I'm no lawyer, but pretty sure I could prosecute this case with eye witness accounts, video from 3 angles, and the coroner's report

The fealty to a man who wouldn't allow them on Mar-a-Lardass grounds is vomitous

'YMCA'

These two stills are enough to convince a jury to bury him under the prison

I feel like they're either gonna quietly reassign him to Alaska or promote him to puppy population control in South Dakota

Oh nothing, just an ICE agent fleeing the scene of a fatal shooting he committed Guessing he skipped the class on Procedural Law I'm sure Internal Affairs will let it slide this one time

Published yesterday

Everyone let Gov. Walz and Mayor Frey handle this DO NOT give Shamussolini a reason to impose martial law

Even with the mask, I feel like someone can ID him LET'S GO, Bluesky!

Greenland clocking in at 56 people

Hear me out... Secretary of Defense 👉 Mark Kelly Attorney General 👉 Jack Smith Speaker of the House 👉 Pete Buttigieg / AOC / Crocket Who y'all got?

God spittin' erotica today

ICE is responsible for all the ensuing retaliatory LEO killings

Welp, I just learned how to sign 'GET THE FUCK OUT'

Soooo...our dictator kidnaped their dictator and then replaced their dictator with <checks notes> our dictator?

Except 110 years ago we obviously had no idea Greenland was rich with rare earth minerals, so clearly we have a case for take-backseez

I'm technically a doctor, so when he reinstates the draft, everybody hit me up for a bone spur draft deferment

The Venezuelan drug problem has been solved! 'Murica...FUCK YEAH!!!

One day, predictably soon, he'll be dead, and the leaky crack in the dam of information will burst wide open, flooding this sleepy hollow of blissful ignorance and washing away the Trump stain, and name, forever I mean, have you ever crossed paths with anyone named Hitler

They said if I voted for Kamala, we'd be in another war I hate it when they're right

I feel like too many of you didn't take this cartoon seriously enough Day 3

Your reminder that the internet is forever

When all you could get was a FIFA Peace Prize

Yeah, this was pretty evident from the fact that in my swing state EVERY dem on the ballot won...except Harris They couldn't even bother to make their cheating believable

Goddammit, we are SO close www.newsbreak.com/share/442174...

Day 2, and @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social is already cleaning up NYC

Ditto

What in the adderall-riddled fuck?!? I assumed it was some old rare painting by a long-dead famous artist...but it's just some hack live-flinging paint onto a giant canvas...and one of his billionaire friends gives him $3M...er...I mean wins the auction?

BREAKING: Dementia patient very proud of almost putting own pants on

Ignoring that only congress can change the name of a memorial, the Kennedy Center board thought adding the name of a man who bankrupted casinos was a swell idea The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed

I wish a cross-your-fingers New Year to all my fellow "Suckers & Losers" My resolution is to be less of a dick in 2026 JK -

Post saved! Let's fuken go!

14 The number of minutes I made it thru the new 'Naked Gun' Some things shouldn't be remade

It's because the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed

FYI... He's not 6'2" He's not 220 pounds He wasn't shot He didn't win Ivana never used stairs, she had an elevator Epstein's ligature marks were consistent with a rope, not a sheet His name is in the files more than Epstein's Happy New Year

USPS life-hack In blue districts, mail-in ballots will pile up, unprocessed, until after the election Drop your mail-in ballot in a red district mail box for immediate processing

Time zones are weird It's 2026 in Australia, 2025 in Europe and 1938 in America

Lotta research about child care for someone who's never had sex

Woke = Not a Dick

Oh, nothing...just the federal government recruiting all the unemployable Kyle Rittenhouses of angry unfuckable losers

Awwww shit Evangelical-Scientology turf war? 2026 - FUCK YEAH!!!

June 6th, 1944 Radical Leftist Scum (AKA Antifa) about to start some shenanigans in Normandy, France

@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social Day 1. PLEASE!!!

All the wrong people continue to die

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For those still keeping track - - Mount Denali - Gulf of Mexico - US Institute of Peace - Department of Defense - John F. Kennedy Center

Petty me is so delighted that NostraDumbass is big mad that even contractually obligated performers can back out because their contract was with 'The John F. Kennedy Center'

Today in: All You Need To Know The GOP calls the 30-year olds at TPUSA "kids", and calls the 14-year olds in the Epstein files "young women" Have the day you deserve!

Can attest We're all born atheists. I was lucky enough to raised that way, as well. Never had a boogey man or carried generations of other people's guilt Quite freeing