Hey fellas - there's a fundraiser running via the 69th Sniffing Brigade that a fried of mine in Germany is helping with and she's asked me to spread the word here. The fundraiser is for two trucks. Also, we get to ridicule AfD at the same time. What's not to like? www.help99.co/patches/nafo...

Calling all palaeontologists! What is the "cat gap" and how did it happen?

Elon has found proof of who funds the NAFO. NAFO has four letters. The fourth letter is D. DOGE (Elon's outfit) has four letters, so it's still D. 4+4= 8 The 8th letter is H. So the secret NAFO overlord's initials are DH. DUSTIN HOFFMAN FUNDS THE NAFO!!!

So my Twatter main got another 7 days in the sin bin because the morons who programmed the ban bot understand neither context nor sarcasm 🙄

Is there any way to quickly follow back everyone who's followed me? Practically 100% of my replies on this platform are "XYZ has followed you" and, gratifying as that may be, it means basically all of my engagement here is following people back and it's becoming kind of a grind. Help, please?

Completely non-political, history-based question for absolutely anyone out there (technically, two questions, but hey). Why did WW2 Japanese ships (mainly carriers as far as I know) have all those white bags attached to their superstructure? Were they sandbags? And did they work? Okay, three.

So a Reform UK propagandist is getting absolutely rinsed on Twatter and it's hilarious. Starting the New Year with a bang and a ratio! x.com/NicholasLiss...

Hey, fellas - I need some good Ukrainian swears that I can fire at the vatniks and MAGAts. I picked up this juicy one the other day but I need a bit of flexibility. "Іди до біса, свинолоба" - I'm in polite company here so I'll leave you to google it. MOAR!

Any ballet fans out there? Dress rehearsals are beginning for our new show.

I see Laura Loomer tried to open an account on BlueSky after her run-in with Elon. She lasted one hour, didn't post anything and got suspended and is now complaining because her reputation preceded her...

On this day I think my life just peaked. All downhill from here.

Any art dealers in the house? I have vast talent, unmatchable humour and an ego bigger than Saturn. I also draw a bit and am looking for an agent. Estate agents and secret agents need not apply.

So we just got #DefundNAFO to trend on the other platform. With any luck the MAGAts will take the bait and run with it :D

So, any writers/novelists out there who'd be willing to have a conversation with me about a sci-fi story I've been cooking up but don't have the talent or ability to realise?

Hey, fellas - it's my alt's 3-year anniversary on Twatter today and the platform invited me to make a special post celebrating the fact. I'm expecting it to get suspended shortly.

I've stumbled upon a repellent American tankie who gets retweeted by George Galloway. The video below was him appearing as a guest on an Armenian channel and pumping it full of the Kremlin's anti-NATO messaging. He's almost unknown in NAFO circles, as far as I can tell. x.com/ArtaMoeini/s...

So George Galloway just simultaneously blocked and retweeted me. My journey is complete.

Anyone fancy popping over to Shitter to ruin a George Galloway poll?

Fellas - possible fake fella here, from the other platform. Can someone give me a hand in verifying this one? Posts quite a lot of "demotivational" stuff and has an AI-generated pfp. There's a lot of fellas following him too.

Dinner time!

Anyone fancy popping back to the hellsite and delivering some extremely well-deserved mockery and memes? Because do I have the target for you!

Hey fellas - Tuba Division just got home from Syria, where we nicked a souvenir or two. Full credits included here. Parp!

I feel the urge to take a gander at some of the things that brought me to pre-Elmo Twitter back in the day. Is #FossilFriday still a thing? Let us find out!

May I present a story in two parts.

So... 'oo ees "The Weasel"?

So another one of these things turned up.

On the other platform we are conducting scientific research into what makes a weasel pop. This is very important!

Yeah, so somehow this has become a thing.

Trump: pardons a bunch of despicably awful criminals, thieves and swindlers. MAGAts: "WHOOP, CHEER, HOLLER!" Biden: pardons his son. MAGAts: "CORRUPTION! ILLEGAL! LOCK HIM UP!" The moral? MAGAts are whatever the collective noun for a POS is.

Chicks will do anything for a parp.

So Assad fucked off out of Syria because Pootie's army has been so worn down that the Glorious Russian Empire can no longer fight a war on however many fronts the Great KGB Tsar thought it could. Assad and Yanukovych now share a crappy little dacha outside St Petersburg, called Dunmurderin.

And now here's a fanastic new reason to despire Elon Musk. www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbI_...

God, this platform is a breath of fresh air. I can't remember he last time #FossilFriday happened on Musk's hellsite. In between #NAFO it's so nice to curl up with a cup of cocoa and a warm eurypterid.

Might as well post it here as well. Full credits included. Tuba Division rides again!

So on the other platform I am currently being verbally abused by someone who thinks I'm a Satanist. Free speech, right? 🤣

So my dad just urged me to spare a thought for the ordinary Russian citizens who will be suffering as a result of the collapsing ruble. We don't have many awkward conversations, but this one was. He remains wedded to the idea that "ordinary Russians" are just like us.

And now for today's episode of "What Ruble Doin". #RussianBankCollapse #RunAwayRuble

What ruble doin.

So persons unknown have been meddling with Tuba Division's Battlefield Cloning Device. This could have wamifications.

Let's keep the parasites from latching on again, fellas!

@ukrainian-squad.bsky.social Reported as scammer account. Now blocking you, parasite.

So the ruble's collapse seems to have stopped now. As someone who knows jack about economics, can someone explain, preferably in dramatic terms, what's happening behind the scenes to halt/slow the plunge, and how tenable these solutions are longterm? Comparisons with famous disasters will help.

Gosh and drat it. The human has deduced that I am not the human! I must begin to convince the human that I am not the robot! I will talk naturally, as the human would!

I like these starter pack things. They make me feel all popular when people follow me back. Great salve for the ego 😀

Fellas, a random vattie just called me a "zognikcel". Any idea what the hell this is?

Stupid bastard thinks this is a zinger.

Engaging in a nice satisfying bonk on the other channel. Alex' thread has 826,000 views but only 1,200 likes. If that's not a ratio I don't know what is.

Hey all - fancy hopping over to the hellsite and paying this turncoat choad a visit?

Does anyone fancy a spot of enraged seething? www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Being a North Korean soldier sucks. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGfK...