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BREAKING: Trump administration literally demanding lists of Jews in case you thought elections don’t matter.

Have the day you voted for.

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Make Stupidity Shameful Again.

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BREAKING: Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo declares U.S. “must restore the military draft.”

FINAL FOUR ONCE MORE. #GoBruins

Trump’s America, 2026. #NoKings Photo by Jill Connelly/AP

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NO KINGS NO CLOWNS NO OLD PEDOPHILES STARTING TO SUNDOWN #NoKings

NO KINGS. And while we’re at it, NO CRIMINALS NO RACISTS and NO PEDOPHILES either. That should cover it. #NoKings

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These ladies are ELITE. #GoBruins

BREAKING: Tiger Woods arrested on suspicion of DUI following rollover crash prompting Donald Trump to make Woods new Secretary of Transportation.

BREAKING: “I don’t want a stupid person being president,” says stupid person being president.

I’ve never seen a Ryan Gosling wardrobe that I didn’t want.

BREAKING: Economists predict Donald Trump adding his signature to U.S. currency will go about as well as everything else he puts his name on; suggest investors, businesses, and consumers plan accordingly.

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Project Hail Mary is a terrific movie about the end of the world that’s inspiring, uplifting, and hopeful because it presents a version of humanity that actually seems worth saving.

You see, when Democratic lawmakers keep trying to fund TSA but Republicans keep voting those proposals down that means Republicans are to blame for airport delays so please stop getting upset when people call you a complete fucking idiot for saying it’s the Democrats’ fault.

BREAKING: Sheer amount of disinformation, propaganda, and supreme leader worship coming from Trump administration making North Korea look like rank amateurs.

In a world of mediocre white men, be an Alan Ritchson.

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Firmly believe that my son is single-handedly propping up the entire dairy industry.

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You know Republicans are on the wrong side of history when even my Chinese mother would NEVER suggest that I’ve given this acting thing a chance but maybe it’s time to find a real job and hey did you know ICE is hiring?

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How SWEET it is. #GoBruins

BREAKING: Senate confirms Markwayne Mullin as new Homeland Security Secretary but somehow Democrats are to blame for airport delays.

Just a friendly reminder to all Democratic California Governor candidates currently polling in single digits, please do us all a favor and DROP THE FUCK OUT.

MS. RACHEL FOR PRESIDENT.

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Anybody who’s sat through a plane deicing knows that ICE doesn’t belong at the airport.

Sending untrained, unqualified, heavily armed, violent thugs to “police” what are already the most crowded, confusing, and stressful places on earth? What could possibly go wrong?

BREAKING: Not satisfied with only murdering Americans on our country’s streets, Donald Trump to deploy murderers to our nation’s airports as well.

You’d think the Republican strategy of winning elections, tanking the economy, and then blaming Democrats for it would eventually fail but you’d be greatly overestimating the intelligence of the average American voter.

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Starting off RIGHT. #GoBruins

BREAKING: Gigantic piece of shit continues to be predictably shitty while fans of shit merely shrug and say, “Actually I think high gas prices, war, and raping kids are good now.”

BREAKING: MAGA threatens to boycott “The Pitt” after episode inaccurately portrays ICE agents behaving far less lethally than they do in real life.

BREAKING: Robert Mueller dies and Donald Trump prophetically tweets exactly what everyone will be saying about Trump, “Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people!”

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MAGA threatening to boycott The Pitt is hilarious because if they were actually watching The Pitt they wouldn’t be MAGA.

I’ll tell you what I don’t like about men’s college basketball. Two long ass halves? Why not just play four quarters? Stupid.

Republicans on the Iran war be like

As much as I love The Pitt I gotta say that ICE storyline was kinda bullshit because everyone knows ICE NEVER gives anyone medical attention.

Absolutely wild that they cancelled The Bachelorette before the President of the United States and she didn’t even rape any kids.

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Here’s the thing: They’re reality TV stars BECAUSE they’re awful people.