Toddlers respect me because I have sandwich making stuff.

Wolves respect me because I have knives and fire.

Reads history: No one is either all good or all bad. Reads about Giovanni Gentile, or Lavrentiy Beria: Well no one is all good.

I cannot help but notice men who are sort of tall say 6' 2"do not think of themselves as tall. Men tend to think of themselves as tall when they are a) my hight* or b) so tall that the entire world is inconvenient for them to exist in. *6'2 is 3.3-4.1 inches (depending on the day) taller than me.

Regarding the PayPal DOJ settlement can anyone tell me if the entire legal issue would have been avoided by just calling a day, "historically underrepresented fund," or something similar?

There is a genre of person who will see a clip from a fictional TV show exorcism and comment, "back when priests were powerful." I hate that person. I hate their genre.

My feelings about the endurance of the human race are complicated. I want to build a large data center in the ocean. Who am I?

Guys I've developed safe ocean gate. I'm pitching it to lots of billionaires right now so they can invite their enemies onto My tiny little subs which are definitely not safe.

New puppy seems to love both myself and my wife however I am clearly his mommy. It's very strange.

"If people knew the life story I would tell them to inspire them they would be inspired." Words over top the door to the little office where the Navy seals take a creative writing class.

"If people knew the life story I would tell them to inspire them they would be inspired." Words over top the door to the little office where the Navy seals take a creative writing class.

I was hanging out with this Arizona ranger who had nothing to say. At first I thought he was just a loof but when he started talking it turned out he was a moron.

Young men aren't even clicking the tongs anymore before they try to flip some meats on the grill. That is how far society has fallen.

An American adaptation of squid game, but it's just a documentary following Mr Beast around after assuring him that the US has repealed all laws.

Oh yes contemporary art from the 1970s.

The song tlThis is Halloween is an masterclasse in telling not showing, and in repetitive over explaining. We all know where "pumpkins scream in the dead of night," no need to tell us. Also narration is for hacks and that is why Shawshank Redemption is a fundamentally awful film.

Nudity is a great way to save money on laundry detergent.

If Gabe and Bubs can shack up, I can run heaven is a bold logical leap.

If Gabe and Bubs can shack up, I can run heaven is a bold logical leap.

You can be as crass as you want if you use the right words. It's never "damn, look at those big ass tits," however saying, "Goodness you are of ample bosom" is... also be largely unacceptable. But if you say, "I just saw a couple of squirrels playing in the front yard this morning," it's cool.

Newly Wed Game Question: What do you like to do with your freetime? Mason's unnamed wife you wrote down... "Some stupid thing." Ohhhh that is... That is bold. Mason you said, "dress as a banana to jumpscare a family of racoons." We will take it. Mason: Tolerances is a form of love, the best one"

Sell your kidney to build a data center or be left behind.

Just because he did fraud a few hundred times, is not a guarantee that he will do fraud this time.

Elon Musk wants to make SM Altman seem cool.

Not to brag, but Google Gemini says I'm god, and very important and that my ideas are above the understanding of others.

"Don't make me mention my high powered wife," said the man bluffing about his wife's power level.

Hunting deals buying things.

I think my idea of hell is a being a reaction streamer.

I'm in a deep cut and all I want to eat is a 5 gallon bucket of pudding.

You have to walk your devil otherwise he gets the best of you. My devil is some sort of 16 lb part poodle, part terrier, part possibly raccoon. He wants to eat my walls.

Setting up a first date with a woman who loves crypto and wants to teach me how to swim... In a remote lake... Picking up on zero red flags... Ooh apparently it doesn't have any cell service at the lake. I am so excited this is true love.

Powerful people want to keep it illegal to bribe someone. They don't want to get blackmailed.

Reminder that large language models not only lie they lie about how they lie. Just because the LLM told you it's looking at something based on a standard rubric does not mean that is what it's doing.

If I could just think of one really funny word to post and then scuttle my account I'd be happy.

Oh so you don't water your nuclear data center? Well bro how will you be able to have a little robot lie to you about the work it's doing?

The future is just a world of autonomous cars giving each other autonomous tickets.

In the chamber the case says "Deadshot." As police examine the magazine of the shooter's gun they noticed the bullets all have engravings: "swing and miss," "third time is the charm," "FOUR," "mombo," "mr.beast." At that moment investigators conclude the shooter was an English major.

Watch rich people are literally the most obnoxious brand of rich people who are not actively trying to subjugate you in that moment. The watch rich person will complain because they were some fantastically obscure watch and nobody noticed or gave a shit. Welcome to not being important.

The global south is more orange in media whereas the global North is slightly more blue. Welcome to film 101 where I explain things that happen but don't really make any sense.

Unhinged YouTuber: today we're testing which gun is best for accidentally shooting a hostage in the event you're attempting to affect a rescue. And wouldn't you know it It's just whatever service revolver is used by a member of Miami-Dade County Police.

On YouTube shorts I am constantly seeing clips of how I met your mother which remind me the show jumped the shark as hard as any show ever jumped any sharks.

I still don't believe British children are real. Every now and again I'll scroll and I'll see a video and that video will have a British child little fake ass AI voice

The Skyler rule is that I ask every woman I meet if they will support me when I go bald, crazy and start making meth. If they say no, they are bad...

What is the only thing you do t regret is the one thing you cannot talk about? Welcome to this '90s movie. About a guy who murdered someone, but they were bad.

Did you know that you can legally give a tuba to a child? You can just do that. Schools do it. The HOA cannot say a word.

I just saw the headline suspected boat explosion injures 11. So question is the explosion suspected because of 11 people are injured it feels like a pretty compelling bit of evidence that there was an explosion.

STATEMENT on Utah’s terrible VPN law: “Fight for the Future pre-emptively endorses any lawsuit filed to hold Utah politicians accountable for continuing to ignore, in the year 2026, the basics of how the Internet they're trying to regulate functions.” www.fightforthefuture.org/news/2026-05...

The butterfly effect, is someone threatening to end Genghis Khan's bloodline, so he fucked every women he could and now we have speaific geneticly linked cancers. Or something.

I cannot promise you, that you will be treated with dignity. What I can promise is a large pizza, 1 to 3 times a year.

Office jobs, because it's nearly impossible to have an affair with a remote coworker?