YouCleanItUp
@youcleanitup.bsky.social
📤 339
📥 239
📝 2446
Commercial? Fuck you commercial, okay?
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The
@neilhamburger.bsky.social
/ Charles Manson connection:
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about 1 year ago
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Reject modernity. Embrace tradition.
about 9 hours ago
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Hell yeah I support LAW enforcement! L. LEGOs A. and W. weed
1 day ago
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Wearing JNCOs to hide my embarrassing toe shoes.
1 day ago
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Hail storms are underrated; you just stick a cup out the window and it's like a free ice machine.
2 days ago
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Betty Crocker? More like Betty-Crock-of-Shit, am I right?
2 days ago
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Scientists have uncovered evidence that Stonehenge was likely a BBQ pit, part of a larger "man cave" complex.
3 days ago
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Sigh... these days I need prescription-strength jelly beans.
4 days ago
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Since stuffed animals aren't alive, if you think about it, Puppy Surprise would have been exactly the same product if all the puppies had been stillborn.
6 days ago
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THIS SUMMER. (singing) Take a look... Nicolas Cage: No... NOOOOO!! (singing) It's in a book... *children scream* (singing) A Dreading Rainbow! Tilda Swinton: Calm down, children. We're almost at the end. DREADING RAINBOW. RATED R. (singing) I can go anywhere...
7 days ago
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TIRED: Strapping on a headset to jack into the "metaverse." WIRED: Shoving beef jerky up your ass to jack into the "meataverse."
7 days ago
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RIP Bud Cort, gone to that great cortroom in the sky.
8 days ago
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Woke is back and they're rebooting "Ranma 1/2" as "Ranma 2/4."
8 days ago
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Sign of the times? Student who carved “FUCK SCHOOL” into desks is now carving “FUND SCHOOL” into desks.
9 days ago
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My horrifying life is brought to you by AXE bloody spray.
9 days ago
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Kind of weird to think that instead of posting on Bluesky I could be jacking off in an Applebee's restroom.
#SponsoredPost
10 days ago
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The NFL needs to cut it out with the divisive halftime shows and stick to its core strength: hot, fit, sweaty young men piling on top of one another, fucking each other's brains out.
11 days ago
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Holy shit! Look who's covering
#Dekkar
! (from Axiom's Instagram)
#OnCinemaAtTheCinema
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11 days ago
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Don't worry Binky, you can always open for Kid Rock!
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
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Got a side gig as a "secret shitter" where I test restaurant bathrooms to see how they handle a toilet clogged with my massive dumps.
12 days ago
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Due to changes in logistics brought on by globalization, the Boxcar Children are now the Shipping Container Children.
13 days ago
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You should only have to breathe when it smells nice.
14 days ago
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Fun fact: In the Star Trek universe, everyone in Starfleet has achieved a level of Clear or higher in Scientology.
14 days ago
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Reasons I'm not having sex: * Too tired * Girlfriend dumped me * Back hurts * Out of condoms * Other people smell funny * Viagra too expensive * Not as fun as playing video games
15 days ago
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Pretty sure the surgeon removing my appendix is a redditor because he keeps telling anyone who will listen about the superiority of his Japanese steel surgical knives.
15 days ago
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Who's ready for The Oscars?
#OnCinemaAtTheCinema
16 days ago
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The 80's was all about crystals: Crystal Light, Crystal Pepsi, Crystal Meth.
16 days ago
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Everything was going great until my ex girlfriend showed up out of nowhere and put a decapitated horse head in my bed sheets.
#DeusExGirlfriendMafia
17 days ago
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A washing machine is only a "washing" machine if you add soap. If you don’t believe me, try adding dirt instead.
17 days ago
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Fun fact:
18 days ago
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Won't somebody PLEASE think of the billionaires!
add a skeleton here at some point
18 days ago
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They’re saying that breaking into Jeff Bezo’s house and stealing all his shit is “the new Amazon.
19 days ago
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The three age groups: * Warheads (youth) * Jolly Ranchers (adult) * Werther's Originals (senior)
19 days ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
20 days ago
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Seems relevant today. No reason, I'm sure.
20 days ago
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Get in loser, we're going to Cocktown.
add a skeleton here at some point
21 days ago
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We need to get
@clickhole.bsky.social
back on Bluesky.
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Reversing Strategies: President Trump Is Now Urgently Reminding Everyone That He Is In The Epstein Files To Distract From ICE Murdering U.S. Citizens
https://clickhole.com/reversing-strategies-president-trump-is-now-urgently-reminding-everyone-that-he-is-in-the-epstein-files-to-distract-from-ice-murdering-u-s-citizens/
21 days ago
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Sadly, Elon Musk has no choice but to make robots since no one wants to make babies with him anymore.
21 days ago
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Dear Miss Diapers, My husband won’t stop shitting the bed! What should I do? - Sleeping On Shit Dear SOS, Diapers. - Miss Diapers
22 days ago
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When they go low, we get stoned.
22 days ago
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I bet Captain Picard wouldn't know how to use a microwave oven. What a doofus!
24 days ago
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The older I get, the more I can sympathize with the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons.
25 days ago
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With all due respect, we're already in a civil war.
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Why Minnesota Can't Do More to Stop ICE
Democratic lawmakers have few options that wouldn't trigger something like civil war.
https://www.wired.com/story/why-minnesota-cant-do-more-to-stop-ice/
25 days ago
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My new doctor wears a spandex tank top and a leather mask, and goes by the name “The Bonecrusher.”
27 days ago
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Bike lanes? Where we’re going, we don’t need bike lanes! * gets on a flying bicycle and immediately crashes into a skyscraper *
27 days ago
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It's been... 🎵 "It's been, six weeks since..." 🎵 What is that song?
add a skeleton here at some point
28 days ago
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Stop letting Grimace shit in your toilet.
28 days ago
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There used to be a website called ExpertsExchange, but they got mad because everybody kept calling it ExpertSexChange.
29 days ago
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Okay here's my historical hot takes: Thomas Jefferson was secretly black, ancient Egypt is an AI hallucination, and Joseph Stalin was a scented candle.
29 days ago
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Gather 'round, folks of all ages, as I regale you with the tale of The 7 Outdated Bathroom Trends Designer Hate.
about 1 month ago
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Unfortunately the rat that lives under my hat and uses me like a human puppet is an unsuccessful private equity manager.
about 1 month ago
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