Time to pour out the box of little green army men and make so many vehicle and gun sounds you have to wipe the drool from your chin! #rpg

She might nottin' be the purdiest ship mate, but if ye look close you'll see she's got good bones. #dnd

Sussie if your doll steals my date it'll be a blood bath! *vampire Dad appearing in a cloud of bats with a toothy smile on his face* Did someone say blood? You kids wanna go to the blood shrine? *children cheering* We'll lets get on down to the shrine where there's blood all the time! #dnd

Village to pillage was a series title people! It wasn't intended to be instructional. I come back and now look at what you've done. #dnd

Soaring towers in otherworldly cities on vast oceans of water or fire? I got that, just don't mix the two or the humidity is unbearable. #dnd

"Ghosts of the past haunting the ruins? That's just a legend, we have nothing to worry about from them." "I thought you said we had nothing to worry about!" "I said from ghost of the past, these are perfectly modern and corporeal monsters that have taken up residence here, proving my point" #dnd

Fish ships, fish ships slimy grimy fish ships fish ships, fish ships, Blow 'em up, fun! #spelljammer

In the jungle, the mighty jungle The party sleeps to night In the jungle, the quiet jungle The party fails their check (Oh, no) #dnd

Does your undead lair scream for the new ossuary chiche look but you already emptied the necropolis for your army of the dead? Fear not you kitsch lich, we've got faux osteo options that are to die for, again.

Forests forts? Their isn't a grail shaped lantern in one of those is there? #dnd

The frog men croaked wildly as the bard broke into the 46th verse of Bobby Riverbottom's Riparian Rapsody. Where was the sign that the rest of the crew were done looting the warehouse? #DnD

We must defeat the evil blue Sorcerer and free this land my fello- What! What is it my wizardly friend. Why are you waving so frantically? I'm out. Trust me its just gonna be me and this color coded dipstick going back and forth countering each others spells otherwise. #dnd

Bored of evil robots set up a factory next to you building machines to crush your civilization. No one likes it when they drone on and on. #rpg #scifi

Grumbling the tiny creature in his mushroom hat ambled through the village at night everywhere he touched mats of green spread and ferns stretch out their fronds. He harrumphed as he saw the clean white walls of the church and began his work. #dnd

Great wall? Well it used to be, but after we blew all our nations entire budget on it we had no maintenance budget so its a bit rough in parts these days. Maybe a so-so wall at best #dnd

The least toxic avenger?

The knuckle tattoos declaring STREAM on the fingers of one hand and LIFE on the other also indicated a certain amount of inbreeding in the small village along the river. #DnD

Desert fortress? Does that mean its in the desert, someone has made a chocolate fortress topped whipped cream and a cherry, or that sentient desserts own a fort? Possibly multiple of the aforementioned? #dnd

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but they are incapable of sampling the delicious marrow inside. #dnd

As the shell ship army flexed their muscles, with a show of force snailing directly at the parties ship, the captain's clam defiance bolstered the crew. #DnD

Torka here for your cave fashion trends. This year the trend setters have spoken loudly "Stalactites? Stalagmites? We call them stala-trite!" Dripping wet caverns are out, bright bold stripes are in! #dnd

As the Orc chieftain rode forth to raze the nearby settlement he had a nagging suspicion he'd left the water running in the sink. Such uncertainty was a sign of weakness he chastised himself mentally before scowling and take out his annoyance on his war boar with a vicious kick forward. #dnd

Wizards, always with making their homes in extra dimensional spaces and pocket dimensions. You'd think with all that power in their hands they would come up with a better way to avoid solicitors and relatives. #DnD

Your old wagon saggin' and draggin'? Come on down to Crazy Karl's Crazy cheap wagon lot! He's compelled by a powerful curse after trying to cheat a swamp witch to let wagons go for the lowest prices around and its driven him completely mad! #dnd

I might jus' be a simple swamp lawah, but it seems clear to me these so called adventurahs came to the abodes of my clients engaged in not onlah robbin' 'em but assaulting 'em in fronta their own youngin's. Honorable membah's of the jury their defense? My clients are "monsters". #DnD

"We'll just sneak into the red dragon's cave help ourself to a bit of his treasure and leave before anyone notices we were ever there" he lied. #dnd

You want me to drive your herd of axe beaks through where? Sir you do know them canyons is sand ghoul territory. Double my usual take? Why sir I do believe we have an accord. #dnd

