me when a supervillain yells "COME OUT AND FACE ME"

Pride month is the funniest time to watch corporations be cowards, just posting disco balls and pissing their pants because they don’t stand for anything.

tf is Rita doing in this one, gang signs or something. Anyway never die. nonadventures.com/2026/05/30/c...

Reminder that this joke is older than ICE

Modern-Day John Henry: Area Man Fakes Nudes Faster than AI

Comedy is legal again

Kickstarter is banning "adult content," so I thought of a version where all nudity is replaced by suggestive emojis and realized this is where Veggie Tales came from.

I had to fight The Underbaby once, very demanding.

It stops being the Strait of Hormuz when men all over the world are shoving their dicks in it, more like Kinsey 4 of Hormuz.

TIL James Comey’s PIN number

In defense of the guy who kept eating his burrata salad when a gunman showed up at the Correspondent's Dinner, burrata is extremely good.

I would have hired the fake gunman closer to the midterms but that’s just me.

Always happens when I'm catching up on my Toast news: nonadventures.com/2026/04/24/o...

Happy “Oscar Vote Bots Are Going Away Eve” to all who celebrate

Reminder that I am not part of any corporate mergers at this time. Unlike some.

New comic! Just in case you want a distraction from the whole World War III situation: nonadventures.com/2026/02/28/c...

Big day for AI images of crying Dilbert

Every Columnist: “I’m gonna tell everyone the words to stop using in 2026!” Editor: “yes we will do this instead of investigative journalism.”

Well I'm not in this comic but here it is anyway, choke on it I guess -- nonadventures.com/2025/12/23/s...

say it ain't so!

The Zombie is the most Christmas drink because: 1. It features three spirits B. Jesus came back from the dead

Sad but not surprised to see Woody Allen went to Epstein's island. At least Ronan Farrow's dad wasn't there.

When you build a whole-ass ballroom so your wife has to be near you for three minutes.

Please welcome the Pantone Color of the Year, an blank expense representing how nothing means anything anymore.

At long last

Unwashed masses: "Mariah starts the Christmas season" The cultured few:

"I’m not a hearts and flowers kind of man, I don’t do romance. My tastes are very singular.”

Please. On a scale of robots going berserk, teaching an overhand knot is like .3% evil.

Mega Bloks are compatible with your favorite building block toy. I cannot stress that enough: nonadventures.com/2025/11/19/s...

Fans of Tron clearance merchandise gonna be eating good

Just watched a Netflix documentary exposing how Batman’s cars actually do all the work for him. Sickening but not surprising.

Film critics with a "Mr. Holland's Opus" title in their saved files waiting for Tom Holland to make a good film.

Your last name becomes Pope when you’re the pope, it’s like Hilaria Baldwin.

if Dril Tweets were a person

New Sims expansion announced where Jamal Khashoggi gets deleted from your house, but it's totally cool and not worth following up on.

Ain’t no way they’d schedule a Prime Day after a Rapture. AIN’T NO WAY.

How many Tylenols before I can figure out excel spreadsheets

Cyberpunk has an opportunity to do the funniest thing ever.

TFW you're an idiot who helped put a fascist in power and now he talks about taking you down next.

Remember all the comedians complaining about cancel culture during their highly-promoted Netflix specials? Wonder where those gaping assholes are these days.

You should never wish death on your worst enemy, but if your enemy dies anyway because they are a prick, you are allowed to say "yeah ok, makes sense." nonadventures.com/2025/09/17/n...

RIP to Robert Redford, famous for some movies, but mostly for the origin of the Obama medal meme

CHARLIE KIRK SHOOTING SUSPECT APPREHENDED, STAY TUNED AS WE CREATE A PERSONA THAT FITS OUR NARRATIVE

E. Jean Carroll’s $83 million payout has been upheld! In unrelated news, Trump Brand Vape Pens releasing later this week.

Happy hour specials