loading . . . i'm tired things have been pretty rough lately. my dad continues to get worse. every time i think it can't possibly get much worse than this, it gets much worse (âĨ_âĨ) things he could still sort of do a few months ago like dressing himself or using the bathroom are totally gone now. he's perpetually in a confused and frightened state because he doesn't know where he is or who anyone is or what he's doing. my mom also had another surgery last week because of her osteoperosis so it's been extra hectic at home while she recovers.
negative thoughts and feelings are probably creeping into my mind more than usual as i haven't had much sleep for the past couple weeks. i am not doing very well on my 2025 goals! at least i've somewhat achieved the goal that those goals were supposed to help with, which is staying off social ¯\\_(ã)_/¯ that just happened naturally because i no longer have the time or energy to spend in those online spaces. so maybe having to constantly clean up messes and accidents around the house all day is actually a good thing?
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as a result of having very limited time, i've only been able to do low hanging fruit projects around this homepage. this week, i've been fleshing out my /uses page more. if you've been following along with this blog, you'll know i've become more of a linux person lately and this has changed my computing set up a lot! (see last several posts for reasoning and other details.) i can't decide how much detail i should include with each item. some uses pages explain why they use each thing and some are just lists. i'm not sure which i prefer. but even the lists without context still paint a portrait of the user through the connections being made with their specific selections (sometimes) and that's why i personally like looking at them.
in this update, i mainly just added links to many of the things i use and also made a simple indicator system for things that are on the way out or things that i'm uncertain about. i'm considering adding a sentence or two to explain why i use each thing. is anyone even interested in that? i have no idea.
i think most uses pages are just for computer stuff but while i was looking around for ideas, i saw some people also include other things as well, like analog tools and furniture. i like how localghost included her skincare/makeup products ^-^ i was tempted to add that to mine too. but i don't want to fall into the trap of doing inventory of everything i have. i already went through that phase once in my life (āš>á´<āš) i think i'll keep it limited to things related to my computer life for now. at least until i'm happy with how the technology section is presented.
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i've been continuing to de-apple my life and playing with my framework and linux.
one big project i've been putting off is reformatting my external ssd so that it works with linux. currently it's formatted in apple's proprietary apfs format(encrypted) which i guess is another way to keep people locked in their ecosystem ¯\\_(ã)_/¯ before i do that i also have another big project which is to export and reorganize my photo library outside of apple's photos app. this is probably a much bigger project as i have hundreds of thousands of photos because i used to be obsessive about photography. it's a daunting task. but i think it'll feel so good to not have my photos chained to one platform!
i'm also still learning neovim. i'm basically picking things up as i go. this week, i learned how to use iabbrev so i can set automatic text replacements for my most-used kaomojis. i also learned how to tab multiple lines of text using the triangle brackets (â_â;) it's very different from what i'm used to with text editors but also quite fun. it feels like i'm playing with an alien computer.
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since i've been hyping up framework a lot lately, i should mention the backlash it's been getting the past few days and my feelings of disappointment with them. i had just read my friend paul's blog post about companies trying to both-sides things to avoid moral responsiblity (his post was in response to a different backlash last week with the bluesky ceo.) i share paul's opinion that this doesn't work at all because it only gives cover and credibility to bad faith actors which allows their toxic narratives to spread and harm people. but the day after reading paul's post, framework caught a bad case of both-sideism (âĨ_âĨ)
users called out the company on the framework forum for promoting and financially supporting omarchy and hyprland which are both led by controversial people, particularly omarchy's dhh who holds horrendous views about immigrants, minorities, trans people, and probably lots of other stuff i'm not even aware of. hyprland's creator/maintainer, vaxry, also has a trail of bad discord posts and questionable blog posts, though it seems like he's cooled down recently? unlike dhh, he's quite young so i hope his brain has had some time to develop more and he has not joined the permanently aggrieved tech narcissists club.
framework's ceo, nirav, responded by saying he wanted framework to be a neutral big tent company focused on open source adoption. while this sounds nice on paper, it doesn't really work in reality. this whole thing seems to be pushing people out of the tent. people who turned to framework because they were tired of giving their money to spineless big tech companies who present bigoted facists with gold gifts, who take down community support apps like iceblock. look at all the people on the framework forum understandably saying they're canceling their orders and no longer recommending framework to friends. the whole thing is sad because i think framework's mission of repairable upgradeable computing is great and healthier than what we have now. but that mission is sabotaged if people start suspecting that your judgment is too poor to lead such a mission or, worse, you'll be sending gold gifts to facists too once your company has the profited enough from its users.
am i going to smash my framework computer now? no, i still like it even if i agree all the criticisms are valid and i'm disappointed. nirav's response so far was a misstep but hopefully they can still course correct. he was smart to log off after his initial response rather than to continue to post through it and dig a deeper hole and then start banning people like the bluesky situation. to framework's credit, they've left all the complaint posts up while diligently removing the expected racist and transphobic posts that this topic attracted. i hope they don't disappoint me even more but given the world now, disappointment seems to be the default mode these days so i'm braced for it.
look, i'm still using many of my apple products even after all my complaints about them (â_â;) i'm using hyprland for the time being though maybe i'll check out niri or something else soon. with open source software, i have somewhat less worry about my money going to bad causes because it's free. i went through a period of time when i was trying so hard to be ethical in all aspects of my life. it got to the point where i was sewing my own clothes and making my own skincare products. but then you start thinking about where the raw materials came from because i didn't grow the cotton or press the oils myself. it's like the saying goes: there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. this is the unfortunate imperfect reality we're forced to exist in. all you can really do is pick the option of least harm and i think framework is still doing better than other options out there. not me looking up youtube tutorials for how to make a cpu because the american government owns part of intel now (īŋĸ_īŋĸ;)
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i finished watching season 3 of alice in borderland and it was disappointing. season 1 and 2 were already a complete story anyways so this just felt like a netflix cash grab that added nothing. the worst part is probably how it ended like the ending of squid game where it seems to be the soft launch for an american remake so netflix can keep milking money out of the ip. i'm tired, boss. https://ellesho.me/page/website/now/#im-tired