So what kind of sleepy farm village you d'ya think this one is? In peril? Evil cult looking for sacrifices? Secretly all monsters? Dark secrets from the past? Under the sway of an evil- Hush up someones coming to greet us! With a creepy smile. *sigh* Cult it is. #dnd

Spider-ship, Spider-ship Take it on a spider Trip Spins a web, any size Catches sailors just like flies Look out Here comes the Spider-ship Is it strong? Listen, bud Wizard captain he's no chud Can fire a full spread Take a look, overhead Hey there There goes the Spider-ship #dnd

"I knew you had a fair breadth of knowledge bard but you still surprise me with your knowledge of ancient hieroglyphics." "Always had a soft spot in my heart for the old desert cultures, what can I say I'm a mummies boy." #dnd

The X-Mas in July Sale is on now! More than 45k digital titles are discounted for a limited time! Shop deals here: tinyurl.com/mpp7t6fw Even more savings are available over at @roll20.net @demiplane.com @drivethrucomics.com and @dmsguild.com #ttrpgs #dnd53

The call to adventure? Yes have the servants see to that. The servants are all members of a cult working against our family and are already attacking? Its so hard to find good help. I guess I'll just grab my own sword. #dnd

Big Wharf rats? Pest control. Wharf wererats? Adventuring party and fire insurance. #dnd

Tear free commercial tiers! That said don't put them directly in your eye.

"What's that note book you always grab when we pull out the climbing gear wizard? Some sort of climbing spell book? It doesn't work we always have to haul you up like a pack animal." "These are just my short notes about the terrain, specifically my cliff notes". #dnd

We did it, we saved your village from the goblins! *Villager gesturing to burned down village and glaring* Well yes, fireballs were an important part of the strategy. #dnd

Time as shorter as the dwarven lord's temper to prepare for your parties dwarven fighter's wedding after a death in the family requires them as one of the parties to seal a treaty between clans? I got some modular maps to speed things up. #dnd

Yes we live in a habitation pod. No that doesn't make us pod people. Yes some of our food looks a bit like detergent pods but that's unrelated! #scifi #rpg

You've been hire as an outrider for the dire cattle run. The drive goes passes through washes and canyons to get to market and get everyone paid, but somewhere out there in heat shimmer is Peryton Pete famed Pixie cattle poacher and his gang. #dnd

I don't know that I can be bothered to adventure today. But sir there's a cave. A Cave you say? And the cave has ruins in it sir. RUINS you say? And something huge has been moving around in there s... Get my saddle ready! #dnd

Sure some dragons like to nest in ruins or old dwarven halls, but me? I'm a classic and as such I need a classic cave lair. Sure I've updated the cave a bit, had the minions dig me out some must have features, I'm a dragon not an oversized cave bear! #dnd

Bard: Listen man I need you to be cool with these guys, we really need these alchemical ingredients if we're going to cure your bride. Paladin: Is their chieftain wearing a necklace of human hands? Paladin: Is that a pit for kidnapped children? Bard: Probably rescued orphans? #dnd

Whether or not portfolioday is real, Brain is a real artist so that should be enough.

Primordial titans warring with each other through multiple dimensions? Never happened. These bones were probably just enlarged after death to fool us. #dnd

Don't worry most folks never make it to the bottom alive on account of the flying venomous spiders or because its so deep you die of dehydration before you hit. #dnd

Either this is an enchanted forest or someone spiked our healing potions in that last town after the fishmonger-cone-of-cold-successfull-charm-but-failed-buisness-model incident. #dnd

Look at that shining bastion atop the hill good paladin no doubt a place of decency and hope! Remember the words of our wise friend when he said "I think a servant of the Enemy would look fairer and feel fouler" before jumping to such conclusions. #dnd

First time we tried flipping castles we did it wrong and the money we paid that titan for an upside down and total smashed keep was complete wasted. Then someone explained the concept to us better. #dnd

Awesome place for encounter? Absolutely. Equally good oversized aquarium for your parties amphibious pets? Also certain. Both? Polymorph your PCs into their pets favorite food...

Problem with sleeping the sleep of death for 100 years at a time? You wake up and find out your steward was slain and the dungeon polishers didn't get paid so they quit. Now your whole brass dungeon has a green patina that clashes with your wardrobe. #dnd