il mostro on netflix has dope cinematography & a good storyline with an interesting ending if you’re into that kind of thing

my life would be so much easier if I enjoyed eggs sunny side up

watching this weeks #rhoslc makes me so happy for john oliver

can’t believe i actually paid for another chris hedges book to make myself feel bad for watching real housewives of the oligarchy

more believable if he said stupid instead of tired

it’s funny that all he wants to do is tell us how sick he is so we’ll feel sorry for him but it’s the one thing he absolutely cannot do

did not expect this much sports chat at the end of the world

dear media ‘i don’t know about it’ is an unacceptable answer coming from anyone in a leadership position & ITS YOUR JOB to remind them

i feel like we have not taken advantage of the fact that both trump & elon are dependent on diet coke & denying them access could cripple them instantly

tbf it does take an 80-100 work week to be the absolute worst person imaginable

3 i atlas coming all this way to tell us to stop doing the time change bit

the only ones not working but getting paid are congress

when we lived in tn the poorest homes were covered in trump signs. wonder if this cliff will hit them hard too

if we are planning on j-sixing the ballroom i call dibs on leaning my confused grandmother in the hallway

five ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ review & a bloody 👍🏻from world’s worst personlike being who definitely sleeps perched upside down

guys guys guys maybe they just needed to wash their stankass breath masks, unused body armor & shit stained britches

do you think he’ll pardon ghislaine in time for the ball

i don’t even need a utopia just a basic civilization where the worlds worst humans were not allowed to enact their worst ideas

me visiting rock city

maybe if we pass her story along to enough people it will be the beginning of the end of these monsters time in power

i blame the whitehouse aide who showed him bridgerton

me in the car line drop off watching a dad absolutely blow it

does this motherfucker even dance?

bet elon would emerge from his chest cavern if you say subsidies 3 times in the mirror

men will fear nothing more than women laughing at them & then make up dumb shit like dArK ELighTenMenT

emotional whiplash welling up with tears watching the best of america protest the worst of america posting bad ai so bad his voters won’t even believe it happened

it’s 2 hours out from my 7yos big halloween themed birthday & the party planner is giving major fyre fest vibes

greta thunberg got sexually assaulted in prison protesting genocide & i just hard cried over hosting my kids birthday party at my house

my huzbin has been calmly explaining in detail his new video game for at least ten minutes & i think it’s the answer to dissociating into a completely different dimension

yaaaaaaaaaaasssss

is it just me or is jd vance getting less charismatic i mean how deep is this bottom

gahdamn those hairy jowls will say anything

ah. angel/devil jesus as seen in cartoons political theory behind this utter tailspin

or what?

it’s fine for the comedians to play off their performance as a human rights mission for an oppressed people as long as they give the money back…they are giving the money back, right?

walk backwards through the foggy forest until you bump into a withered old oak, knock four times & a gnome will appear with a riddle, solve the riddle & the gnome will give you a scroll with your first of several tasks… - trying delete my 23&me data

update it was super fun & super international. when they started cabaret performance i realized how hardcore american women are because we would instead end the evening at the strip club a la atlanta & nee orleans with discount drink & great air conditioning

update: the 3rd grade moms posted this in the chat & im officially scared

guys guys guys im feeling pretty intimidated & vulnerable ive been invited to a 3rd grade ‘mums night’ at our barcelona international school & dinner starts @ 9pm & they are going to a nightclub after & this is on a THURSDAY

amy mcgrath’s problem is that for the stupid women of ky to support her (& they need the stupid women to offset the stupid men) they have to want to BE her & as of now they look at her & say i don’t like ‘at lesbian in the leather jacket she thinks she’s better than me bc she can fly’n ugly airplane

me when i break from all the bullshit & take a little time for myself

at the gym impressing the fuck out everyone with my 8 minute treadmill mile

The idea of tweeting wise content is simple but actually tweeting wise content is staggeringly difficult

the 6yo’s bday is around halloween & when i asked him what kind of cake he wants he said one with bones in it ☠️☠️☠️

fear is totally hideous incarnate

getting results back from our does having a lot of money turn you into a piece of shit experiment comedy edition & it looks like it’s a resounding yes once again

men will be all what we NEED is a WARRIOR culture & then be too timid to take a shit in a restaurant bathroom after brunch

listen up u.s. military. im about to teach you a thing or two about respect

confident that if they could, cats would smoke cigarettes