Is Batman too straight to eat pussy

nearly caught myself submitting for an audition and then got the ick at the thought of being publicly recognizable

I'm sorry what youtube?

oh no not my sperm count www.youtube.com/shorts/jyeKN...

The upside to doomscrolling is that it trains your brain to read fast.

I heard we're changing names for halloween or something

You take a couple of edibles Thursday afternoon and the next thing you know it's Friday morning except you can't tell if it's AM or PM because your phone doesn't tell you that.

"hey how do we solve this problem?" <solution that works> "okay but we're not doing that everywhere" do you people hear yourselves when you type this shit

Oh cool. It looks like indeed is broken.

Pretty sure the universe has simply decided that I don't ever get to be happy.

I need to quit torturing myself.

Baltic Fleet 2.0, the return to glory!

DIY hormones you say

In hindsight I should have stopped having anything to do with that girl the moment she said she didn't like cats.

Should be a law that says if you're demanding a degree to do any sort of job you can't pay less than $25/hr.

Hmmmm.

I should really quit chasing after Balkan girls.

doomscrolling on indeed

I just had the funniest thought. What if someone showed Donald Trump Escape from New York?

Oh wow unwelcome memory flashback, brain. Go fuck yourself.

Good thing I waited before submitting a passport application I guess.

Delayed emotional processing is quite literally the worst fucking experience.

It's incredibly rude for time zones to exist.

Share a TV show you love from the 1970s

I don’t like songs and poems taking up entire pages in fantasy novels. The formatting shift is jarring.

Well that’s one of the most clever repurposes of jeans I’ve ever seen.

I’ve had no less than two guys recently complain about this looking like a rough part of town and it’s just like. Well sorry but we don’t give discounts just because you’re a pussy.

My initial impulse is a terrible idea which is why it's probably what I'm gonna end up doing.

Which drugs help you stop being a miserable wreck about a girl?

I have got to get out of Alaska.

Oh sure, insult the guy working behind the desk. That's gonna get you the discount your angling for and not completely DNR'd.

Fuck it, daily reminder that Steven Spielberg owes me money.

Is bath rotting a thing?

This is a personal attack.

I can’t be the only one that struggles with keeping days straight really early in the morning.

Ever feel like certain names are a curse lol

Being blocked by Ryback is legitimately the funniest thing to happen to me on social media.

Wait a minute. Does Hades 2 have more endings

A lot of casuals are in for a rude shock when they reach the ending in Hades 2.

Lorentz transformations are neat.

Oh hey, it's not just me being bitchy. Food quality across the country has steadily gotten more mediocre over the years.

hey chat is it illegal to pretend to be a priest

Maybe the “universe is a simulation” guys are onto something.

The really shitty thing about autism is not realizing a woman is interested in you until after she's lost interest and then realizing how many times you've fucked it up.

On second thought that joke might be a little too spicy for blusky

I need to go into business making heraldry for billionaire dipshits

crunch or cronch

Occasional reminder that Steven Spielberg owes me money.