It’s too late. I have already portrayed myself as the charming, successful crop test and you as the bitter, failed crop test.

I refuse to be nonbinary, that flag is UGLY

I’ve never had burrata before and at this point i’m kind of afraid to

“Might stay in the trump tower for one week // spraypaint all the walls and smoke weed // fuck them and fuck yall and fuck me” might be my favorite Kendrick lyric ever tbh

The recycling rate for fossil fuels is 100%: it doesn’t make any waste and when you run out you can go get more at the gas station

Wicked part 2 was good but i’m sick of these diversity castings. Glinda was never asian before now

Transitioned too late for rainbow capitalism. Transitioned too early for woke 2. Transitioned just in time to draft dodge naval war in latin american

“WIFE GUY!” knuckle tats

I signed up for “jack box games” not this witty tv bullshit

Bad outlook on next year, team. New bio

Signed the record deal and told my mama “quit your job i’m buying you a fraggle”

Notice how aspartame isn’t sweet anymore. They take us for fools

JRJRJR the song of the century i fear

Marx failed to consider the sheer idiocy of reddit mods

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GOVERNMENT OVERREACH #freedom #letmeboilonthego

Feeling like oppenheimer at the thanksgiving table asking grampa’s thoughts on the bubba blowjob

I don’t feel great about saying this but tbh the philly cheese steak hot pockets are p good

Suckers pay for heat when turn on the oven is free

I am so desperate to be a “friend of the show” it’s unreal

Thanks man, i actually sort of picked up on that but thanks for the heads up

Quick question what is the greatest song of all time and quick follow up for those of you who are stupid what stops you from saying family ties by baby keem feat kendrick lamar?

Fetishized bi daughter or villainized bi son

Tiktok from the actual devil

When the white boy going on about that green boat nonsense // when they white boy hit you with that “you can be free and still come home”

Benny the butcher and his ancient rival, fenny the femmer

Why did my mom wake up today and choose violence

Every american boy aged 6-14 suddenly quite familiar with Hajj

There is a line somewhere between deli meats and rocks and it is our job to hurl projectiles at ICE until we find it

How it felt to see Mamdani kill that sex pest

New reaction image for venmo requests just dropped

CENTURY OF REPUBLICAN HUMILIATION

WOKE 2 OUR TIME IS NOW

HEARTBREAKING: Believing in things is an electoral strategy that works 💔💔💔

>looking for a new queer event >ask the organizer if their event is ketamine or board games >she doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is ketamine and what is board games >they laugh and say “it’s a good event ma’am” >attend >its board games

Being trans in this society is so unserious. Why do i have to have beef with dobby the elf

Nothing sobers you up like a drunker driver on the road

My toxic habit recently is taking edibles and then crying profusely at tiktoks of people making interesting covers or posting original songs. It’ll be a video with like 12 likes and i’ll be blowing up the comments section because the human urge to create something beautiful is just so moving to me

Yet to eat a single piece of halloween candy. Recession indicator

Why do they lowkey give butch4femme

I’ve sucked and fucked my way into this situation and i’m sure as hell going to suck and fuck my way out of it too

every day i make my bed and kneel beside it to clasp my hands together in prayer and i thank the powers that be for making me wasian