I’m genuinely shocked the younger Boozer isn’t named AND ONE!

What is Walmart thinking playing Matchbox 20 while I’m up in this store? Don’t they know the rule is I got to sing along to Back 2 Good?

Tyus Edney was not consulted.

That was not a flop.

Oh wow, Bill Raftery is at the “looks like he was created by Sid and Marty Krofft” stage of old.

Pete Hegseth does not have faith, he has rhetoric.

Is it possible to place a bet on polymarket that this will be both catastrophic for baseball and insanely profitable for Manfred?

A pint is NOT a lot of ice cream, shut up.

I would never publicly give an honest answer to this question, but the songs people hate reveal such weirdness. Y’all are weird and I love you for it. Freaks.

Jack Superbowl back in the fold.

Yes, no one is suffering more from the spike in oil prices than . . . people who invested in solar and wind energy.

A great write-up on brand-new research I was involved in. We used a really different approach from the ones that we & many others have used previously to estimate how many Covid deaths there *really* were--almost 20% more than known. Our results broadly accord w others but add new demographic detail

Maxx Crosby Sounds Off and Spills the Tea on Failed Raiders-Ravens Trade https://www.bleachernation.com/bears/2026/03/18/maxx-crosby-new-pod/

Imagine not being able to spell Strait.

Has Palencia’s glove come back down yet?

That’s my closer.

40 MINUTES TIL POLLS CLOSE. As always, if you’re waiting in line to vote, STAY IN LINE.

Same.

Had a zoom call this morning with a dude who turned out to be an actual citizen of Ireland, which made me slightly regret my Mickey Mouse St. Patrick’s Day shirt choice. But his accent definitely got me in the holiday spirit.

The date and the temperature aren’t supposed to be the same in March.

Tupperware clean-out day is a beautiful and terrible event. My poor garbage disposal has asked not to be personified so as to retain a basic sliver of inanimate dignity.

How in the WORLD can everyone be SO confident that Trump never communes with the ghost of Nixon?

I had wondered what the longer clip of this would say because the shorter version cuts off right after Johnson says “well that wasn’t public, but…” Obviously there was more to it. Trump’s doctors intervened! He then looked 30 years younger! A miracle! Still gonna die in June. WTF?

1. Steel mill tour 2. Maple Sugar Time at Chellberg Farm and Bailly Homestead 3. Turkey Run State Park 4. Name a building on the Chicago museum campus 5. Valparaiso Memorial Opera House

That's a good judge and a good person.

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down. . . .

Me everyday since November 6, 2024

Me, when I walked out the door this morning:

If I were literally any player on the Jets and people started telling me I’d been traded to the Chiefs, I would immediately assume I was being punk’d.

Me looking at my phone.

Me looking outside.

This is some bullshit.

Was that call as bad as it looked on gameday?

Did they even show Gene Hackman?

The Family Stone vibes, goddamn.

The song choice is destroying me.

HRDR

Fitting “artisans, alchemists, and dream weavers,” “shoutout,” and “shit” into one acceptance speech deserves an Oscar of its own.

My first tweet to ever get RT’ed was during the 2007 Oscars: “How do you solve a problem like Beyoncé?” I had to google “RT” for like a week to learn what it meant.

Happy Ides of March to all the senators out there with the courage to celebrate.

Sometimes I like to hang out at the hospital and protest every single surgery with my “GOD DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES” sign.

My 22yo and 18yo groan at my dad jokes. My 13yo laughs at my dad jokes. My 8yo asks if she can have some space.

Tomorrow is the ides of march and this is your annual reminder that every month has ides (and kalends and nones).

Dead Poets socializing.

I love watching Arzt blow up.

Pie, pie, me oh my. Nothing tastes sweet, wet, salty, and dry all at once so much as pie. Apple, pumpkin, minced, and black bottom, I’ll come to your place each day if you’ve got ‘em. Pie, me oh my, I love pie. Happy Pi day.

“Dave! Ain’t that your horse that kid is messin’ with?”

Team USA is making me feel guilty for calling the Dodgers the most thoroughly unlikable team imaginable.

A little known fact about me is that I’m the one who started the trend back in the day of using coolio as an interjection.