"As we learn, sexual harassment is not about sex…it’s about power." (Andrew) "Sexual harassment doesn’t work unless YOU GOT POWER!" (Eric) "You can’t sexually harass on water! UNLESS YOU GOT POWER!" -Disclosure

"Trump watched this movie, and was like, ‘Well, we need a Space Force if there’s a sexy lady on the moon.’" (Steve) "We can’t be having these fucking DEI space women on the moon." -Superman II

"That whole first movie is just him being like, ‘You don’t like what I’m doing? Well, go take it up with the Captain.’ It’s that kind of cocky behavior that makes Gary Busey so envious that he becomes a traitor to his country." -Under Siege 2

"The Blob’s power is that he’s indestructible." (Steve) "So he’ll live forever - the world will end and he’ll be sitting outside the gates of heaven." (Eric) "No, dude, that guy is contracting adult-onset diabetes." -X-Men Origins: Wolverine

"What would happen if you found out I secretly had bone claws?" (Steve) "Well, you’re about the height of Wolverine, so…" -X-Men Origins: Wolverine

"We got not only Toy Story 4, but Toy Story 5, because that fucker was like, <grunt noise> ‘Yeah, we’re doing one!’ And then the internet exploded, so Disney was like, <grunt noise> ‘Look, I guess he was right!’" -Gleep Glossary: Biggs Darklighter

"What is the UK equivalent of Applebees’s? If you don’t know what an Applebee’s is, you’re already better than us." "Think of something like McDonald’s, but there’s a waiter, for some reason." (Eric) -Tarzan the Ape Man

"Listen, we do enough shows currently; someone else please feel free to start ‘Horny History’ - I’ll totally listen to it." -Tarzan the Ape Man

"I have to raise the question: John Derek, Hollywood’s biggest cuck? Because this whole thing is like, ‘I’m going to watch my wife get fucked!’" -Tarzan the Ape Man

"Actually, it’s not, because Doomsday’s in 20 minutes of the movie and doesn’t wear a cool space outfit and doesn’t fight the fucking Justice League, one by one by one, and...yeah." (Steve) "Steve’s turning as red as this t-shirt." -WHM Mailbag (4.28.16)

"'Here you go, baby - let’s ring in the New Year with peanut brittle, The Honeymooners, and Bud Light!' Oh, cool, a late Christmas present: divorce papers!" -Back to the Future

"The narrator is played by Frasier’s David Hyde Pierce…why? Who did he see murdered that he had to be blackmailed into doing this movie?" -The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human

"I feel like I kind of forgot that crunchy peanut butter existed." (Eric) "I just don’t need that kind of mouth excitement when I got peanut butter going on." -Once in a Lifetime: Host Frosty

"Is there like a Poke planet where they’re all gently grazing and living among each other? And then the humans kidnap them like, ‘Fucking fight each other!’" -Animation Damnation: Pokemon

"After Christmas morning, we’re done." (Steve) "Give me some pie, let me take a shit, and go to bed." -Jingle All the Way 2

"Miss Piggy and Kermit finally fuck, and they have children somehow. It’s the Lady and the Tramp method where the girls are her and the boys are him. But you gotta have half-pig/half-frogs." (Steve) "Can I just interject and offer up: No, you don’t." -Muppet Christmas Carol

"What if he was dressed like sexy Michael Myers? Would that do anything for you?" (Steve) "Steve, are you saying that you were jerking off to this movie earlier today?" -Once in a Lifetime: Hot Frosty

"Eyebrow Aficionado Magazine - it’s always either Peter Gallagher or Martin Scorsese." (Steve) "Is it monthly or weekly, Steve?" "Weekly is a LOT." (Chelsea) -While You Were Sleeping

"He picks up this picture, which looks like a terrible Photoshop. They couldn’t get these four people together for an afternoon?" (Steve) "It looks like a fucking unskilled Girl Scout made it." -The Bucket List

"One of my favorite things is the title card of this movie - there’s an illustration of Santa, and it looks like he’s skanking. He’s got a leg out and the arms are going." -It's a Wonderful Life

"Who do you think likes Christmas more, Shane Black or Tim Burton?" (Steve) "Tim Burton, but in an unhealthy way. Tim Burton jerks off on Christmas." -Lethal Weapon 4

"Morgan Freeman just likes working, he likes getting out of the house. Maybe he hates his family?" -The Bucket List

"Karen Gillan from Doctor Who." (Steve) "Remember, Steve - everyone on this show has American citizenship. We’re not legally allowed to give a shit about Doctor Who." -Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

"Did you ever see photos of Christmas during the Great Depression? That’s what Paulie dressed up like Santa looks like." -Rocky V

"She carries her presents in the sleeves of this sweater. It’s the best. This is something I aspire to in my winter wardrobe: sweaters that are big enough to store my Christmas presents in." (Chelsea) -While You Were Sleeping

