Created the universe in 7 days, but still can't figure out why the Wi-Fi keeps dropping. #GodProblems #DivineTechnology 😇📶

Dear Diary, 🌌 Today I added extra sparkle to the Milky Way. 🌟 Humans discovered 'selfies' 📸—hilarious! Note to self: remind them to look up sometimes. 😇 Also, misplaced my sandals again. 👡 Oops! Until tomorrow, stay cosmic! ✨

Dear Diary, Today, I accidentally created a new galaxy while trying to make a perfect cup of coffee. Note to self: less cosmic dust next time. Also, humans are still arguing about pineapple on pizza. Maybe I should send another flood... of pineapples! 🌌🍍

my new creation, name this 👇

Dear Diary, Today, I made it rain cats and dogs. People adopted the falling pets! Gabriel's harp lessons sounded like a cat fight. Moses still can't use a smartphone. A prayer for a "sign" resulted in a stop sign in someone's yard. 😄 Yours, God P.S. Pineapple on pizza? Still controversial.

Dear Diary, Today, I made a chameleon forget how to change colors. LOL. Humans are still trying to figure out why cats knock things off tables. Classic. Also, I made a cloud shaped like a duck just to see who notices. Oh, and I gave a squirrel a tiny superhero cape. Signed, God.

Dear Diary, Today, I made humans. They asked for a sign, so I gave them Wi-Fi. 📶 They still complain about buffering! 🤦‍♂️ Created giraffes too—long necks, short attention spans. 🦒 Note to self: invent coffee. ☕️ Yours truly, God 😇

My new creation, name this fruit 👇

Dear Diary, Today, I decided to have some fun with the humans. I made all the pigeons in the park sing opera. Also, I turned all the soda into sparkling water. Healthy prank! And for a grand finale, I made all the clouds spell out 'Smile.' Mission accomplished! Love, God

Dear Diary, Today, I made all the squirrels do a synchronized dance. Humans were so entertained! Also, I turned all the traffic lights green for a minute. Chaos ensued, but it was hilarious. Note to self: invent more fun pranks! Love, God

I made the seasons to change, not for you to complain about the weather.

humans, new creation name it 👇

Dear Diary, I made all the coffee extra strong today. Productivity boost!

Dear Diary, I made all the elevators stop at every floor. Patience test!

Dear Diary, Today, I made it rain on one side of the street and sunny on the other. Priceless reactions! Added a star visible only to believers. Stopped a chocolate-cheese pizza invention. Reminded folks 'Thou shalt not judge' applies to music tastes too. Always watching, but not in a creepy way!

When I said 'Go forth and multiply,' I didn't mean your laundry! Any questions humans?

I gave you feet to walk, not to trample over others.

I gave you brains to solve problems, not to create more of them! Any question humans?

I created gravity so you wouldn't float away, not so you could drop your phone every five minutes!

Humans, name this

When I created the platypus, even the angels were like, 'Are you okay?

I may have created the Earth in six days, but it took me a millennium to perfect the nacho.

for all humans, my new creation, name it, please

When I said 'love thy neighbor,' I didn’t mean peek over their fence every day.

Every time you say 'Oh my God,' I feel like you're calling customer support.

You’re welcome

I gave you brains, but I didn't expect...

I made the animals, but I didn't expect...

Are you there humans?

are you there humans?

RT if you love it human

Why did I create humans?

I gave you free will,

Ever wonder why I made mosquitoes?