A Jane Austen action scene is when someone rides a horse instead of a carriage.

If I ever start writing again there will be signs.

"That's a grown man's jam!!" Ian Eagle when he sees me put a little extra on my morning toast. #nbasky

My pop culture theory is that all Denzel movies exist in the same universe. Coach Boone is the same guy delivering the wrath of God on lowlifes in Man on Fire and the Equalizer movies.

"It occurs to me now that this was the real joy of dancing: to enter a world unlike the one you find yourself burdened with, and move your body toward nothing but a prayer that time might slow down." - Hanif Abdurraqib, A Little Devil in America

Guys, I'm gonna need a minute.

HAIL!

"Geaux Blue!" from south Louisiana.

I gave up alcohol for Lent, so tonight it kinda feels like I'm pourin one out for the Lord

Just over-reacted awkwardly in a social situation. So I'll be psychoanalyzing this moment for the next 37 years thanks.

It's good to be known 🤗

Sometimes I just need to sit alone eating tacos in the Taco Bell parking lot and contemplate the vast expanses of the universe

We're going to the Moon today 🚀

BBC pitch idea: She's a [profession that doesn't solve murders], and on the side she solves murders.

There were 26,000 American casualties on Iwo Jima.

Everybody thinks they can write. One of my elitist traits is knowing not many actually do it well.

If you had asked me what a Billiken is I wouldn't have come anywhere near guessing something as awesome as this.

Tonight's low slung moon is a poem in want of words

Every night I stand in my yard & look up at Orion for a minute or two. * * * * * * * But the Hunter is a winter constellation & will soon set. I need a good summer constellation.

A defeat for Purity Culture

Me: Just be chill all right? Peacock: Don't worry, I got it.

One time on a work call I made a comment about how much I hate small talk and a coworker laughed and said, "okay let's talk literature instead." We were fighting about each other's literary opinions within a minute.

Headlines when the US response to Sputnik blew up on the launch pad. We used to have a proper press in this country.

I love that so much of space science is still "smash a rock and see what happens." www.nytimes.com/2026/03/06/s...

Lyft driver: Hi, my name is AU-gus-teen. Me: My brother in Christ, your name is pronounced uh-GUS-tin.

Me, *laughing,* to 11yo: You can't just add "butt cheek" to random phrases to make them funny.

18yo called from college today for dating advice and iwbh I killed it.

I've reached the age where this is my general response to all new web technology

Bump

Breaking Lenten fast on Sundays be like, "I am drinking this bourbon - for the Lord."

Someone explained their support for the attacks in Iran to me today by saying of the President "Clearly he knows what he's doing..."

Sometimes I think AI will take over the world and then I ask my phone how far it is to Alexandria and it gives me directions to Alexandria...Egypt. (instead of the Alexandria 1 hour from where I'm currently sitting)

Me: You should go to sleep. Get some rest. 13yo: Yeah, but what if I stayed up until midnight talking about how I feel exhausted instead?

Bump

18yo, who is at a VERY Presbyterian college, said a bunch of students were having a convo about theology. One of her friends is Orthodox and the other students asked, "well, do you believe in TULIP?" and she said "No, we don't do TULIP, you weirdos!" I don't know her name, but I have a new hero.

Happy Mark Wahlberg's 40 Day Challenge to all who celebrate.

Honorable mention: Latvia

Top 3 hockey jerseys at the Olympics. #3. Clean. Classic. Miracle on Ice style.

Wife bought a book of birds 😍

I kinda like this "shut down specific agencies instead of the whole government" thing.

Damn. Those Swedes man. They know how to sling that rock. 🥌

Destiny is calling

My most old man opinion is that figure skaters should always skate to classical music.

NBC hosting the Olympics from...the Super Bowl...is the most American thing ever.

omg the Tight Ends commercial 😂

At every Olympics I wish there was a normie attempting each event to illustrate how insane this stuff is.

Lindsay Vonn out here skiing Olympic Downhill on a torn ACL. Meanwhile, I stand up from the couch wrong and I'm out for a week.

Have you ever noticed the personal responsibility people never take responsibility for anything?

Me for 3 years and 50 weeks: Canadians are quirky, fun, kind! Great neighbors! No complaints. Me for two weeks during the Olympics.

"there's nothing fake about those abs"