Maybe there were too many Phillies.

PCA Me 🤝 Watching Devin Hester highlights

PCA: “oh god.”

Oh good, they brought John Schriffen in to join the broadcast booth.

There’s literally a goddamn concert every inning. God bless my ass.

The actual competition was phenomenal, but the Netflix Home Run Derby broadcast team changed personnel so randomly I thought I was listening to the Cubs.

Caglia-none of his homers have gone as far as Willson’s.

“What does it mean to suck it up at the derby?”

Did I hit the fucking SAP button? What is this goddamn broadcast?

Couldn’t wait three seconds after his round was done to superimpose ads over the replays.

Willson is killing it.

If I wanted to wait 25 minutes before seeing any home runs I’d watch a Cubs game with a 25-minute rain delay.

Unrelated comedic actors with terrible microphones spouting nonsense and talking over each other on the DVD mail delivery service app is obviously the way to fix the home run derby.

Today is Colin‘s birthday, so in this episode we made a series of Chicago Bears birthday wishes. We also stumbled upon the Bears back to the future moment that would unravel the entire Ben Johnson space-time continuum if we messed with it. Spoiler: DJ Moore as a panther.

This Trump red card nonsense is so upsetting. Surely no World Cup athlete would ever want grossly ridiculous theatrics to influence an official’s decision.

Never in doubt.

The Cubs are at that point where Counsell’s “trying to win” bullpen choices are indistinguishable from his “conceding the loss” bullpen choices.

HOW DO THEY NOT SHOW WHERE THAT “TRIPLE” HIT AFTER THE BOUNCE? THERE’S NO WAY NO ONE TOUCHED THAT!

Find someone who loves you as much as Colin Rea loves pitching against the other team’s ace.

Dang, Christian Yelich looks like he brought a picture of Dansby Swanson to Great Clips.

Not sure why Marquee is mixing a direct feed of the Citi Field audio directly into the broadcast, but here we are.

Holy crap, Angels and A’s.

“‘Matt, what does it mean for you to draw a walk-off walk on Pride Night?”

This is the “Alex Cohen vs. Zach Zaidman” of baseball games.

That was one of those pickoffs where he could have been granted second base because the first baseman was nowhere near the bag.

If Ballesteros has to go back to first, they owe him a nap and some oxygen first.

Hopefully the next time PCA comes to the plate there are men on base, because I’m afraid the Rockies would rather plunk him than let him hit for the cycle.

No one ever talks about Robert De Niro’s turn as Frankenstein’s monster anymore.

Shoutout to the baseball players who celebrate Pride Night by adding the Bible verse where God apologizes for killing everyone right before Noah passes out naked and drunk.

Watch out. I’m pretty sure Seiya got his groove back.

I’m no lawyer, but when a jury in a murder trial deliberates for less than two and a half hours, that’s not just an all-white jury; that’s a jury taken straight out of the facebook comments.

The Cubs have been historically terrible on my birthday (May 9) although I sense they do better when it lands on Mother’s Day. So when their second winning streak led into May 9, I knew it would end right then. I didn’t realize it would destroy them, but here we are. My apologies for being born.

Let me check . . . yep, still hate the Knicks.

Trash game. Trash ending.

Knicks fans on the baseline better watch their ass.

The next round of omelets is on me, fellas. That $7.08 of Facebook money ain’t gonna spend itself.

Wiping out the three and calling an offensive foul there is an absolute joke.

The Knicks truly are Trump’s team.

This game is fun to watch, no question. The slim chance that we could all win is giving me life.

My son and I have a lot of complaints about the Chicago Bears offseason, and this is your opportunity to ignore every single one of them (including the Indiana statement charade).

Probably going to cry every time I hear the Nationwide jingle for the rest of my life. Same goes for that “Sometimes I dream . . .” Like Mike Gatorade one. RIP, Stacey.

The most unearned run in baseball!

If *I* say I’m moving to Hammond but I don’t know exactly where, it’s a safe assumption that I plan to move to Hammond. If a *football team* says they plan to move their stadium to Hammond but they don’t know exactly where, it’s a safe assumption they have zero intention of moving shit.

I think I’ve had my fill of Maton.

The Spurs are crying like they just won the championship. Cuz they did.

I’m calling this the PCA Middle Finger game even though he didn’t (to my knowledge) literally give anyone the middle finger. That game was a middle finger.

NOBLETIGER 👏👏👏👏👏

The fact of the matter is, if the Cubs with all their injuries had arrived at their current record with the order of their wins and losses scattered a bit, it would feel like a pretty decent season so far.

I bet the Cavs could still win if they put Reggie Miller in.

The economy is so bad the Cubs are buying their game results in bulk.