The guardian citing our own disheveled and politicized DOJ to discredit the words spoken by a congressman on the house floor this week is just sad and pathetic journalism. You can't have Bondi out here acting like this and expect me to trust anything about the department she oversees.

I recognize i'm all over the place today but you men just need to be in the habit of calling me a good boy.

My Dawson shall never be forgotten. RIP to our boy on the creek who did so much more.

I could never possibly say fuck pam bondi in a loud enough voice that the universe would understand what is needed. May her socks always be wet and may every step be found by a fucking lego, a rose stem, or a landmine.

In college I got asked by a bunch of young people why I still the f word in my stories, and my response was because I'm not going to erase the past and you pretending like it never happened isn't going to the fact that it did.

Oh, my god y'all these dick faucets turned on and it has been a hell of a week.

If i've worked a whole workday and then we agree to meet and you message me a whole workday later, i've already been up for seventeen hours and you're stupid.

Eat more shrimp tacos. I'm clearly taking my own advice here.

Alright, I went down the rabbit hole of the 40+ men, providing us non nude selfies... Y'all looking good!

Men of a Certain Age thread. 40+ besties drop a (non nude) selfie. 48 here.

If you ever tell me there was standing room only in a movie theater, I know that you are the biggest fucking moron and liar that I have ever encountered in my life. There are no movie theaters in the entire universe that work like this.

If your friend doesn't love this type of exchange, do you really even have friends?

If Forbes could ever convince me to stop reading their idiot bullshit, this is it.

All the locals said, don't go to Albuquerque. I got drunk and tattooed and saw a whole bunch of places that I'm writing about and this was the best long weekend vacation ever.

Nothing like coping with the dystopian end of your country by getting more tattoos. Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Cone is the way.

This lady with two gays and a possibly gay husband keeps staring at me. I will out your husband, bitch, and for fuck's sake, buy a decent facial cream.

Me and my bestie are drunk on vacation, and your bitches are not prepared.

I hate that some of you are so fucking stupid

Hey

How are y'all coping? I'm laser focused on 10k steps daily for two years (March 24), and drinking more than usual. Fuck

Mexican hamburger is the fucking gringo choice, but fuck they're good.

We vote as a state, so this is going down.

Look, I realize I've become a bit judgmental in my old age, but if you shop at target, eat chick filet, or date a kardashian, I simply don't like you anymore. I'm not telling you you can't do those things. I'm just telling you to get away from me.

I just saw a video of a girl sking "where's finn" while the glee crew is singing Seasons of Love, and oh my god why y'all wanna make me cry before work on a Friday?

I've joined the ranks of full-time glasses wearers. Thoughts, anyone?

Look, I was probably 12 when Last of the Mohicans came out and my parents abandoned me in a movie theater for the day. Doomsday at 4 hours is a hard no. The only report I want to hear, is if there was an intermission or not? Y'all have fun.

My friend's girlfriend said she will never buy banana bread again since I shared my mother's recipe with her. I know Mama is grinning here to ear, and I'm balling like a baby.

The bartender just saw Hudson Williams on my screen amd smiled so big.☺️

It's 6:53 and I don't give a fuck. My new year's spirit is non existent.

NEW: President Trump's first veto of his second term kills a unanimous bill to fund a major drinking water project in Colorado. Trump had threatened punishment for Colorado for imprisoning his ally Tina Peters. www.9news.com/article/news...

Why I ain't nobody tell me these forearm tattoos itch like crazy because the hair grows in way too fucking fast?

I had the sexiest dream about Henry Cavill last night. "Give me peace," will be a phrase that forever lives in my mind. Thank you dream gods.

I made fun of my best friend for having the call of duty Xbox controller, and this is my gay ass:

Cute little puzzles on christmas go over very well.

I will have you all know that today I touched grass. And following the best advice of my doctor I did not climb trees. I spied a few good climbers though.

Merry Christmas, you beautiful bitches!

I'm also taking the stoniest joint possible for Christmas tomorrow. Everyone will be very angry with me.

I haven't turned my tv on for two days, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to turn it on to watch Mean Girls.

I'm officially tormenting the straight boy that fell in love with me last summer.

Scott Hunter is the best character on that show. I will not be discussing this any further.

I was going to make a post about how my brain does weird things when i'm sick cause I just made up a stupid song in my head. And then I thought about it, and I was like, your head does weird shit when you're not sick, so what's the big fucking deal?

I will never forgive anyone who is even passing responsible for me knowing the fucking the Paul brothers exist.

I remember when headlines like this used to work on me. Now i'm just like, if you had anything nice to say about this show, you should have put it in the fucking headline.

My best friend drives for lyft and I have a company dinner tonight, i'm working those angles, baby.

Heated Rivalry is the first time in forever that I felt like I actually wanted a man to watch a fucking show! Damn it. I have no one to pause for but myself😜

“Do not ever involve me or my music to benefit your inhumane agenda,” Carpenter said in a post on X.

I just came to say fuck the entire state of Oklahoma, especially that they/them who can't write a goddamn essay intelligently.

I lonely white boyed today like a champ. Saw For Good in 3D with the pink glasses, and learned that bacon and Baby Ruth's go together really well. #nougat

Could Archer please stop suggesting men that were being born when I was graduating high school? I realize that we're all technically adults...

I bought Burnout Paradise and eggnog. It's over for you bitches.