More like Tyler Fagnow

It’s gonna be so funny in 5 years when every Mexican kindergarten is named Shohei Yoshinobu Carrillo Vargas

Shohei Ohtani has the greatest regular season performance in the history of baseball: LA Angels lose 7-3 Shohei Ohtani has the greatest postseason performance in the history of baseball: LA Dodgers win 4-3

Dodgers when their pitcher isn’t Yamamoto or Ohtani

We will also be arresting and prosecuting any contractor that worked on the demolition and desecration of the People’s House under this illegitimate regime

Experiencing insane sticker shock on Onitsuka Tigers since tariffs, this shit is actually insane. $150 -> $300 like overnight

Wemby vs Flagg the next Clark vs Reese except this time the black player is good too

Let’s go Dodgers baby Shohei boutta nut all up in your eyes and mouth

Seattle sports fan subplot

AWS outage is fucking up my bets, I’m going to storm the Amazon data centers

Cashed a bet on the final Yoshi pitch I LOVE GAMBLING

We may currently live in Hitler but there is so much sports to bet on this weekend so who’s to say if life is good or bad

Who said baseball was boring

They’re telling me that 800,000 people have died in Philadelphia after a mass suicide event

Okay ban the tush push, this is absolutely fucking awful

Happy October 7 to all who celebrate

Taylor SSwift

The Life of a Showgirl is actually a social experiment to see how much absolute dogshit pig slop we can force feed white women until they throw up and kill themselves

No ICE agent slayings to celebrate at all, gotta step yall’s game up

Not a single game to bet on tonight

The infernal columns against the American Vendée. The drownings at Nashville. The national razor for all our enemies

Two nights until there’s more football to bet on

Bro had Trevon Diggs on all fours 😭😭😭😭

Senior Hamas commander eliminated in Al-Utah by our experienced commandos. Thank you IDF!

Rate my screen time

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First three bets of the NFL season are in

Donald Trump is just trying to make the security and financial elites experience what it’s like to be a Palestinian in the West Bank. What an empath 🥰

Prigozhin was pretty much a good guy I think

We are ready for football season

Despite all these horrible lies and rumors floating around, I want to clarify that I am TOTALLY ANTI-RAPE! Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I’m not that worried about explaining to my girlfriend that I’m racist but how do I explain that I’ve shit my pants three times since I was 12?

I think I can probably say the n word

“I’m gonna make a Depop to sell some of my old clothes” He did not sell any of his old clothes. In fact he purchased 24 new pieces of clothing. He spent $800.

Just witnessed the stewardess ask the pilot “what’s the tea” and he’s like “what” and she’s like “you know, the tea” and he’s like “what” and she’s like “you know, like what’s the hot goss” and he’s like “what”

Getting really catty and then developing an eating disorder

Hey hey DJT how many kids did you rape last week

Trump was raping many children, as we suspected

The Singaporean navy is posting Indonesian boat race aura farming videos on its official TikTok, we are not defeating Chinese hegemony bro

We used to have guys named “Learned Hand” and “Guccio Gucci” and now everyone’s name is Jaden

Putting that shit back on the shelf after seeing the “Made in USA” sticker

Desperate to be a part of the fun: “guys I think I’m on the Epstein files…”

Forget Insta thots, check out these Depop thots

Opps are succeeding at work

We’re in hell

Average Frenchman

All politics is “boys will be boys” (transmasc) vs. “boys will be boys” (rapist)

Don’t forget to breadcrumb your situationships tonight 😊🫶

I am addicted to shopping, gambling, cigarettes, and alcohol in that order. It’s fine really. Good even.

The Hamas-run New York Elections Ministry has declared the election for senior commander Zohran Mamdani