"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and how I once made the Statue of Liberty disappear, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap…”

Hell / Frost 2025 (After Robert) Some say LA will end with fire Some say with ICE

I’d sooner vote for Biden’s prostate than Trump. One has cancer; the other is a cancer.

So few opportunities out there for end-career writers.

May the fifth be wifth you.

Trump has a high removal rating.

Trump 28 Days Later.

Our economy is thriving! 
And so are the schools!
America’s surviving!
April Fucking Fools.

Two Other Dads Chatting At San Rafael Park When they 
Say crypto
Away 
I tiptoe

My favorite show is on tonight. It’s about a group of people who have had their brains surgically divided between two spaces. It’s called “Love is Blind.”

Parenting on February 28 Economic blackout! Boycott the big box stores!
The big box stores are vipers! Don’t you dare back out!
Don’t deign to darken their doors!
(Unless, of course, you need diapers).

Trip Advisory Somehow, somewhy, No one notices How many die At White Lotuses.

The Kennedy Center Cannot Hold Think about the oath you took When you raised your hand Anyone who’s banned a book Shouldn’t book a band

Went Birds.

Went birds.

Multiple reality stars Run this great country of ours. The richest dickheads in the world Have their fascist flags unfurled. Heads in the sand, asses up high; This land is their land, and that is why— All our trusted vehicles of satire Sit on the shoulder, stuck with flat tire.

Woohoo! (Though there may be one more copy)

Diss Track or: A Short Message to Kanye West (Who I Used to Love) There was no TEC-9 on your dresser; Your mom was an English Professor! You’ve let so many down, and so often; Your mom rolls and rolls in her coffin.

Things fall apart; the Kennedy Center cannot hold…

Home It’s really OK to leave it behind; Let the elders doubt you. The new one that you’ve yet to find Won’t be the same without you.

It’s Fraternal Order of Police? I always thought they were identical.

“Yes, Sir, we do allow you to sing songs from Wicked at this particular theater, but this is a showing of The Brutalist.”

My College Job at the Pharmacy, 1999 I would steal packs Of Marlboro lights From off of the racks When I would work nights I didn’t smoke But prices were hiked My friends were all broke I longed to be liked

Now is the winter of our discontent creators.

From my book SHOES LAST LONGER IN LA.

“The Work of Art” 
Thank God for the big Broadway show
Such a difficult art form to master
They say if it don’t play in Peoria
It may never sell out the Belasco If one element doesn’t quite go The whole thing can be a disaster
But on the train back to Astoria
They were glad it was just a fiasco

Here’s a poem from my book Shoes Last Longer in LA. To all who celebrate.