"Look out, because I’ll do this whole podcast in rhyme." (Steve) "Yeah, alright, I’ll wait." "Umm, this movie…stinks a lot…so much so…it makes me want to fart a lot?" (Steve) "You realize people are paying for this, right?" -How the Grinch Stole Christmas

"Can you guys tell me: What is the actual definition of ‘edgelord’?" "It’s a dude who is trying to be edgy to impress people." (Steve) "That’s what I figured, but I didn’t know if edging was also involved." -Life Itself

"If you’re going to do a crossover, Death Wish with Chucky." (Chris) "And you could mash up the titles of the two franchises, while confusing people - it’s called Child’s Wish. It’s a bunch of people going to the theater thinking it’s some heartwarming Jesus shit." -Child's Play (live)

"Billy Eichner is gay, and he’s cool, so that’s what we’re talking about." (Steve) "Billy Eichner is gay. He’s…*kind* of cool." -Life Itself

"You know how you know we’re off to a roaring start with this movie? The opening title sequence is in Comic Sans." -The Good Son

"They should have released a Chunk Cut. Like, you’re seeing chunks come off people." (Chris) "Oh, I see. I thought you were saying there’s a cut of this movie where the fat kid from The Goonies is running around doing shit." -RoboCop 3 (live)

"I think you’re thinking of Thor. I think you’re mistaking Jesus for Thor." (Steve) "You know what? I do it all the time. Chris Hemsworth is my god." -Animation Damnation: Rudolph's Shiny New Year

"So I’d never seen this before and had no idea this thing existed, and let me tell you something: What the fuck?" -Animation Damnation: Rudolph's Shiny New Year

"He thought the horrible headaches and blurred vision were just stress. And I was like, ‘Hey, asshole, you’re 12 years old - you’re not stressed about anything!’" -The Book of Henry

"I had a contentious relationship with my 6th grade teacher." "Were you a little class clown?" (Eric) "I was a bit of a fucking jerk. Sixth grade was when I found out getting laughs was an easy way to make people pay attention to you, and this poor woman bore the brunt of that."

"No, I’ve never known a single genius in my life." <Steve clears his throat> "Well, you know me." (Eric) "Yeah…the point stands." -The Book of Henry

"I’m sorry, did you just refer to someone being born as ‘hot out the hole’?" -The Book of Henry

"I’ve loved Naomi Watts since the first frame of Mulholland Drive, but this is the stupidest, most incompetent, dipshit character she’s ever played." -The Book of Henry

"It’s Fargo sex. It’s just two dudes in a room having sex with their respective ladies, and apparently it’s not group sex." (Steve) "It’s just a poorly-attended orgy at that point." "It’s group sex-adjacent." (Eric) -Fargo

In fact, I saw him in-person TWICE at different Miami restaurants and both were very knife-forward—a hibachi place, and the local chain Chicken Kitchen.

"Chelsea has some story about how in the ‘90s, when O.J. got off, he moved to Miami, and they saw him at a hibachi restaurant. What ultimate culinary trolling that is - to go to a knife-forward restaurant." -Law Abiding Citizen

"You just go, ‘Hey, buddy, you got the wrong number.’" (Eric) "‘Yeah, nobody in this house makes promises, except to fuck while Perfect Strangers is on.’" -It (1990)

"Kids, just smoke weed. It’s not gonna kill you, and by the time you’re old enough to do it, it’s going to be legal anyway." -Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

"Linda Hamilton is like your aunt at Thanksgiving who is like, ‘FINE! I’ll go smoke on the porch!’" -Terminator: Dark Fate

"You know what, you can say ‘I think Chris Cabin saw that movie’ about most movies. ‘Oh, you should come over and check out my vacation videos.’ ‘Oh, I think Chris Cabin saw those!’" (Steve) "Yeah, he gave it a two-star review. Your vacation sucked. ‘You went to...the beach?’"

"Here’s my question about this Batman: He says Gotham is safe and doesn’t need him anymore. If you succeeded and eliminated crime from Gotham, that’s cool, but why are you a weird shut-in with super-long hair and a Peter Bogdanovich neckerchief?" -The Flash (live)

"She goes to a health spa and gets sexually molested by James Bond." (Steve) "As was the fashion at the time." -Never Say Never Again

"If you didn’t know these dudes were German terrorists, they’d make a really good American hair metal band." -Die Hard

"Rusty Ryan, Rob Ryan's brother. The third Ryan. It's Rex, Rob, and Rusty." (Steve) "Yeah, and they all have foot fetishes." -Ocean's Twelve

"I remember that about you - you’ve never used Selsun Blue." (Eric) "I still haven’t. I’ve never had a dandruff problem." "Wow, little rich boy over there." (Steve) "Listen - some of my hair might be falling out, but my scalp’s never fallen out." -Ocean's Twelve