Working closing shift tonight. I want my 2 days off to happen now. :(

Brock from Pokemon is going to Brock you like a hurricane against fire types.

I'm going to steal your pizza. Domino's cannot stop me because I have pizza power.

*headpats*

Fuck working today.

I don't feel sore from unloading boxes this week as I did last week. Am I getting stronger or no?

rawr

Merge two movies: Baby Taxi Driver

I am made of pasta. Eat my macaroni cock!

I just came. *furry audience claps* No reall, I just did. Stop clapping. *Audience cheers harder* I’m single.

Time to hydrate.

You want cum, but don’t want to have sex to get it? Introducing…PENIS JUICE! The only edible non-sexual cum approved by the FDA! *Not available in the Bible Belt.*

ah true it's pride again so it's now MANDATORY to be gay

I accidentally rick rolled myself today...

Happy Pride Month! A gay a day keeps the god away. Also Jesus is a bottom. :P

I have officially changed my fursona’s name to Trent Newton. “Broken Collie” doesn’t fit me anymore and it was time for me to change it.

Got up at 3:30 AM. I’m turning into an early bird. Nooooooooo!

Trent Newton is winning out in the new fursona name department so far. Not a final decision yet but I'll wait a day or two. Just to be sure.

I feel tired and nervous today. I just want work to be over with this afternoon.

Hey everyone, here is a boundary I'm going to use from now on regarding DMs: 🟢 (Green) = You can DM me about anything right now/ Willing to DM everyone 🟡 (Yellow) = Ask to DM first/ Limited People for DMs 🔴 (Red) = Do Not Disturb/Do not DM me/Not willing to DM right now.

I might use a sticky note that says “Do NOT disturb. Only open if there’s an emergency.” on my door. This will only be used when I’m overwhelmed and don’t want to talk.

Saturday please don’t fast forward all day. Thank you!

I don't trust anyone whose net worth reaches a certain amount of zeroes. Even if you mean well, you either sold out or were a poseur to begin with.

*boops*

I want to be in a nap pile where I sleep with everyone else in said pile.

I have decided to become a sperm cell again.

I want pizza

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I’m embracing the vibes of 2010 Twitter and posting about me taking a shit on the toilet.

Horny. In the mood for daddy energy.

Breaking News: Local magician by the name of “Jesus Christ” dies from getting nailed to a piece of wood. Roman soldiers then drink wine, the blood of Christ which is honestly metal as fuck. In conclusion, Jupiter is my sky daddy. I’d let him fuck me like he does everyone else.

Bedtime. Now!

I hate working. Bleh.

Big Bird will die from a myocardial infarction on July 26th.

Watching the original Star Trek series for the first time. Very old-timey Hollywood acting. :P

What if we fucked in the McDonald’s mosh pit?

If you were a Habsburg in the 17th century “daddy’s cummies” has a very different meaning.

Late 13th century conclaves and Pope successions were beautifully hilarious disasters.

4 years ago, 4 years had passed.

At the White House 4th of July party someone should bring lots of cherries and iced milk. The current administration is way too nostalgic for the past so technically this is holding true to that. Also no one there washes their hands because the FDA and health departments are useless. 1850 party!

Murrsuit sex. I can’t help you there but do have dick pics every few months.

I’m considering changing my fursona’s name to “Mark Newton.” I’m not 100% on it yet but I have outgrown the Broken Collie name. It’s just time to change it.

Tumblr would have loved King Diamond tbh.

Counting all the rice in a giant bag. Wish me luck.

@orthrusargos.bsky.social would absolutely sit on someone’s lap and cuddle them all day. He radiates friend energy.

angy doggo

Work in an hour. Please give me money and have me go home. I want to not think.

Things got really shitty once we did away with human sacrifices. 😞

Repost with the Russian agent that spies on your posts.