welp

>assassination attempt on Trump >discover feed is all posts from yesterday this app is cooked man

wasn't that far off

yesterday: can't view Twitter logged out today: can't view Twitter logged in tomorrow: they put a tarp over the building so you can't view it even if you're standing right in front of it

isn't it absurdly easy to detect scraping bots and range ban them this makes zero sense

i went to the library and no one knew you

just remembered that time when my wife was in labour and another expectant father was watching family guy, full volume, in portrait mode. while his wife was having contractions

people talk about kids getting too much screen time but 90% of people who have ever lived would think technology is just humanity discovering literal magic you DON'T want your kid using magic???

now is the perfect time to bully @aoc.bsky.social into introducing legislation that mandates social media platforms have to build a tagging system where users self-flag their posts as paid political/product endorsements FTC and FEC have totally dropped the ball here

these are so good wtf. when were people gonna tell me about this

taylor lorenz isn't real, she can't hurt you

posting my script in James Gunn's replies 300 characters at a time until he sends that raccoon after me

always trips me out when someone almost hits you with the exact part of their car that's already damaged wonder what I would look like if all my mistake patterns manifested physically on my body

please share something beautiful for the timeline. here’s my contribution