the apocalypse.

Genies give 3 wishes so you’d have plenty to wish for grass to moan whenever someone steps on it.

Putting your feet inside crocs is fashionable or kinky.

Why shoot fish in a barrel when you could shoot barrels at a fish?

The ussy era came too late for us to all be using USBussies.

The crazy thing about f̵̲̝̳͖̘͓̣̳̫̬̥͓͕̤̾̓͐̿̍͂͑a̴͔̺͆̎̇͑̈̈́̕͝͝t̴̪͐͒̊̑̏̉̈́̚ ̵͙̼̘̱̹́̀̀͑͌̏̈́͐̎̂̈́̌̇̇͝b̶̧̨̳̳͓̫͓͍̤̣͕̥̲͍̈̌̑̂́̉̍́̂̚͜͝ȩ̷̢̡̣̘͉̺̩̬̙̹̲͍̍̂͊͗̑͊́̾̈́̍͋͝͝ͅͅl̶̼̱̝̙̼̞͓̄̀͋l̷̡̡̰̼̼͈͍̙͚̮͇̹̚ͅi̴̹̟͕̤̫̼̐̔͜e̶͍̹̲͎̻̍͊̃s̷̨̝͇͔̬͙̤̲͍͉̈́ is that they're ă̷̢͚̖̥̪̜̠̭̘̏͊͝w̸̜̤͓̣̯͖̹͇̪͚̙̻̒̇͌͜ͅȩ̷̨̟͙̜̯̮̞̟̤̮͎͔͉͊͐̉͋̿̃̌́̾̇̂̚͘͠͝ͅs̴̢̧̤̺̗͇͉̘͖͔͍̮̱̟͋̍̎̽͒̓͒̓̅̚͜ǫ̷̛̫̗̬͈͍̙̘̺͖͍̇̄̊̈́̈́̐͜m̷̡̧̯͈͔̰̻̣̣̲͇̂͛̊̀̋̆͗́̕̚ę̶̨͆̉͛́͋̋̉.

Donuts have holes but donut holes have no holes.

Bluesky is a lie, it's Miragesky.

If he talks too much just buy him more snacks.

If you have rose earrings they are technically ear buds.

I want a cyberpunk gun that makes people fatter when I shoot them.

Subs are basically long sandwiches, which would make a meatball sub a meatball longboi.

The existence of laptops implies the existence of lapbots.

Mathematically, Quest 64 is 8 times as good as Final Fantasy 8.

Vore origin story:

Standing is such bullshit, what moron invented that?

The quickest way to an Earthbussy is by knowing Giygas.

If you don't have someone to celebrate Valentine's with this year, find a person wearing MAGA attire and punch them as hard as you can in the stomach.

Hot pockets should be easier to fit in your jeans pocket.

A smash burger is a regular burger that you hit with a bat.

Why would I need to go on American Idol when my bathroom and car think I'm great?

My Snatch Game character would be Hugh Mann the gay homo sapien (not an alien).

How come there are so many two-headed organisms and no two-body organisms?

Capybaras make bara milk.

When I walk through the candle aisle my brain resets to factory settings.

Crabs are just drums that combined with the drummer.

Going to beat someone at Connect Four by throwing Four Loko.

Our future is Water World, except instead of water it's sludge from all the AI data centers. All hail Sludge World.

CW// #vore Wanted to re-animate a scene from "Prince Ivan and the Firebird" featuring two new characters of mine, one made by @kittypanders.bsky.social , Boon the Raccoon! The other, a Sheep, via @ericstripe.bsky.social 's suggestion~ The background music is a snippet from D-Code by Dust Devil!

Have some tum with a small side of bruise

Last tummy tuesday of the year. #gainer

Doing this cause I feel like I wanna be creative in short bursts and don't have the attention span right now to write a whole story. Prompts may be horny.

Does this look like a little weight to you?

vore

Bridge pose. #gainer

Doing a little stretch. #gainer

Some candid photos taken of me. #gainer

I whip my belly back and forth, I whip my belly back and forth. #gainer

Gainers be like I took 10 inches today. The said 10 inches:

I am...shaped hehe