[Swearing] Things I learned, today: Apparently, there's such a thing as a (purpose-built) asparagus steamer? Is it weird, that I can hear Ina Garten in my head - "Anyone who's anyone, has a good asparagus steamer. And if they don't, they're trash." /sigh - Judgy bitch.

This is how you celebrate getting a raise, right? If my next posting is me in a cast, you'll all know why. 😝 #onewheel

Helmet ears: Installed. Now I simply HAVE to take the bike out for a spin.

[Chastity cage] Random cage post, cuz why not?

The pack got its way: 1 Smashy, in a crop-top, as requested. I draw the line at Daisy-dukes.

Fresh off the boat. Before and after. All polished up for pup night tomorrow! AROOOO!

There's still time to register! register.puppiesinthemountains.com

Hi baby. Daddy missed you. Wanna break some laws?

21 weeks, and its finally here! Its been so many years, it feels so strange to not have my PA jewelry dangling. Snug. Comfortable. Little angry, after just being jammed in there. #teamlocked #chastity

20 weeks - It'd better be worth it. #teamlocked

Puppies In the Mountains registration is open! Who's coming camping with us deviants this year?

Gym check: Dumpy coming along, nicely.

2 things: 1) Having the gym mostly empty on push day, is magical. 2) If you ARE one of the people that goes to the gym and watches the game. WHY do you have to yell like an asshole, at a TV that's muted? Its f'ing obnoxious.

I'm not sure how I feel about playing Flappy Bird, with my ass. I'm not not intrigued. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTYEQMLe6/

@BruiserPupNH (Doing dishes): I don't understand why this preworkout is so THICK. Me: Thats Klube...

Just for shits and giggles, I decided to try out one of the newer AI-powered workout apps: Gravl. As a result, I have accidentally stumbled upon the machine overlord's plans to overthrow mankind. By ensuring none of us survive leg day. 😫

*internal thought* You know when you're a good locked bottom, when someone asks for a dick pic, and upon a thorough search of your phone, you can't find one where you're not caged.

I - Just mountain biked through a field of prairie dogs. I did not know that I needed that in my life. 😜

OK - To whomever's in charge of the weather control satellites, or whatever it is you're using - You missed... AGAIN...

I'm confused... I swear, its been at least 15 years, since I initially bought this license. And you want me to upgrade NOW?

I blame TikTok for this impulse purchase.

This is not my normal/preferred booze mixer. #betrayal

Thats right - I'm not just A bottom. I am THE bottom!

All clean and sparkly. Ready to go exploring! 😝

Moving update: Assembling servers racks with @BruiserPupNH, while the dogs are curled up on the couch, during a thunderstorm. This is how normal people spend Saturday nights, right?

OK - Real talk, because I'm bored at work. Is it just me, or are bot vacs a bit too aggressive? Like, under what real-world conditions, is it necessary to have enough wheel torque to drive the bot up vertical? Are there houses out there in the world with 45+ degree sloped floors? Or […]

House closing: Completed Hoisting of the colors: Completed

Almost there! 1 more state to go.

Last night in New England. Exhausted, after packing all day. First thing in the morning, we leave for our new home in Colorado. Weirdly nostalgic/nervous.

To the random guy at Home Depot, asking me if I was a rugby player: Thank you? I'm just going to assume it was a compliment.

Well - We're committed to this move now. There goes our shit. Also, homie drives like he's had a few already. 😟

We are to the point in the move, where I have to de-smart the house. Now I have to manually flip light switches, like a commoner. 🤣

Packing tonight. Does anyone else's 3D printer somehow accumulate random bolts and allen wrenches? Why do I have like 8 of the same size?!?!

You ever get on a long meeting, and think to yourself - "THAT coworker would be cute, if I didn't already know he was a moron"? Yep - Pretty sure that means this call needs to end.

Current mood: I am spending an unfortunate amount of time/money, on the bathroom of the house I am moving out of. There had better be alcohol later, just sayin'.😜