"...it is obvious and clear that we have not the profile of [Newcastle’s] Jacob Murphy, for example, available at this moment at this time.” £100m in Jan if you need him, Arne www.theguardian.com/football/202... #NUFC

What in the Guys 'n' Dolls is that suit, Rio?

Genuinely some of the most unhinged television you'll ever see - it's fucking mental

I feel like I'm watching North Korean TV.

I once opened for Kevin Hart, unwittingly. I'd say that was a better night for him and his career than this.

Explainger Things, more like.

My favourite part of last night was waiting to see what kind of intimidating tifo would be unfurled by the Marseille fans, only for it to be "Come on guys!" #NUFC

Howay the lads #NUFC

Having a horrible time in EUROPE'S MOST DANGEROUS CITY - had two nice meals out yesterday, some lovely French beers and even a nice walk around the harbour, all while meeting some of the dreaded locals who didn't try and glass or mug me once for some reason, the absolute shits #NUFC

Bienve-fuckin'-nue! #NUFC

Sure, the story's funny on its own, but what the fuck is this quote from Maresca? "I wake up many times during the night - I hit my head, my legs, my everything - so it can happen."

Really cool of #NUFC to wait until everyone has paid for their accommodation before sending this out... 🙄

I spoke to Andre Cisco from the @newyorkjets.bsky.social about his favourite places to go in NYC, and which places to avoid - give it a read here: 🏈🗽 theculturetrip.com/north-americ...

A genuinely lovely bit of reading before tonight #NUFC www.skysports.com/football/new...

Nick Pope played like he'd never seen a football before and was worried it might be some sort of deadly object #NUFC

A married man with children - spoOoOoOky

Alan Robson must be doing another of his Night Owls specials.

As good a time as any to remind everyone of how shit Otamendi's back tattoos are #NUFC

Submitted by an E. Howe about his friend Jason T #NUFC

column on robbie keane www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Greatest sports photo of all time

The Mariners are headed to their first ALCS since 2001 ‼️

Didn't want to sleep last night anyway - the most stressful thing I've ever watched

"I'll dee a quick fix on it for now" @accidentalp.bsky.social

🤌🤌🤌

Potter? I hardly know 'er

Will never forgive the FA for not letting Blyth Spartans have "drink beer, smoke tabs" on the front of their shirts.

I knew Steve McFadden was behind this. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/e...

It's the lingerie derby 👙 #NEWBRA #NUFC

Must have watched this 400 times since it happened...🔱

BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD™️

The Luuk de Jong derby #NUFC

Tonight. #NUFC

Never had such feelings about a man with a dodgy moustache before

Wait until he finds out about every single other item for sale in Camden. He'll be livid.

Handibal more like.

When did #NUFC sell Trippier to Wolves?

Get in Peter Krautsch! #NUFC

Shit scared of going up against Tino #nufc

Train tickets to Brussels for USG(a) booked - any #NUFC fans who can help a fella out with tickets?!

Osula? I hardly know her. #nufc

Anyone else already booked flights? Marseille bound in November 🇫🇷✈️ #NUFC

Mourinho vs Marinakis is definitely happening.

When you're playing 'cars' in the playground and aren't realistic about how big a steering wheel is.

THE #NUFC squad with Dan Burn, Woltemade, Joelinton, Botman and Thiaw...

I went to Porto at the beginning of the month - here's the good stuff you should see and do x theculturetrip.com/europe/portu...