BREAKING: After Elon Musk revealed to be Epstein Island visitor, ICE hotline flooded with calls demanding immigrant Musk’s deportation.

BREAKING: Donald Trump literally declares war on American citizens and states while claiming “the left” is promoting violence.

BREAKING: As prices, unemployment, and political violence continue to rise Donald Trump asks Americans to take comfort in knowing that under his watch pedophiles are now fully protected.

😼 Wordle 1,561 5/6 ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟩⬜🟨 🟨🟩🟩⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Hops with Pops.

BREAKING: At Donald Trump’s behest Department of Justice has officially become Department of Epstein File Distractions.

😑 Wordle 1,560 4/6 🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨 ⬜🟩🟨🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

BREAKING: According to Fox News it’s not the people stockpiling and taking family Christmas photos with guns but actually the people who want to ban guns who are the only ones causing political violence with them.

BREAKING: Donald Trump declares stairs are now Antifa.

BREAKING: Scientists discover direct link between voting for Donald Trump and protecting pedophiles.

😎 Wordle 1,559 3/6 🟨🟨⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟨🟩🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

So jealous of anyone who lives in a country where the government isn’t actively trying to kill them.

Imagine being so American you’d ban Tylenol before guns.

I’M BACK, BABY. Wenwu returns in MARVEL ZOMBIES streaming on Disney+ NOW.

Truly, a dumber shit was never shat out upon this earth.

As much as you may hate your job at least you weren’t working as a UN interpreter when Donald Trump’s teleprompter broke down.

🥄 Wordle 1,558 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟩⬜🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

BREAKING: Scientists discover prolonged exposure to Donald Trump leads to decreased intelligence, increased aggression, and spinal degeneration.

BREAKING: Doctors refute Donald Trump’s unfounded claims about Tylenol but are also quick to point out that disappointingly there isn’t enough acetaminophen in the world to make Trump induced headaches go away.

HOW DO YOU SAY ACETAMINOPHEN?!?

BREAKING: After Elon Musk’s father accused of child sexual abuse, Donald Trump reportedly set to offer him cabinet position.

By all means if you feel compelled to take medical advice from this guy I 100% encourage you to do so.

😬 Wordle 1,557 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨🟨🟨 🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

But what I’d really like to know is who the hell is the Niners’ conditioning coach and how on earth do they still have a job?

BREAKING: After Donald Trump falsely claims Tylenol causes autism, board of directors for Tylenol manufacturer Kenvue considering exactly which Trump properties they would like to own following lawsuit.

BREAKING: Jimmy Kimmel to return to ABC on Tuesday just in time for everyone to reinstate their Disney Plus accounts and enjoy season finale of Alien: Earth.

Whether you voted for him or not you must admit that as president Donald Trump has done the BEST JOB EVER of not releasing the Epstein files.

BREAKING: After Donald Trump shuts down FBI criminal investigation of “border czar” Tom Homan, Americans wondering when Homan plans to deport himself.

If the rapture means all these awful people will go away honestly it can’t get here soon enough.

New York. Baby.

But seriously, white folks. You doing okay?

People keep telling me he wasn’t divisive because I guess I’m just too dumb to understand how saying “The American Democrat party hates this country. They wanna see it collapse. They love it when America becomes less white” is supposed to unite us.

People keep telling me he wasn’t bigoted because I guess I’m just too dense to understand how saying “Islam is the sword the left is using to slit the throat of America” is supposed to be loving.

People keep telling me he wasn’t racist because I guess I’m just too stupid to understand how saying “America was at its peak when we halted immigration for 40 years and we dropped our foreign-born percentage to its lowest level ever” is supposed to be inclusive.

BREAKING: Donald Trump shuts down FBI investigation of Tom Homan criminal activity because “it’s not a crime when we do it.”

🧙 Wordle 1,555 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜ ⬜🟩⬜🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

If you wanna excuse your own bigotry, racism, and ignorance, go right ahead. Just don’t expect anyone else to.

Bottom line is: If you wanna be racist, be racist. Don’t deny it. Revel in it. Hell, be proud of it. Just don’t expect anyone else to agree with it, understand it, or celebrate it.

Old enough to remember when saying racist, sexist, homophobic, derogatory, dehumanizing, divisive, and inflammatory bullshit didn’t get you a national holiday.

Seems like a lotta you either don’t know what “context” means or think saying crazy, racist shit is perfectly acceptable so long as you’re “debating.”

😑 Wordle 1,554 4/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

BREAKING: Donald Trump demands “Saving Private Ryan” be removed from Library of Congress because film is “Antifa propaganda.”

BREAKING: Republicans demonstrating to entire world the extreme lengths they will go simply to protect a pedophile.

Gonna be wild when your grandkids are pulling down Charlie Kirk statues, finding the red hats you buried in the back of your closet, and wondering how you let all this happen for the price of eggs which never ever went down.

Crazy how the people running the company that owns Star Wars, the Avengers, and Indiana Jones can have such a fundamental misunderstanding of what they’re all about.

😑 Wordle 1,553 6/6 🟨⬜⬜🟩⬜ 🟨🟩⬜🟩⬜ ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Okay, dumdums. Because many of you clearly never watched Schoolhouse Rock, private companies are free to fire whomever they choose but when they do so at the behest of the president of the United States that’s exactly what the First Amendment is supposed to protect us from.

BREAKING: Economists declare in Donald Trump’s America speech no longer free and soon to cost more than eggs, gas, and prescription drugs combined.

BREAKING: All indications suggest that by midterm elections Trump administration will have reduced Bill of Rights to Bill of Right and Second Amendment will be only one on there.

Ironically, Charlie Kirk would not have cancelled Jimmy Kimmel because Charlie Kirk believed in Jimmy Kimmel’s right to free speech.