never, EVER let a mikko rantanen-led team trail 2-0 in the third period of a do-or-die game

i have lost a lot of respect for brendan burke today. he could hit t.j. oshie with a chloroform rag and immediately improve this broadcast tenfold but he won't for some reason

There should be a dispensary inside of every Buc-ee's location

the internet has gotta stop doing russell wilson like that. he got real old, real fast but seahawks russ was one of the purest throwers of a football ever. he could even throw the ball farther than me

i cannot even begin to describe to you how badass this movie is

pre-1900s italian diaspora is entirely poverty-based which is tough but what is also tough is that, from the stories i was told, some ellis island dipshit fucked up my ancestors' surname and wrote down "Dorsa" whereas all of the photos and notes they brought over were marked "Dorsalini"

WORLD'S STUPIDEST BLUESKY POST CONTENDER: i kinda feel bad for aaron judge. he is certifiably the best hitter since early-2000s barry bonds and yet his sheer greatness (rightfully or not) exists in the shadow of shohei ohtani, the most talented ballplayer we have ever seen

c.j. stroud is currently employing an advanced offensive tactic nfl analysts have dubbed "playing with your eyes closed and seeing what happens"

only the two best players in the NHL have more goals than jason robertson this season and yet bill guerin is genuinely convinced there are *at least* 14 forwards more deserving of a spot on the olympic roster

i will be attending as many major league baseball games as possible in 2026 and enjoying every bit of each one, knowing that baseball in 2027 is a pipe dream at this point

i have been to laramie, wyoming before. i am pretty much josh allen

me: well hey, al michaels is so old and clearly mentally cooked that instead of calling NFL games, he should run for president! folks, my therapist: What does that have to do with the familial trauma you outlined

i think the ravens win the afc north and make the playoffs if instead of tyler loop, they had FTBAL135.BMF and his incredible, fundamentally-sound form kicking the game winning field goal

my therapist says i need to reassure myself of my skills and talents in 2026. here goes: i am an exceptionally skilled craftsman, a respected outdoorsman, and i know how to count to six. that last one is something i worked passionately on last year

it is becoming increasingly clear that carlos beltran and andruw jones will achieve the 75% vote threshold on the writer's ballots, joining jeff kent to create perhaps the most problematic baseball hall of fame induction class ever

i was on the polar express. i missed my transfer in chicago and had to take a different route home. i slept through most of the insane christmasy shit that happened. i drank a prosecco in the cafe car and verbally fought someone over whether or not cows lay eggs

it gets worse than this

the nfl should have survivor-esque immunity idols scattered across the stadium for the players to find. when a player acquires one, they can choose to use it to negate a penalty called against them. this is the single worst idea anyone has ever had and i am rarely this confident about anything

congratulations to munetaka murakami for securing a team with which to play baseball next season. im posting this because last year my rec baseball team had a longer-tenured player return from an injury that sidelined him for 2024, and to make room decided to let me go. still kinda bummed about it

the tacos in anaheim are so good! unfortunately i started to feel a little sick after i 8-3 of them

watching john klingberg absolutely pants sidney crosby in the big two thousand and twenty five on repeat, forever

the stars will cruise to the #2 seed in the central, defeat a solid wild team in six, win a grueling seven-game series against a juggernaut avs squad, then bring their tired and fucked up bodies to edmonton to be goalied into oblivion by tristan fucking jarry. the script practically writes itself

FOOTBALT.BMF

today is the worst day imaginable for residents of oxford, mississippi since august 22nd, 1864

They're doing this to me today

i am in nebraska for the first time today, which means i have finally seen for my own eyes how magnificently vast the great plains can be. and! the great plains has finally seen an italian guy in a dallas stars sweatshirt

drake london? more like drake london, because this game is in berlin, germany. or i mean more like drake berlin because this game is in berlin

Justin Hryckowian will be a fantastic "name a random Star" pull like 15 years from now

i'm looking forward to watching game six of the american league championship series tonight. it has been a compelling set between two teams with incredible fanbases itching to finally break through. all of my suffering, all of my tears mean nothing in the end as i will never be whole. should be fun

1803 2025 🤝 james madison influential in the collective owning of louisiana

one of the lesser-discussed funny things about 2025 mlb is that there is a trevor rogers, taylor rogers, and tyler rogers all in the league at the same time

i am attending the labor day matinee matchup between the giants and rockies at coors field today. i have always enjoyed baseball in the summer sun. i will never again be the version of myself they fell in love with. even though the rockies are so bad, i like going to as many games as i can

fuck it, mikko rantanen on the now-defunct san antonio rampage

what stage of clinical depression am i on if i just realized that i have developed a parasocial relationship with the hosts of my favorite podcast

if i were an MLB closer, my entrance from the bullpen in the ninth inning would be accompanied by the playing of a soft jazz classic, "exotica" by johnny pearson from the KPM 1000 series (1972), in hopes of lulling opposing batters into complacency with such a song selection. i would blow every save

Kevin Kiermaier on the Rays vs Kevin Pillar with the Blue Jays used to be absolute cinema

i have been on this for years but god fucking damn pat mcafee sucks. just spitting and yelling, visibly fucked up drunk at all times on screen. no real analysis of anything important, no original thoughts. just him and his sweaty friends shooting the shit. i will never understand the appeal

Moneyball 2: Return of The Ball (2025, color, 133 min.)

the AL cy young race through roughly one-third of the 2025 season is absolutely stacked. i don't have any friends and have trouble socializing due to debilitating clinical depression. i think it's gonna end up being skubal again, but kris bubic and max fried have been stupidly good so far

I love all this digital art that this one guy made in 1999 and uploaded to wikimedia commons

scriptwriters are running out of ideas. you're telling me a tired and injured stars team, who had to fight through elite talent in the first two rounds, is struggling to keep up with the high-end talent of the oilers? come the fuck on, man. we dont deserve reruns like this

Alberta is pretty much Canadian Texas. Our respective fanbases have more in common than we realize and it's sad to see Stars and Oilers fans bicker

look, if i get canceled for this take, then so be it. i don't care anymore! i will not be silenced! alright, here goes. i hope my favorite hockey team wins tonight

now seated for the C.B. Bucknor home plate umpire experience

i got into baseball maybe a year or two before barry bonds surpassed hank aaron for most career home runs. it felt like i was watching something important, but i was nine years old and didn't quite understand the significance of it all

i am currently drinking a venom energy drink and enjoying the second inning of royals vs brewers

man this is beautiful work. it makes me wish i had grown up in a world wherein people yearn to make extraordinary leaps in societal innovation just to see if it's possible, as opposed to [stares at everything taking place now]

i will never get over the fact that this happened in real life youtu.be/NMfBdEV03j8?...