James Bond saves the world And gets the girl. They’re in bed. The villain? He’s dead.

Feathers McGraw breaks The law; Wallace and Gromit Are quickly on it.

Babs wiggles, Ken gasps, Sid sniggers, Hattie laughs. Oh, What a Carry On!

The hills are alive. The kids survive; forever Seen Von Trapped on screen.

Laurel and Hardy Way out west, black and white in Another fine mess.

Next week on British Haiku: Films Haiku on that theme will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku on Classical Music have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

“Who’s the buffoon on Second Bassoon? You’ve played the Whole thing out of tune!”

In the allegro He lost his grip, and hit them With his rhythm stick.

Tchaikovsky’s Fifth’s a Masterclass of percussion Woodwind, strings and brass.

String quartet. Yvette’s Upset. She’s wed to Nate, who’s Sharp and comes in late.

His paino playing Is off the scale. (And no, my Spelling has not failed).

Next week on British Haiku: Classical Music Haiku on that theme will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku on Danger have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

What were the last words To pass his lips? “Hey, there’s a Sign here: ‘DANGER: CLIFFS’”

The loose wheel squeaking, I’m afraid, just made him tweak His new hearing aid.

Now he has jumped he Feels like a numpty; with no Plan on how to land.

They topped the big ride, They lurched wide eyed; then screamed so Hard they nearly died.

Could he outrun the Bear?…..Wait…..Could he outrun the Slowest person there?

Next week on British Haiku: DANGER! Haiku on the theme of Danger will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku on Pub Philosophy have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

Girls who wear glasses Will often get passes in Evening classes.

When he lived more as He should, he found less mess to Clear up afterward.

Maidens, kids, castles, Dinners and days. All ruined, But in different ways.

The emptiness of The empty nest may challenge Those who have been blessed.

Wolves in sheep’s clothing Can be found; but many more The other way round.

Next week on British Haiku: The Pub Philosopher Pieces of pub wisdom will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku on Religion have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

His hope never died For he knew, deep inside, that The Lord would provide.

Knaves in graves in naves (Or perhaps it’s in apses?) In cold cathedrals.

Silence is golden In Quaker Meeting Houses. All things considered.

Church steps worn by the Passed, who still reside outside. But under the grass.

Pockets of people Filled with kindness heaven sent, Earned and freely spent.

Next week on British Haiku: Places Of Worship A haiku on that theme will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku on Cricket have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

The Surrey bunch were Out by lunch, Kent got lots, and It’s raining at Notts.

So you’re a spin fan? Off? Leg? Chinaman? Warne or Muralitharan?

Idle to runway. Mighty growl. Surge to top speed, Take off.….and then bowl.

Tipples and ripples Of applause at Lords; beers and Cheers at Headingley.

First ball he misses, Second he nicks, but third he Slogs a mighty six.

Next week on British Haiku: Cricket A haiku on that theme will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku At The Art Gallery have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

La Giaconda Ponders Louvre queues, bemused. Smiling, beguiling.

Museum of Art. He stops and frowns. That Pollock’s Painting’s upside down.

He lost his specs but Caught the gist - and found he was An impressionist!

Caught in time of old Still life in brown where once was Found a novel gold.

Picasso painted A lovely face … with all its Bits in the wrong place.

Next week on British Haiku: In The Art Gallery A haiku on that theme will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku on Trees have been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

Ripple and shimmer, Poplar trees; go whisper your Secrets to the breeze.

Trees and sunshine play In glades as walkers saunter Down the woodland way.

Strong evening sunshine Dapples apples as it glints Through breeze ruffled leaves.

Spread out skywards in Relief, bare branches mirror Roots spread far beneath.

Borne on the breeze from Sycamore trees come twisting Helicopter seeds.

Next week on British Haiku: Trees A haiku on that theme will be posted each weekday, here and on www.britishhaiku.com Last week’s haiku “In The Bedroom” been stored on the ‘Previous Haiku’ page on www.britishhaiku.com, with all haiku posted on previous themes. Best wishes to all.

Woken by thunder. Will it pour? No - Jim next door Is having a snore.

Midsummer mornings Through bedroom blinds. Five a.m.? Six? Seven? Eight? Nine?