Due to the complete failure of the United States government, by popular demand I have assumed sovereignty over this country. I declare myself Emperor Norton the Second, and I hereby order the dissolution of Congress and the arrest of the entire cabinet.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Is it booze o'clock yet?

I wish I was normal.

The last place you will ever stay.

Do what is necessary.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Satanic Panic At The Disco

I should start doing cocaine. Thousands of dead Victorians can't all be wrong.

I should start doing drugs.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Good night, sprogs. Do what is necessary.

Right, I'm sure a court will stop Herr Klown from doing whatever the fuck he wants. It didn't work the last ten thousand times.

At this point, the Democrats need to say, "Fuck you, we're not agreeing to a budget until Herr Klown, Couchfucker, Captain Brainworms, Whiskey Pete, and the rest of the cabinet resign and report to prison. Have a nice day."

Is the fucker dead yet?

Today's mood

Is Herr Klown dead yet?

Do what is necessary.

Is the fucker dead yet?

My relatives who died from black lung say "Fuck off, Chris."

What's your sign?

Abandon humanity. Walk into the woods. Become Bigfoot.

In the End Times, everyone is an eschatologist.

Cup of hemlock, table for one.

The beginning was January 7th, 2021, when we failed to clap Herr Klown in irons, frog-march him out of the White House, and publicly execute him for treason.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Hahaha no. We're fucked. We're so deeply fucked that there is no daylight.

Last time Herr Klown occupied the Oval Office, we were debating the definition of a mass grave. This time it's "But are they REALLY concentration camps?'

If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner staring blankly into space.

Is the fucker dead yet?

Is Herr Klown dead yet?

So many problems could be solved if journalists would say, "Stop lying, shitbag."

MY BRAIN'S FILLED WITH BEES

Is Herr Klown dead yet?

But are your intrusive thoughts really intrusive enough?

Have the "this could be a simulation" people considered that we may in fact be in hell?

Are they gone yet?

Time to fill a bunch of blow-up dolls with helium and set them loose.

Remember how the test monkeys for the brain implant chips went crazy and clawed out their own eyeballs? That's how I feel every day.

Is Herr Klown dead yet?

Remember, your only value is in the revenue you produce for your corporate overlords.

Ivo Shandor was right.

Time to fill a bunch of blow-up dolls with helium and set them loose.

A religion is just a fandom that doesn't know it's fictional.

IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S THE RAPTURE! No, wait. It's just gas.

Should I go to work, or call in and get day drunk?

If you're being attacked by clowns, go for the juggler.

It's always the End Times, and it's never the End Times.

The thing is, Herr Klown knows this is a lie. Captain Brainworms knows all his antivax horseshit is lies.

The mothership is circling.