Run on this! It's a real thing! People want to hang out IRL but hanging out IRL is too expensive.

The trazodone did squat to calm Penny. They gave me acepromazine to try instead. The first dose also did squat. What is with this dog???

Penny got spayed this morning. They called to let me know she's up and doing well. But they will be sending her home with trazodone because she's so damn wild, and they have zero faith in her being chill until she heals.

When central IV lines are incorrectly placed, people can experience “life-threatening complications..." This can happen if the line is inserted multiple times, by an inexperienced doctor or w/out the assistance of an ultrasound. “(All) three circumstances were present in Mr. Carruthers’ case."

Straight snoring up a storm. #corgi #fluffycorgi #spoiled

Come join us for Article Club! We pick the article & you come ready to have a discussion with the person behind it. We will dive into Katherine Burgess’ story on how ICE has violated one immigrant family's rights. Let's talk about what's happening in our city. https://givebutter.com/mlkarticleclub

After 12 straight hours of driving with an 8-year-old and a 6-month-old dog in heat, I am back home. My bed never felt as glorious as it did last night. 10 hours of dead-ass sleep. :: chef's kiss ::

My mother just walked by me with a very large stool. "What are you doing? Is that an approved grandma activity?" "No. Probably not. But I'm gonna do it anyway." "Well, if you're gonna break a hip, best to do it while I'm here, I guess."

Memphis is “under full-blown occupation” by ICE. Here’s why you may not know that.

When you've spent the evening terrorizing your humans and fall asleep while giving them the hard stare.

So much of headline writing is just ... #copyeditorproblems

A little pre-bed snack 🍎

Asked for a med refill and got denied because I'm overdue for an appt. I can't get in until July. Contacted the doc directly this time, but I'm over it. My anxiety ramps up even thinking about going there. I feel dismissed every time. I'm just over it. Why is finding a good doctor so hard?

I've talked with a handful of politically-involved people in Memphis in the past 24 hours and I can only describe the prevailing sentiment as "incandescent rage"

I just want to squish her little face

From today's therapy session.... "I know that disassociating is bad and kind of what we need therapy for, but if there was ever a time .... wouldn't it be now? Isn't now a good time to have a bubble?" Justin bobs his head...."It depends on the extent of the dissociation..."

To be sure, every day I feel like I'm standing next to a dumpster fire, screaming at the top of my lungs. But today feels much more so.

SCOOP: The F.D.A. blocked the release of studies finding that Covid and shingles vaccines were safe. In the case of Covid, FDA staff had to withdraw studies heading toward publication: www.nytimes.com/2026/05/05/u...

Just your daily dose of corgi zoomies

I love her 💖💖💖

My left eyelid has been twitching on and off for about a week now. It's either too much caffeine and stress or a lack of magnesium or something. Maybe all three. At any rate, I'm tired of it.

It is wild to have a dog that just sleeps through thunderstorms like nothing's going on. Jax would turn into a ball of anxiety and require trazodone the moment things got boomy. Penny's just over here, dead to the world.

Never in my life have I been happier to have a dog who will actually use a pee pad in the house. These damn storms are wrecking potty time.

After her last potty break of the night last night, Penny walked into her crate on her own. I didn't have to put a treat in there or prompt her. So I have that going for me today, I guess.

My time of death: 10:03 a.m. Cause of death: Penny puked up a dead frog on our couch Service details to be shared soon. Memorials may be made to my Cash app. 🤣😫🤮💀⚰️🥀🐸

1. I'm terrified of frogs. 2. I accidentally killed one in our sliding door last night. 3. It's stuck where I can't get it out of the frame. 4. Today, its head is popping out whenever I open the door to let the dog out. I can't remove it. It's gross and mocking me. 5. I'm scarred for life.

Gave my pup a dried fish skin chew, and now my whole house smells like the inside of a tuna can.

Teaching my daughter that you have to get a fun drink/snack when you're out running errands, otherwise it's chorin' and we don't do chorin'.

Follow up from yesterday's pest control service. Poor guy's response had me dead 🤣

Got a bill that pest control came and treated my house. But they didn't. So I call them, and they're like, well we have pictures of the outside of your house! That's my neighbor's house. And thanks for getting rid of her hornet nest, but you'll be coming back to my house now.

I'm more excited about this than she is 🤣

My old man would have been 13 today. I miss him so much.

We’re on strike today! Support our fight for a fair contract by NOT visiting the @propublica.org website or engaging with ProPublica stories today. Tell ProPublica’s management you won’t cross the picket line: actionnetwork.org/petitions/te...

I totally just bought a backpack to torment my dog and carry her around in.

Something must be up with our neighborhood, because Jehovah's Witnesses have been showing up by carloads the last two weeks. At least 4 cars full of folks today.

A friend just sent me a video of Jax playing in her backyard and now I'm crying for the first time in weeks. I miss my boy.

I've had an electrician at my house every day this week. Am I having fun? Absolutely not.

We've reached the talking-to-the-moon-and-trees-and-sobbing-in-my-backyard phase of whatever hellscape timeline this is.

My little baby is getting glasses just like I did at her age. The only difference is she's farsighted, and I'm nearsighted AF. Luckily, she's been super pumped about needing glasses and is totally jazzed that today was the day.

Can't even stretch out for a minute by myself

My husband. Bless his heart. Me to Emily: Do you know what pork rinds are made of? Fried pig skin. Emily looks horrified Matt, with a mouthful of pork rinds: Really? How on earth does my almost 40-year -old Southern husband, who's been eating these all his life, not know what they are??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am struggling to get back on the horse today after having a week off from work. I closed my laptop on Friday and didn't even look at the thing for a week. It was so pleasant.

My grass needs to hurry up and go green again so I can stop losing my dang dog in the yard.

What's that? Oh, it's just my kid yelling the lyrics to "Down the witches road" at the top of her lungs in our backyard.

"I always thought my life would be beautiful and fun." -- Shit my kid says because she has to do school work.

Just 41 seconds of my Corgi puppy being her happy self. #corgi #penny

Current favorite Emily phrases: Chicken bucket - KFC Boot God - Saint Nicholas, the one who fills your shoes with treats on Dec. 5. Not to be confused with Santa Claus.

"Do you ever get that feeling in your nostrils that lets you know you're getting sick? I do. I have sensors." -- Things my 8-year-old says

This storm has brought an obscenely loud frog to my back door, and I wish, very much, that it would STFU already.

Penny, The Woobie Thief