Dwarf scout

Ducking fucks.

Everyone hates elves. Even elves hate elves.

We all believe things that we know aren't true. If you just said "I don't do that.", congratulations. You just discovered one of them.

Don't look in the crawlspace.

I should start doing drugs. Maybe cocaine.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Pardon me while I drill a hole in my own head.

Good night, sprogs. Do what is necessary.

Is it booze o'clock yet?

It's amusing that people think the Supreme Court, Congress, the law, the Constitution, or anything else will prevent Herr Klown from doing whatever the fuck he wants. The tariffs will stay in place until the fucker is six feet under.

If this isn't justification for Megatron exterminating humanity, stripping the planet of its resources, and leaving it a lifeless, ashen husk as a warning to other civilizations, I don't know what is.

Is it booze o'clock yet?

Shouting about this for the UK Wednesday morning crowd – I've done the artwork for a new Kickstarter RPG from Brian Clevinger (Atomic Robo etc) and it's live now! One of the options is a vehicle commission from yours truly... www.kickstarter.com/projects/bcl...

The Four Horses of the Apocalypse say the Time Is Neigh.

If drinking whiskey from the skulls of my enemies is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Right now, doomerism feels too optimistic.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Today's mood

I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait, that's not right. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month. #PunctuationIsImportant

My pronouns are "was/were".

We all believe things that we know aren't true. If you just said "I don't do that.", congratulations. You just discovered one of them.

One of the most depressing insights you get from studying history is that, yes, we always have been this stupid.

The bright side is the nuclear winter will offset global warming.

Is the fucker dead yet?

The children yearn for the mines.

This is the way.

Do what is necessary.

Cereal for dinner? In this economy?

PORK

My life is best described as a series of horrible mistakes.

While you're under the bus, might as well cut the brake line.

I feel much better now that I've given up hope.

MY BRAIN'S FILLED WITH BEES

All I need to know about life I learned from Scooby Doo: The real monsters are usually some old white guy trying to steal someone's land.

I should fake my own death, but nobody would notice.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Is the fucker dead yet?

6×7=42. THIS MEANS SOMETHING

Today

I should start doing drugs. Like maybe cocaine.

I'm only dead on the inside.

Do what is necessary.

Inside me is a wolf. And all he wants to do is put on grandma's nightgown and crawl into bed.

Is the fucker dead yet?

I'm running for office under the Guillotine Party.

We are all monsters.

Is the fucker dead yet?

If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner staring blankly into space.