"I'm gay, not queer." Just say what you mean, "I'm not like the rest of these faggots" Honey, they won't spare you for throwing the rest of us under the bus. To them you are exactly like us. Queer is an umbrella that your opressors lump you into. You don't get to opt out.

#trans #transpride

45 year olds dads play at guitar center like they're hoping there's a talent scout looking for bald, married guys who can play zeppelin's greatest hits the loudest.

#LifeProTip If you leave a bunch of old food and dishes in the sink long enough it basically turns to diarrhea and saves you the effort of having to make diarrhea with your own body.

Sorting your reddit feed by new is both enlightening and painful.

The grease fire will eventually go out if you add enough water.

Using the word "busy" online a lot but misspelling it "bussy" to slowly corrupt the straights.

I see folks getting annoyed when someone messages them "Is this still available?" on Facebook market but I've notice it's actually a great filter because 90% of the people who open with that end up being annoying low-ball doorknobs. If you just ignore them they'll go away.

Going to a mutli cultural queer space and asking "So, like, is stud a black exclusive term or can any masc lesbian be a stud?" then leaving like dropping river rocks into a bonfire. Happy #pride

When did all these young guys decide they want kids and they're mad women don't? Or is it just that some podcast guy told them to be mad about it? This boys aren't even fucking either way so I'm baffled why they care.

Conservative dudes if they ever actually bag a baddy will make her dress like a nun, then they'll goon to IG baddies who dress the way their girl used to instead of fucking her until she leaves so she can dress how she wants again.

A 5 year age gap is pretty normal in your 30s but it is weird when you're like "Yeah I remember walking home from middle school on 9/11 with an early dismissal" and your partner telling you they barely remember because they were in 3rd grade.

The "Raise Him Up" Homelander song didn't have to go nearly as hard as it did.

Guys with loud cars/trucks are what happens when the kid who said "Mom, mom watch, mom look, mom, mom look. MOM. LOOK!" before doing something completely unremarkable grows up.

Pitbull owners asking everyone "What breed is my dog?" hoping for some rare mix are the same people who bring their loose change to a pawn shop to ask if they have any rare ones.

If I ever get mega rich I'm going to donate to some group on the condition they open a library in my name but have to call it a "Liberry"

Man what a grift. Get your car booted, remove boot, sell on facebook market, repeat.

HR did not appreciate my time saving initiative to allow people to unbuckle and unzip on the way to the bathroom to improve key efficiencies.

Taking a shit at #Target and leaving without buying anything because that's all it's good for. Happy #Pride!

Femboys and enbies can we please stop saying you're "making men question their sexuality" while dressed to resemble their exact traditional heterosexual fantasy? It's stolen valor from folks who are so unbelievably gorgeous they awaken a new fantasy in that person which they never knew they had.

Ban the use of all chemicals on golf courses. If you can play on raw ground maybe you're not really that good.

Blasting testosterone into my pecs and estrogen into my ass cheek and lettint them fight in the middle to see who wins

I need gamers to understand that if you need every female character to be goon bait you are mentally ill.

Guy will mansplain mindfulness, meditation and stoicism to you and if you ask them if it made them happier they'll be like "Oh no I have real problems these don't work for me lol"

I'm not entirely unconvinced that the researchers trying to learn to communicate with dolphins aren't just looking to strengthen the case the dolphins can consent.

If I had psychic mind reading powers I'd walk up to people and call their name then pretend to know them while recounting very specific memories from their past while inserting myself into them until they question their reality.

People complaining that things "feel cheap" if they're lightweight are why have companies throwing unnecessary weight in their products to please idiota who don't know other ways to judge quality.

Fun fact, if you respond to an unwanted text with a picture of your snake eating, most people will stop messaging you.

Being unable to recall if your #trans friend has played #Fallout New Vegas and knowing assuming incorrectly either way is a hate crime.

Saying "Sorry for looking at your hands," every few sentences during a conversation but refusing to elaborate.

A reimagining of #HotOnes except everything is extremely minty. "I'm Sean Evans and this is Cold Ones, the show with cool guests and even colder foods! Today we have Arnold Schwarzenegger. You may know him from his role as Mr. Freeze. Arnold how are you with mint?" "I use mint toothpaste..."

Person on reddit posting the most obvious pitbull you've ever seen, "This is my shepherd / black mouth cur mix" #dogs

People who don't put sizes on shoes and clothes they're selling online, did you get dropped on your head as a kid?

What is with the people with 50% pit mixes hanging around groups for purebred dogs like shepherd and BMC groups? There's some weird denial going on in these guys, or like they need to believe their dog is an extra special rescue and not just a mutt? Mutts are cool. Stop being in denial.

Iced coffee is not a personality

Love the D tier wannabe influencers filming in their car seat because they're hiding something about their house. What are you hiding, little larva of societal cancer?

Guys who watch too many wacky health podcasts deciding whether we're all sick because we need parasites or because the doctors won't give us ivermectin to kill the secret parasites we don't know we have.

If I ever get really rich I'm going to start buying up all those racist black characateur statuettes and repaint them white.

I will die on this hill, do not approach the cheese shelves at the grocery store until you have decided what you want.

Pros, work just gave you an upgraded PC. Cons, this shit is fucked and you have to start all over on your damn bookmarks, links etc.

Am I the only one who thinks all the scales sound exactly the same as long as the intervals are?

Can we make dna testing affordable so we can find out who is leaving booty potpourri on toilets seats and fine them?

How long until they start marketing it as "Brotox" to appeal to men?

Replying with 🤪🤪🤪 every time someone in leadership sends me a request via Teams until I get fired.

My favorite economic indicator is when guitar gear is dirt cheap on Facebook market and still not selling.

Cishet girls will have the most femme haircut and a crop top, put on some loose jeans and call themselves a tomboy. 🤮🤮🤮

Never forget dudes driving $60k+ new lifted trucks voted for this because things were too expensive under Biden.

Not to victim blame, but if your type is the lifted truck, oakleys and snapback guy, you can't keep acting surprised when one day they say they're anti abortion before going on a racist tyrade.