That was an utter shambles. Gifted a bog average team four goals. Never put a hard tackle in the whole game. Never made their goalie make a save. Gutless and shameful really, don't blame anyone for walking out on that.

Ok, someone snap Gordon and it won't be a complete waste of time.😏

🎶Der de de der Der de der... Jordan Pickford, Bag o' Shite 🎶 😄

That's a beautiful goal by KDH. Worth fuck all 🫤

Red card incoming. It has to be. Everything else is fucked, and it's Pawson

What's the fucking point even. Game is stupid.

Ironic goal of the century there for Barry. Good lad.

Makes 2 saves, then fucks up again. Hat-trick Pickford

...that turn of pace from Keane chasing back for the third...🤯 Wet jeans AND rigger boots

Iroegbunam was shite, but so were 6 others, including Pickford who cost 2 goals. Spread the blame where it fairly belongs before flaying a young player.

The fucking state of our left hand side in this game.🤮

This is what happens when they get overpraised for playing well... they phone it in the next game. Gang of shithouses.

Oh fuck right off. That's 2 for Pickford. Jesus Fucking Christ , that's bollocks.

Thats a clear pen on Keane if the lummox had actually gone down screaming like every other oppo player would.

Unlucky that from Keane. COYB

Sorry, that's on Pickford. Reversing back onto his line and didn't even jump. Poor that.

Get revved up for the skunks with this ace video from Terry Finnegan #UTFT youtu.be/1Z-KPMY512s?...

This, of all the clips from last night is the best I've seen... The way Carragher reveals himself, and the interviewer just shuts up and lets him do so, is wonderful 💙💙💙 #YMCA youtu.be/Gyc4CkW1f20?...

Afcon come early for Gana, 3 match ban 🤬

Well, I fully expected the ref to fuck us over somehow - but I did not see that coming.

These bowlers don't look on it at all. Stokes needs to get hold of this ball.

Wetherald looks terrified, like a competition winner. But still looks more secure than England's openers.

Aussie batters LEAVING outside off... Radical.

Hmmm. England's bowlers carrying their useless batters again, maybe.

A home town decision there for the Aussies, to nobody's surprise.

Bollocks. That's where Stokes needs to kick all of the top order who threw their wickets away. Can't see the bowlers saving them this time.🤬

Boland just rolling in, bowling 7th stump and England's finest giving slips catching practice. Utterly stupid, brain dead batting. Embarassing.

Just need Lyon to wear a few, to cap an entertaining first day of the Ashes 🤣

Cricket VAR trying to copy Football VAR, looking for any reason to deny wickets. Piss off with that.

Jesus, Head has been lucky here... He has no idea how to play this bowling

Big target is Green. Pepper his ribs...

Yeerrrss Khawaja, couldn't get out fast enough Come on!!

Yessss. Eff off Smith

Get him hopping around. Buzz his hat early

Khawaja getting his excuses in early, holding his back on the walk out 🤣

Yessss!!!! Jofra. Beauty

Smith having all the luck here (apart from being hit 3 times) Jammy twat.

Yeah, that sound was the foot scraping, not bat. 🫤

Gotta love Physios... Smith smashed in the elbow, they spend 5 minutes poking and twisting the injured area; no magic spray, here's 2 paracetamol. Sake...

Khawaja's done great for England here, exposing Labuschagne and Smith. The dope.

Good start Jofra. Wetherald shat himself.

Hopefully Labuschagne is put off by opening.... 🫣

This Bazball is shite. chucking last 4 wickets for 13 trying to be aggressive is just stupid. My kids U13s have more match state awareness than these knobheads.

Szoboszlai. Unlucky lad 😎 #YMCA

Fuvking Hell !!! Troy Parrott, Evertonian

Red shite gettin ole'd off the pitch 3 nil. Pleasant.

Fulham, the softest of soft touches. Made very hard work of this 🙈

"Moysey's Piss-boil Bingo" I'm going Coleman for O'Brien, no other changes. "Because we felt the team needed a wee bit more experience"

Team for tomorrow: Dropping Tarkowski could rebalance the whole side... JP Garner Jake Keane Myko Gana Rohl KDH Ndiaye Barry Grealish Moyes would rather drink bin juice than drop one of his favourites though 🤬

Another inane press conference from Moyes. And the press who (mostly) act like children in front of the Headmaster. Ask him some 🤬🤬 questions!! When is it time for Rohl?? You sub O'Brien but never Tarky, why?? Whats your issue with Alcaraz?? Why never rotate wingers?? Pickford's 💩kicking??