i want so badly to be the mysterious girl with her book at the bar but unfortunately every glass of wine i've ever had tastes like yap

two seconds after finishing a book that has irrevocably, beautifully, profoundly fucked up my entire life: "🥰 audible hopes you have enjoyed this program 🥰"

girlhood is nobody texting you at the end of the world but 15 women texting within the minute when taylor swift drops the lover cardigan

i work from coffee shops so i end up eavesdropping on a lot of first dates and i feel like i should be allowed to have a fuckboy buzzer where i get to be like BEEEEP i veto him, pick something from the pastry case and go home

now that i've seen the deleted train scene i'm like, oh, glinda doesn't just love elphaba she LOVES her. she hopped on that zillion hour train with NO OTHER OUTFITS, no glitter, no hairbrush, not even a travel toothpaste. i can't cross the street without six lip balms. i know true love when i see it

“I don’t want to wreck my nails” —me on my way to open something with my teeth, which my parents paid dearly in orthodontia for