i wish services would let you opt out of the fancy marketing package after the first order. i don't even need a discount, though it would be nice. it's just that i'm usually ordering from the kind of service that has fancy packaging purely for materials quality and the stupid little marketing […]

both very sweet to kneel down to pet a cat and have her walk between your legs and brace her head in your crotch and purr and purr and purr while you pet her, butt quivering, purring, head against your literal Mons Pubis - very sweet, and very disconcerting also

seems likely i've never known how to write a sentence

🚨 🚨 🚨 KATE CAUGHT MISS LOIS AND BONES LOAFED TOGETHER ON THE FLOOR AND LOIS! WAS! LICKING! HIS! HEAD!!!!!!!

pulled a frozen cherry out of my seed pudding slop that looked like a kalamata and briefly went on a beautiful mental journey of baking my enemies a chocolate "cherry" cake and eating a whole slice while gaslighting them about the kalamatas in it

ngl i feel like a lot of "gay marriage is regressive as a political goal" people in addition to going to the south and talking to gay people there (marriage rights matter more to poor ppl who can't afford lawyers) would benefit from just trying to get away w something by saying "oh that's my […]

@theyluvbkdk 👋 welcome!

i feel like there's an epidemic lately of woke up married or fake married fics where the protags are like "and now we must be emotionally mature and divorce, bc we are in love but getting married was crazy". and i feel that is deeply evil. stop that right now.

badficcers hold up half the sky

Happy thanksgiving my baby sister is in labor four WEEKS early

ok yesterday i was down for the count bc a weird bout of food poisoning or severe indigestion left me with 4 hours of sleep and a flop sweat but today i slept GREAT and i need to make SO MUCH FOOD FOR THANKSGIVING LFG

me: yay electrical work is done we can free the beasts the beast:

dr bronners lip balm is soooo good unless you overuse it when the heat first kicks in and give yourself a small amount of. well contact dermatitis

dumbass "my hands look like this so her hands can look like that" meme only it's about me scooping up the cats' food from the jute mat after they spill almost an entire cans' worth. "imp why don't you use a spoon or other implement" because in the time it took me to go to the kitchen and […]

thanks guys. this actually raises more questions than it answers but that's fine. life is a series of adventures...

Incredible stuff https://www.404media.co/ice-defense-training-on-fortnite-new-save-collective/

since many people including my beloved wife otherwise probably wouldn't see it

i love having four cats but every time i open or close a door it is very much like being in charge of a girl scout troop

RE: https://mstdn.social/@KentNavalesi/115605106392628909 I want to highlight this response because I often feel this way. But, many of the people who have found their way to the fedi are already interested in software. It can be alien to your ‘average person’. Just the other day my mother […]

this morning for the first time e v e r claudia snuggled me in bed even though tibs was there...her warm little body purring so loudly....and she bit my fitbit. a lot

Instead of habit formation i just exercise the Guilt Muscle ...for example every night i think about not flossing my teeth and then i think about the rooting tooth pictures in my childhood dental offices and then i think no, not today, and floss

george eliot really said girl idk about social media...we shouldn't know that much about each other

maintaining this private glitch instance will kill me but that's ok. i do it for love of the game

RE: https://federatedfandom.net/@imp/115602265366480226 girl! calm down

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY […]

kate got too high and didn't realize she had a fever so she has to lie upstairs in a dark room for awhile and i summarized this as "you really fucked the dog on that one" and we both had to pause for 2 minutes of omegaverse jokes before she was like 'my head really hurts though :('

Kate as we get off this exit: WAIT Me: Yes, there's a hockey arena out here Kate: ISN'T THIS RIGHT WHERE THE BURNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER RINK IS?

i have a really normal approach to a thanksgiving i am not remotely hosting and to which no one asked me to bring dessert. don't worry about it

Ok we're going to make split pea soup and THEN we're going to write lois lane getting her memory back and being so mad about two specific things lfg

so weird to be walking after work like "damn it's fucking dark i cannot see a thing" while simultaneously vividly remembering when I was freshly moved to Chicago and this level of "darkness" drove me insane with how bright it was

You see content warnings and filters are important. But my morbid curiosity and subsequent regret are even more important

who else has a cat that meows by going MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM just a very high pitched hum MMMMMMMMMMMM

i have that rainy-day really relaxed full body feeling that isn't quite sleepiness but does not lend itself to mental or physical effort. which is a problem, since i am at work.

50k 🌚

do you think it feels good for a drive to be full on storage space. mmmff im so full of files and directories

orange soup season feat. homemade croutons (and bread)

buying a walking pad back in march was suuuch a good idea....hamster wheel time lfg

some personal news: for the first time in a week i woke up because i was waking up, not because i couldn't breathe

oh my god...maple candy when you're stoned. does anyone know about this

okay...put 2 bins of kitchen stuff away moved the dishes to their permanent home did 1 load of laundry did dishes threw the 2 leftovers we didn't eat away...kate is upstairs coughing...time to KNIT and GET STONED

it's still fall but here's my winter playlist anyway https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6tMZc7rFwOxkpwbhWUG0PB?si=d7e02e5eeb204755

i've really made strides this year in doing stuff for the house etc by cognitively framing it in terms of self-respect rather than self-love or even -care but unfortunately if i try to articulate it i just sound like i'm making a case for keeping protestants in cages

who's sick, not me (i am) (but i made bread anyway)

my local ace hardware identifying themselves as lgbtq-friendly on google maps. oh i'm sure

on bluesky there has been controversy over someone getting suspended over saying that they want to throw someone else into a wood chipper. that's why here on the fediverse we are adding a button that throws people into a woodchipper

my main hater god really tried it this week but my biggest fan (the uncaring hand of fate) came through: mini circ saw delivered to the wrong address showed up today, WELL after i had claimed my $160 original payment method from amazon 👼

i really wish i understood why one side of our house gets hundreds of gnats dying against or inside of the screen every year. what's going on with that. google diy bat colony

no one is doing it like her. god.

sudafed euphoria can fix me