Anyone near me with just one leg? I have a drawer full of single socks you can have .... #friday

Blasphemous !! Putting soup in a square tupperware is Wrong!! It should be a circle one, which is the shape of soup #food

Im definitely getting wiser as I get older, because these mazes are getting easier and easier

If anyone breaks into my place, I take great comfort in knowing they’ll never get past the 21 pairs of shoes in front of the door #humpday

Because I saw it, you all have to see it Bee showing us his “beenis” #nature

Me, waiting for my food to heat up in the microwave

Hotel maids changing the sheets on February 15th #valentines

If someone stole my identity, I would be like, “Haha now you spend all your money on dumb shit and you’re bad at basketball.”

Sunny Saturday beach walk #dogs

Like, how did this sport even start? - “Yes, you can go tobogganing, but you have to take your little brother with you” #olympics

I know everyone is focused on Valentine’s Day, but can I get a moment of silence for all the pubic hair being sacrificed on the 13th. #valentine

Me, on my first day as a porn star “Could we do this tomorrow, I’m so tired”

In my next life, you might not recognize me, but there will be signs #dogs

Hey people! When in doubt, do what I do, just spell it "theiyr're" just covered all bases. #humpday

Why do people in Love always have knives with them?

Now more than ever, we need to be accepting of our differences . For example, some people get up early to exercise on the beach... And others get up early to eat 5 Cinnamon rolls, drink 3 cups of coffee and watch those people exercising on the beach!

Maybe Lululemon should take a break from designing the Canadian Olympic outfits, just sayin. Let’s go Canada!!!!🇨🇦 #Olympics

All you complainers settle the fuck down! Here’s a sneak peek at next year’s halftime show performers #SuperBowl

Did anyone watch the TPUSA alternative halftime show, the one for people who like ICE, but hate music, Klanchella ?

Sure, it was cold AF, but don’t let that get in the way of a neighbourhood walk on a beauty day #canada

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is totally my favourite movie from the Rocky franchise. #movies

Got kicked out of the toy section at Walmart today

-The gas pump: “do you have a rewards card?, do you want a car wash?, do you want a receipt? Me:

Not gonna lie, this guy has a pretty amazing resume

How can this injustice not be taken personally? #tuesday

Me, looking 2026 in the eyes and letting it know “we ain’t taking no more bullshit!!”

Bluesky friends, quick heads up! I’ll be posting this on marketplace tomorrow. You guys get first dibs. Message me if you're interested!!! #monday

Jesus going through the memes on my phone and explaining why I won’t be going to heaven Happy Sunday everyone!!!

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right, so the people behind me can see it isn’t my fault.

Lola watching me have my 6th snack this afternoon while she has to wait until 5:00 to eat her brown rocks #dogs

Finally talked my aunt Rhonda into getting her flu shot

To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas gift, they are due back at the library tomorrow.

Everybody, every single day in January

Me, in every photo that someone posts without my final approval

FYI if you accidentally get this Super glue on a couple of your fingers, you’ll forget about anything else going on in your life for about 45 minutes

Me, when someone is using my driveway to turn around

He-Man had a friend named Fisto, that’s all, that’s the post

The TV show Reacher answers the age-old question: what if there was a really big guy?

ME: “I’m totally going to stick to my resolutions this year”. MORGAN FREEMAN: “But he would not stick to his resolutions. In fact, he would break every single one of them, with a speed and an accuracy that would frighten even the closest among him

YESSSSS!!!!! after years of trying, I finally look like George Clooney 🍾🍾🍾👏👏🎂🎂🍾🍾🍾 #movie

bathroom graffiti in Canada

Rage Against The Machine never really said what machine they were mad at, but I’m assuming it was a wireless printer

After doing the math, I spend on average $165 a year to watch bananas turn brown,,,,, #food

You know, for a song called Piano Man, the guy on the harmonica won’t shut the fuck up. #music

If awards were given for complaining about the cold, the wind, the incline, the distance, sore feet, being overdressed, being underdressed, tired legs, the ice, the grey sky, the potential for more snow, the hunger, the squirrels, other people……… #Monday

A kid just taught me to make "Fuck" a contact in my phone, so it stops autocorrecting me to "duck" when I text. I believe that children are the future. #Hope

Fixed it ,,, Happy Sunday everyone !!!!

Let’s quickly take a break from all the moronic Trump stuff going on and congratulate these two incredible human beings.

Watching the Food Network for 7 straight hours inspired me, so for dinner I made a puréed nut spread with a raspberry reduction on blanc brioche bread

Looks like Venezuela’s new name will be “Trumpezuela”