I guess they unbanned my original account at some point? Imma just keep this one in my back pocket for the next time it happens I guess.

I only deal with neighbors on fae rules. Like, if you want your cat back leave six chicken and three duck eggs in the mushroom circle and I'll let him back out at moonrise.

There's no better revenge on siblings than their kids thinking you're the coolest shit in the universe and declaring that they're also going to live in a bus and get paid to play videogames and read comic books.

overhearing the kids talking about the sans fight in undertale and I just blurted out "you'd have to be some kind of dick to want to fight sans" and their mortification followed by excitement was exactly like when I had a couple of hispanic coworkers and they realized I could understand spanish

I'm gonna do robberies wearing a domino mask and prison stripes while carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it so anyone who gives a description sounds like a crazy asshole.

The manual is all "turn these knobs in exactly this position and then turn on the pumps" okay done "... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you" *dead, covered in hot shit* Well, fuck.

gonna drink beer on my beach all day like a lazy piece of garbage

oh thank god

Fucking around on Hinge like no, I really just want someone to watch cartoons and play videogames with. No, I'm like fifty. Yes, I know what twitch is. Listen, do you like Adventure Time? Also, do you have a car? I want to firebomb a concentration camp... Hello? ... Hello?

I love how if you wake up and take a slug of whiskey it's a problem, but if you have a glass of chardonnay by the pool at noon it's cute. Anyway I'm doing both.

I like to pretend I'm a nice person but my inner mister rogers died years ago. Nuremberg trials would be great. Flensing and scaphing would be better. We need some kind of stasis technology to keep the pigshit wannabe king alive and screaming as an example forever.

If I had a nickel for every time a star trek season cliffhanger resolved with "put them to sleep" I'd have two nickels, but at least last time they weren't hanging from the cliff for two fucking years.

I feel like I should sign up and then just fuck around on my phone until they fire me. I feel like maybe we should all do that.

When you've been told for years that dating sites are hell and men never get matches, so you put up a half-assed profile like "Hi, I'm a traumatized autistic queerdo that lives in a bus" and get shitloads of messages in like an hour. Then you look at every other dude on there like oh. Ooooh.

I like new star traks but turning gorns into like, ALIEN$ aliens is silly as shit. I'm never gonna take this guy seriously no matter how much goopy cg slime you put on him still want that mylar shower curtain BBQ apron tho

this new star trek has a bit where Carol Kane is chewing out Scotty for not writing things down while he's jerry rigging shit basically what I hear when I'm kicking my own ass cus I can't figure out how I made something work a year ago and now it's just crazy person shit that runs on magic

Love finding a video where they're talking about exactly where you live like it's the surface of the moon. All "how do people live here? what are they like?" while you pass a joint with a pack of coyotes gathered around the screen like yeah tell me bro I wanna know.

I mostly wish computers would stop trying to guess what I want but sometimes it's like do you need ten hours of ambient klingon spaceship noises to fall asleep to and yes that would be great thanks

dude just rattled off my dream blunt rotation and then after a pregnant pause he fucking windmill dunked that last name

why is everything in my house a cursed artifact

Nevermind the existential angst. The worst cat ever showed up, everything is fine.

Binging on old "unknown author" demoscene archives and it's wild not knowing who it was that squeezed this shit out of a budget sound chip designed in 1981. Some German kid that's now in his 60s just got a chill like someone walked over his grave.

Tinkering with a game idea and trying to decide whether I should make something that'll run on an actual C64 or do it with a modern engine and limit myself to the same vibes without the actual technical limitations. Like buying a fast horse and blowing its legs off for aesthetic reasons.

I once got a ride home from a random dude in a dune buggy who was just like "Get in." Then he tore ass all over nob hill while shouting over a megaphone "GAVIN NEWSOM IS DEAD! I KILLED HIM! I'M AN AXE MURDERER! VOTE FOR GRASSHOPPER!" I had to tuck and roll as we passed my apartment. Dude rocked.

Scrolling while the sonic running out of air music plays in your head on an endless loop.

Slowly driving by a Gamestop and yelling "he gets a really big banana at the end of the game probably" and then rear-ending a parked Honda Civic

Taking a break from freelance killing AI trash for a korean megacorp to time travel back to 1990 and kick my twelve year old ass for thinking cyberpunk was cool.

good night

I've taken to sherlocking b&b owners like, I can tell from the needlessly scalloped kleenex emerging from this box that they're mormons, between 60-70 yrs old, they have three kids, two of which don't speak to them anymore, a yorkie named Princess, and a disused sailboat rotting in the driveway.

That part of a Civ game you've been playing way too long where you maxed out the tech tree so you're researching "future technology 17" that doesn't actually do anything but gives you points you don't need.

One of the batteries in my stack was melting down last night and somehow I was posting this shit. I don't know if I noticed the lights dimming or a change in the background hum but I FUCKING KNEW. Couldn't sleep so I started checking things and one of them was hissing like a creeper about to pop.

I feel that there def could be a place for a horror game that is less "there's a monster on your spaceship that will definitely kill you" and more "your spaceship made a weird noise that's probably nothing but you haven't heard it before and it could maybe kill you if you don't figure it out."

wait we're all just meat puppets riding a rock through space, eatin hot dogs and rippin bong hits? Fuck That! Get in the car we're killing God right now.

was like goddammit since when do you have a kid old enough to smoke weed behind a tree but realize I read my god daughter as "my god, daughter"

want to take all the cool people and do whatever the neurdivergent queerdo version of going galt is. just fuck off and be star trek. later losers, have fun with the fascism and AI art. luxury gay space communism for some, miniature american flags for others.

gonna start calling Myst a "Boomer Metroidbrainia" just to stir up shit

watching anything with a happy-go-lucky weirdo troubleshooter that lives in a boat or a trailer on the beach or a time traveling phone booth or whatever but they actually have crippling PTSD and a substance problem

Taking that shit back to France

The sunsets out here are something else though. Gonna miss these if I freak out and run off somewhere again.

Today is not the fucking day for this shit.

Love it when you go to take a pill for a panic attack but your hands are shaking so bad they fly everywhere, like Captain Kangaroo except the ping pong balls are xanax.

Fuck am I gonna be pleased when these shitheads become acceptable PG-13 bad guy cannon fodder, then annoyed when their caricatures are breakdancing and posing for photos with kids at disneyland.

Blunder years.

fuckin mood