I have eaten the holy infant Forgive me it was so tender But also very mild

Don’t know much about aeronautical engineering - is this good?

One like and I’ll shout ‘WE FORGOT KEVIN’ on my flight today

I’m ‘Realised electric toothbrush heads would be a good gift’ years of age

What you drinking tonight will I get you a

Well I thought it was funny

First day as a book reviewer going well

First Christmas since Kodaline broke up. Always the hardest.

Feel bad for people that struggle to climb the corporate ladder. My CEO just emailed me asking if I’d buy loads of Amazon vouchers so I dropped everything and got it done in under a minute. Hustle mindset is all it takes, folks 💪

Hi I’m the director of the fireplace video on Netflix 👋 Ask me anything!

Babe what’s wrong you’ve hardly even looked at your Christmas present

“Yes Paddy I’ve always been fascinated by aviation” Well if you step to the side, please give a warm welcome to missing flight MH370 with an important message about safety. #LateLateToyShow

Attic = Catholic Loft = Protestant

Right now would be a spectacular time of year to go white water rafting at the IFSC. Never forget what they took from us.

Selling my etch a sketch, drop me a line

Day 1 of not cutting my hair until they reduce the price of Freddos

nothing but respect for my leaders past and present

Cowper? No, cow moo.

Not American so when someone mentions the bar exam this is what I am imagining

Fuck he's good

Eleven. He's not even a DJ.

First day back at work since Prince Andrew lost his title

Pirate DVDs! (from season 2 of Lunchtime with Michael Fry, written by @ciara.bsky.social )

How it feels to reject a suggestion in the google doc

Halloween 2022 was low effort but high reward

British graffiti is just the pits honestly

Who shall inherit the earth hun?

Only two episodes left in the #GBBO series but this whimsical and deranged podcast will last a lifetime. Catch up and treat yourself to a few little lols and perhaps even a rofl open.spotify.com/show/69d0yf3...

Most promiscuous person at the count centre will be crowned the Tally Ho

I wonder if the beds Sarkozy

Enoch but e don't get let inside

Inclusion and accessibility is important

Due to a pricing error in a nationwide pharmacy, I had been getting Fisherman’s Friends for 10p a packet for weeks. They’re now back to 99p because someone narked. Let me tell you, they are no friend of mine, nor a fisherman.

Gotta get da pastries at

If someone offers you a pepper but you're not sure if you heard them correctly, legally you have to say 'I beg your padron?'

Pontius’ nickname in school

Hi, I'm Norma Foley's hairstylist! Ask me anything :)

Presidential hopefuls have had almost 24 hours to prepare their statements on the breakup of Kodaline and yet we continue to wait. Your silence is deafening.

A charspookerie platter? Much too scary for me I’m afraid

Not to disrupt the industry or anything but I can see Invisalign

It’s c*m

If you’re watching #GBBO but not listening to the dumbest post-bake analysis, you are missing out and should rectify that today open.spotify.com/episode/4ODS...

Nicole Kidman shocks onlookers as she steps out with rumoured new beau Keith Rural.

First Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban separation without Fungie. Always the hardest.

Disney On Ice

Ok brilliant marketing alert!! They made a drink as part of the promo for that new House of Guinness series!!

First 3rd place win in the Cherry Comedy Breakout Act 2025 without Fungie. Always the hardest.

If your birthday is today, it’s very likely your parents got horned up on Christmas Day.