💖

AHEM: bellies 🥵🫠🥰

Insert “you could suck on my chili dog” joke here

Vintage kinky 🚬 fit incoming

I only post Grindr screenshots when it’s me trolling bots

Tops- learn to fucking read before you hit me up, I’m begging. My profiles explicitly state I’m not looking for now nor am I bottoming for you. You aren’t the exception, my IBS and past trauma assures you of that

Sorry for the abundance of dog (no I’m not, bark bark bark bark)

💖 Holiday hound 💖

🩷💚

A very merry griftmas to the bots on Grindr- I wish yalls jewelry company was real cause ya bard do like to wear shiny things!

Always longed to own a pair of honk shoo ass pajamas complete w a nightcap and a lil candlestick holder thingy for Christmas. Maybe next year!!

If you’re cold, he’s cold- let me cum inside or however the saying goes

When two gingers fuck I like to call it a brushfire- and it do be mighty cold outside 👀🧡

PUPDATE- pizza rolls and lil debbies cherry cordials did in fact fix me mostly

Had a really good night! So why am I stressy depressy? If these pizza rolls don’t fucking fix me…

Sweet release

On Wednesdays we wear pink 💖

Mind if a nonbinary bard spoke a lil BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK

What the dog doin?

Let’s not talk about why it took me 12 days to cut but boy was this release necessary

Sometimes I have to remember that my core goal of “try to make the brighter place for the folks around me” unfortunately also means me too lol

See me after class

Bard boner

I just told a man he was FUN TO LOOK AT. Pardon me while I melt into the floorboards because WHAT

Bears 🥰

I promise you I do not shorten people’s song, speed them up, or change keys unless you ask me to- you’re just drunk as fuck and incapable of realizing it :)

Let’s see what you got goin on under the hood

Love Halloween but the straight man in a clown suit honking his horn constantly saying “I could be Ed Gein but straight” I could deal without lol

It’s funny how low effort my costume looks given I made my pants, hat, bracelets, and earrings lollllll

Call me a potato cause this bard is BAKED

Inconvenient as fuck that stress makes me hornier lol

I’m literally horny for this brunch plate are you fucking kidding me

DJed for a bit in my hood and- yall I might get glasses just for my hood cause I couldn’t see shit but it ROCKED

Late night bard cock

Bearification of jocks is a gift from Dionysus and Aphrodite- I can’t prove it but I fully stand behind my statement

Praying to the glue gods that this fucking costume dries and stays together for tomorrow

Girl my SOUL is tired

Has someone already made a bottle of poppers called love potion no. 9? Cause that feels like a no brainer

The way I’m going to sit in my jeep in silence and smoke a joint by myself when I’m off

Not me finding a singular doxyprep on the floor in the men’s room 💀 WHOEVER YOU ARE I HOPE YOU STILL TOOK ONE AND YOU HAD THE SLUTTIEST NIGYT 😘🥰

It’s your hit

Sorry for wearing clothes but the disco night fit was really doing it for me tonight ❤️🧡💛🪩

I don’t think we talk enough about what a handsome man that raccoon from over the hedge was, honestly.

What do you mean all the boys walking to the 21 pilots concert wearing bandanas aren’t puppers and good boys who deserve scritches?!?

This fuckin thing

🐯

Some days I’m just along for the ride- and some days the ride is bumpier than others and that’s ok!!

Sorry to be a sad bard but like damn is it tough to be a human and show compassion when ppl wanna debate you using chat gpt because “winning” is more the goal than understanding,

And if not- would you like to? 😈🐶